HUMOUR

5 Story Titles Guaranteed to Get You Noticed

Feel free to use them in your own writing or flush them down the toilet

Crafting the perfect story begins with crafting the perfect title (unless you begin crafting it some other way). In any event, your title can mean the difference between success and failure.

I believe every writer deserves to have at least one story that’s either a success or a failure. And that means you, Dear Reader.

It might surprise you to know that before I was as successful as I am now, I was even less successful. When I was young, I used to be a complete failure, but now look at me — I’m no longer young!

There comes a time in every writer’s life when they feel the urge to pass on the wisdom of their mediocrity to anyone who’ll listen (usually just before the end of the month when the bills are almost due).

And so I’ve distilled all the knowledge I’ve gained over the last 20 minutes or more into 5 of the very best titles you’ll ever read on this page. And the best part is, Dear Reader, that you’re free to read them with your very own eyes… twice. Yes, TWICE!

But enough words! I know you’re not here to read words… So let’s cut to the chase! Here are 5 story titles guaranteed to get you noticed.*

(* The author makes no guarantee that using the term ‘guaranteed’ means that anything said (or not said) is guaranteed)

Title 1: 5 Signs You’re Full of S**t

Title 2: Useless Chat GPT Prompts That Will Completely Change the Way You Waste the Next 4 Minutes

Title 3: How to Make $10,000 a Month on Medium Writing Complete B*ll*cks

Title 4: This Simple Hack Will Provide Minimum Value for Maximum Profits

Title 5: I Inserted the Words ‘Spoiler Alert’ Into 100 Subtitles. Here’s What Happened

(Spoiler alert… F. All — that’s what happened)

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed reading this rubbish and that you’re a fully paid-up ‘Friend of Medium’ (those bills I mentioned). If you want to read more story titles that I made up, or maybe the same titles but with the words arranged in a different order, head on over to my Substack, where you can pay me more money for the same regurgitated nonsense.

Hope to see you there ;)

P.S. What titles would you like to see in my next article? Let me know in the comments below…