5 Things You Should Stop Doing

Starting with writing list articles.

This may not make me popular but I’ve never really cared what people thought of me before so why start now?

Today, I was scrolling through my Medium homepage and I saw article after article with numbers in the titles.

The 5 things to do when… The 3 ways to know if… The 7 most important… The 12 days of Christmas…

That last one might be a song. But you get my point.

It feels more like scrolling through Buzzfeed when it’s nothing but clickbait titles containing life advice from people who’ve declared themselves an authority on any given subject.

I write some types of advice. I don’t consider myself an expert on anything because in general, I don’t believe in experts. There is always more to learn. But no matter what topic you’re writing on — no two people are exactly the same.

I guess I don’t understand the lure of writing a list of advice instead of writing about your own experience. Maybe because I’m a narrative writer. Or maybe it’s because I don’t believe in telling others how to live.

But today… I’m making an exception. Sort of. I’m not telling you how to live, but I am going to tell you how not to live.

Starting with the entire reason this article came to life.

1. Stop making life lists unless they’re solely you’re own.

If you want to write an article about the 5, 10, 15, or 450 things that you absolutely must do before you die — awesome. Do it. But writing a list of the things other people must do before they die doesn’t account for individuality.

For example, you might think it’s an absolute must that I taste sushi in Japan before I die. Personally, I’d rather die than eat sushi anywhere because I do not see fish as food so much as the grossest thing on earth. I believe fish are a vital part of the planet and I will fight until my dying breath for oceanic cleanups and sustainable fishing practices. But I will never eat seafood. I’ve tried it, I didn’t like it, I’m allergic to some of it, and I don’t want to eat it ever again. So your list is not my list and therefore — stop making lists.

2. Don’t give medical advice. Ever.

I’m a vet tech. I cringe when I see articles written by pet parents spouting off home remedies and medical advice about pets. It’s dangerous. It’s irresponsible. It’s probably incredibly untrue.

I recently saw a list on this platform about potential health risks to aging cats. It was not written by a veterinary professional and was clearly something that was simply Googled. It involved several diseases that, yes, are possible for cats to get when they’re older, but the list was vastly misleading. It didn’t give any potential age ranges, it listed symptoms with no explanations for how to spot them (please explain to me as a pet parent — not a veterinary professional — what lethargy looks like in a creature that can sleep anywhere from 12–20 hours per day. I’ll wait), and it did not in any way discuss their actual likelihood.

It should have been called An Article of Paranoia For Cat Parents.

But that is honestly much better than the ones that offer fake home remedies that at best don’t work, and at worst harm animals. Anything you read that tells you to put essential oils anywhere near or on your pets should be ignored. I personally think it should be reported because it’s incredibly dangerous misinformation. It could kill cats. It could cause severe reactions in dogs. It is not a cure for anything. It’s a cause of an emergency vet trip.

If you’re getting medical advice on the internet, I have to question your judgment. If you’re giving medical advice on the internet, I have to question your morals. I can only speak about the animal ones because that’s my career field and I have an education in it. But it shouldn’t be done at all. Medical advice should be kept in medical offices. Where exams take place by doctors who went to school for a very long time to give that advice. The ability to write and to house an animal or even experience with a particular disease does not make you an expert on the subject. Many diseases have the exact same symptoms.

You could steer someone incorrectly and end up creating massive medical/veterinary bills for them for no reason. If you’re giving home remedies — you could have blood on your hands. And my question is why are you doing it in the first place? Write your experience. Not an education that you don’t have.

3. Don’t downplay the accomplishments of others to feel better about yourself.

Recently, I had a string of pieces that were boosted. And I was pretty excited about it. I mentioned it in an article I wrote that was about people complaining about a drop in earnings from August to September. One of the comments on that article stated that boosts were nothing more than a lottery or maybe I had captured the interest of someone who could boost pieces.

So basically, I got lucky. I don’t have skill or talent or a good story, I just won a lottery. Seven times in two months, but who’s counting? It doesn’t matter that I’m not even the type of person who is arrogant. In fact, I’m the exact opposite and quite insecure about my writing. That comment hurt me. And it took something that I viewed as an accomplishment for me and turned it into basically… nothing. It was luck. Or a single person who happens to enjoy my work.

The fact that the boosted articles were from different publications and some were boosted by Medium, not through nomination so it was not the same person repeatedly was not considered. When that was pointed out, it became about the unfairness of Medium choosing certain types of stories over others.

There is an actual list of the guidelines for how things get boosted that anyone can read, and nomination is not a guaranteed boost. But while I do think that Medium generally favors narratives (which is mostly what I write), that doesn’t mean my pieces were somehow lesser. And since most of what I write is based on deep and real trauma — calling it luck is even more insulting.

I’ll trade you my “luck” for your lack of trauma anytime.

If a fellow writer gets a boost, congratulate them and keep your sour grapes to yourself. I was offering my experience. Not advice — not really — just my experience and how I’ve grown on this platform. For that, I was slapped down and made to feel lesser by luck of a lottery or because I write in the genre Medium “favors”. As I said, I agree that narratives do better here but I don’t know that this rule holds true for every writer.

I’m far from the best writer on this platform. I have far fewer followers than many people, I earn less than many people, and sometimes publication editors will take me to task for the fast and loose games I play with grammatical structures. But why should my boosts be boiled down to a lottery because I achieved a lot of them in a short time? I was excited.

And then I wasn’t.

So maybe don’t do that to people.

4. Screenshots of earnings and marketing schemes should be banned.

I find those articles not only obnoxious as self-fulfilling prophecies but I think they’re incredibly misleading and should be reported as spam.

If you want to share your earnings, that’s your deal. I don't do it because I find it unsavory. But if you do it as a means of telling people how they can earn more money, I’d love to see you guarantee that. Because no two writers are exactly the same.

No one can write the pieces I write because I write about my life experience and you didn’t live my life. I can’t write articles about raising kids because I don’t have any of those. And maybe that’s where your money is coming from because parents read articles by other parents. So how can you tell me how to raise my earnings?

You can’t. You’re writing clickbait.

Marketing pieces are obnoxious. Plain and simple. If you’re selling something, create a website. This site is supposed to be for writers and readers. That’s why I joined it. To write. Not to boost my business. Sometimes I see the same people giving constant updates on their current earnings and I wonder why they’re wasting their writing time on that instead of writing something that will increase those numbers. It’s like opening a store and then instead of letting people shop — you tell them how much you sold yesterday.

I don’t understand it. Maybe it has its place here, maybe it’s a good way to earn money, or maybe it’s just a ploy. But whatever it is — I know I’m not alone in being utterly exasperated by its presence.

5. I don’t actually have a number five but it seemed like a good number for the title.

I genuinely believe list articles are things people make up as they go along and this is me making a point.

If it’s your own experience — cool write about that. But don’t give advice by numbers. It may have a place, but that place may be called Buzzfeed.

Actually, there are entire publications on this platform that were born of people who like to make lists. I get it, it’s popular, and it probably makes you money. But I leave you with two questions…

Are you right?

Are you sure?

If the answer to both isn’t yes and those affirmations aren’t universal… maybe it’s something you shouldn’t be doing.

Just a thought. You either hate me or love me right now. There’s a little devil emoji next to my name for a reason. I don’t write to be popular. But I’m always true to myself.

Are you?