Communication | Relationships

5 Times That Doing Nothing Is Absolutely The Right Call

“Remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day”

Ron Livingston is a working actor most notably known for starring in the cult classic movie, “Office Space.”

Ron’s character (Peter Gibbons) is an uninspired software programmer at the titular tech company “Initech” — say that five times fast.

Peter consistently asks other characters what they would do if they had a million dollars. When asked the question himself, Peter responds:

“Nothing. I would relax, I would sit on my ass all day. I would do nothing.”

With this revelation (and a little hypnotherapy), Peter gives up on trying — at anything. He simply acts as he would if he had a million dollars in the bank.

Amazingly, his life drastically improves.

Far be it for me to say that sitting on your butt all day is a solid recipe for success. But, it sheds light on an interesting truism. Doing nothing can be a powerful tool.

Here are 5 situations in which doing nothing is absolutely the right call.

1. When responding to feedback

Feedback is a double-edged sword. We all crave it because it helps us grow. But, we not-so-secretly only want to hear positive feedback. Whether it’s a rejection email or unsolicited advice, the most common reaction is to become defensive.

Obviously, positive feedback is much easier to take than negative. But when faced with either, it’s helpful to take a step back and let yourself absorb it.

It takes time for our emotions to settle, and we are all often too quick to accept or reject feedback. If you’re not ready to respond, blanket feedback with neutrality until you’ve had time to analyze how you feel. “That’s great feedback, thanks” works wonders.

2. After making a mistake

We all make mistakes. We’re human. But trying to undo a mistake is a sure-fire way to make things worse.

Take Kevin’s Famous Chili, for example. If you’re unfamiliar with the reference, it comes from an episode of “The Office”, where office worker, Kevin, brings his famous chili to work. After cartoonishly spilling it all over the ground, he scrambles to scoop it up with close-by office supplies. He ends up slipping in it, making an even bigger mess.

We often want to correct mistakes quickly as a way of undoing the past. But, we can’t undo the past. All we can do is accept it and move forward. As Chris Cobbs says, “The past is never there when you try to go back… to pretend otherwise is to invite a mess [a sticky, chili mess].”

3. When things just aren’t clicking

We all have good days and bad days. Sometimes a glass falls out of the cupboard and you catch it like Spiderman. Others, you pour milk into your orange juice and then try to drink your cereal.

When it hasn’t been your day, week, month, or even year, take a deep breath. You only exist in the present, so stay there for a little while. Spend some time figuring out what’s contributing to your series of unfortunate events.

90% of “bad days” can be attributed to being hungry, angry, under stress, lonely, or tired. HAULT, then figure out what’s going on for you.

4. When feeling attacked

A few weeks ago, I was leaving work to head out on a date. A co-worker of mine asked to see a picture of the woman I was seeing. Innocently, I obliged pulling up a few pictures from her dating profile. He then proceeded to rudely judge her appearance point-blank.

I was dumbfounded. I felt attacked. “What the heck, man?” My first instinct was to fight back, saying “Well, let’s see a picture of the women you date.” But, this just stooped me to his level.

The smallest and oddest things in life can make us feel vulnerable. After putting some thought into it, I realized that he was merely trying to connect with me through a very sloppy joke. One clearly stemming from insecurity.

5. Reading mean comments

Although this community is very positive and I receive mainly supportive comments, there are a few faceless, mean profiles floating around. Especially when it comes to health-related articles, I find that some people just look for ways to tell you you’re wrong.

Always take a moment to respond, even if you think you know what to say. Sometimes they have a point, and others, they’re flat-out fishing for trouble. It’s important to read between the lines to best interpret their intent.

Some people write aggressively without knowing it. I used to have an old manager that emailed mean but was actually a sweetheart. Writing is not everyone’s talent. And intent can be easily misconstrued.

Read, re-read, and assume the best. There’s no sense creating a string of replies that will only serve to ruin your day.

If you could just do nothing, that’d be greeeeeat

When it comes to responding to emotional triggers, time is your best friend. Reacting is easy — waiting, hard.

When you feel triggered, take a page out of Peter Gibbons’ book. Sit back (arms crossed behind your head) and simply do nothing.

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