5 Subtle Signs You’re Growing Into The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Become.

You’re doing better than you think

99% of growth is invisible.

You can’t see or hear growth. It’s hidden. But it’s still there. Like the roots of a tree growing undergrown. You could work for months without a visible sign you’ve grown. Then suddenly, you bloom.

Here are five subtle signs you’re growing (even if you don’t feel it).

#1: Skills you found hard 12 months ago, you find easy today.

Your life improves in proportion to your skillset.

Having more skills means you can solve more problems. Life is nothing but an iterative game of solving bigger and more complex problems.

12 months ago, I found ghostwriting and email marketing difficult.

Now I can do both of those things in my sleep.

• In my one-person business, I now charge a client $4.5k per month to ghostwrite their LinkedIn articles and manage their email marketing.
• In my 9–5 job, I set up an email newsletter in my 9–5 job in less than 2 hours and wrote the company’s weekly newsletter in 45 minutes.

My colleagues didn’t understand how I did it so quickly.

But what looks like magic on the surface is just layers of complementary skills. Earned through hours of effort and learning. Trial and error. Making mistakes. Failures.

You become good at any skill with 3–6 months of effort.

You won’t be world-class. But you could easily get into the top 25% of a skill. The best part? As you learn more skills, your ability to acquire new skills gets easier. It’s a learning flywheel.

Acquire skills at all costs (or die trying).

#2: You cringe at the person you were six months ago.

I cringe at myself all the time.

The decisions I made, the stories I wrote, and how I acted in certain situations. But that’s normal. If I didn’t cringe, it means I haven’t grown at all.

Think back to the person you were six months ago.

Do you cringe hard? If you do, congrats. You’re growing.

Growth is painful. Hard. You can never feel growth daily. It takes a lot of time to see progress, let alone feel it. But that feeling of daily discomfort means you’re growing.

Don’t avoid cringe, embrace it.

#3: You avoid avoiding.

You lean into difficult conversations.

My life improves in proportion to how many difficult conversations I have. Whether it’s with family, friends, or colleagues. I prioritize honesty over people’s feelings.

Avoidance keeps you stuck.

Every time I’ve avoided difficult conversations, resentment builds up. It’s like a poison.

The conversation I avoided the most?

The one I had to have with myself.

Sounds deep. But I distracted myself for too long before things started to break. My business almost failed. Relationships were on the rocks. And I was hurting those around me without knowing it.

Remember: Clear is kind.

#4: You start to compare yourself with yourself.

No one can compete with me.

Not because I’m the best in what I do, but because I am playing my own game. I have so much fun doing what I’m doing, I don’t care what others are doing.

I never plan to stop.

If your only motivation is competition, that gets old fast. It also means you’re outsourcing your motivation to someone else. That never ends well.

So play with yourself (let’s keep it PG).

I write to improve myself. I’m building a one-person business because it’s fun. I go to the gym for my mental health. I read books to further my knowledge.

If people want to compete with you, let them.

But you’re running your own race. You’re doing it for yourself. What they do or say has no bearing on your actions. And once they burn out, you’ll just keep doing what you’re doing.

Comparison is the theft of joy.

#5: You control friction

Friction is the invisible force that runs your life.

Just like gravity, friction determines whether a rock rolls down a hill or stays in place. And just like your goals, friction determines whether you achieve your goals or you don’t.

So what type of friction is there?

• Environmental friction — Does your environment support the goals you have? If you want to lose weight but keep junk food readily available, is that helping you?
• Social friction — Do the people you surround yourself with support you? Do they make snarky remarks about what you do? Do they give backhanded compliments?
• Mental friction — Do you have limiting beliefs about yourself? Do you struggle to put yourself out there? Does your mental health put you in a crippling state of depression for days?

Step one of growing into the person you want to become is removing or adding friction to align with your goals.

If you don’t control friction, it will control you.

Don’t get lost in the noise of growth.

Look out for these signals instead:

1. What feels easy now that you found hard 12 months ago?
2. What do you find cringe-worthy about yourself six months ago?
3. What do you confront now, that you used to avoid?
4. Who do you compare yourself to?
5. How do you manage the friction in your life?

You’re doing better than you think.

Every 3 months of growth you’re moving past 50% of the population.

Keep going. I believe in you.

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