5 Steps to Rewrite Self-Limiting Beliefs and Set Yourself Free

You can change your brain for the better by becoming the author of your beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are negative beliefs we hold about ourselves or the things we desire which keep us from pursuing the lives we feel called to live. Sometimes these beliefs are so deeply ingrained in our subconscious that we don’t even notice they’re there. Other times, they stir on the surface, tormenting our minds with a soundtrack of “you can’t,” “you shouldn’t,” and “you never will.”

Always, self-limiting beliefs crush our creativity, murder our motivation, and poison our potential. Here’s the kicker. These beliefs aren’t even ours. They come from past experiences, comments by others, values of friends and family, and messages from the media, especially social media.

The first step to getting rid of self-limiting beliefs, and getting out of your own way, is to realize you are not your thoughts but the observer of your thoughts. The observer chooses the channel she tunes into, the ideas she entertains, and the beliefs she builds or buries.

If you agree that you can rewrite your beliefs, improving how you think, feel, and live in the process, here are five steps to help you do it.

Step 1: Identify an area of your life where you notice resistance to taking action or committing to a decision.

Resistance, especially counterintuitive resistance -putting off something you know you want to do — often indicates you have self-limiting beliefs.

For example, anyone who has been following my writing for a while may have noticed I have switched niches more than a few times. You could have chalked it up to me finding my voice or giving myself room for growth, but I know it has largely been due to certain beliefs about the world of self-help, a world I am very much drawn to.

When I started noticing a growing resistance to writing coupled with crippling indecisiveness, constantly swinging between thinking I’ve found my path and then doubting my decision, it became clear I had some self-limiting beliefs that were holding me back. I used the following four steps to overcome those hurdles.

Step 2: Write down every thought that comes to mind when you think about doing the thing you are resisting.

Once you acknowledge you have resistance, it’s time to figure out why. You can do this by writing every thought that comes to mind when thinking about the thing you are resisting. In my case, I kept it broad and wrote at the top of my page: “Beliefs I have about self-help.”

Without analyzing anything, I let the truth pour out: Self-help capitalizes on suffering. Anyone who writes self-help is a hypocrite; there’s no way they perfectly practice what they preach. It’s embarassing. What if I get it wrong and end up hurting someone instead of helping.

As you do this, try and resist the natural urge to label your beliefs as right or wrong. First, let your thoughts flow; next, you will go over them for a deeper understanding.

Step 3: Go over each belief and ask yourself where it came from and if it rings true.

As previously mentioned, many thoughts running through our heads aren’t ours but the noise we have picked up from people in our lives or online and the experiences we have endured.

You may even be shocked by some of the degrading thoughts you have about yourself or the things you enjoy, but it’s helpful to have it all out on paper. Seeing your inner dialogue written down will help you see through the thoughts that don’t genuinely resonate with you.

You want to be specific here, naming where and when you latched onto each belief if you can. For example, “Self-help capitalizes on suffering” was a statement I came across online attributing selfish motivations to motivational writers and speakers. And the belief that self-help is embarrassing came from growing up in a culture that associated vulnerability with weakness and suppressing emotions with strength.

Once you identify where a belief came from, you recognize there was a time before you had that belief, and if there was a before, there can also be an after. Some part of you must believe whatever you wrote on that page, but the more you dig into why, the more you will start to see a difference between what you have heard is true and what you know to be true.

When you tune into your inner knowing, you bypass the part of the brain that has been conditioned to think differently. From there, you can begin the process of changing your own mind.

Step 4: Rewrite every belief that does not help you become the person you want to be.

This step is where the fun begins. After you have excavated the weeds, it’s time to sprinkle new seeds. You do this by rewriting every old belief into a new one, not in a way where you feel like you are lying to yourself, but considering a new perspective.

“Self-help capitalizes on suffering” became “Self-help cultivates healing.”

“There’s no way self-help writers perfectly practice what they preach” became “Falling short of perfection doesn’t mean you can’t teach.”

And “What if I get it wrong and end up hurting someone instead of helping” became “Everyone gets it wrong sometimes but I will help more than I hurt.”

None of these new statements are dishonest. They are only a more hopeful take on my doubts and fears, inspiring me to do what I can instead of running from what I can’t.

There are two sides to every story and infinite ways to look at the world and your life. I hope you choose to believe in the things that will make you a better you.

Step 5: Catch yourself red-handed (or should I say minded).

I wish I could tell you this exercise is a one-and-done ticket to inner freedom. It’s not.

Chances are, the beliefs you have today have been with you for a long time. As Donald Hebb first said, “Neurons that fire together wire together.”

Like rehearsing for a performance, the more you repeat an experience — including thoughts, feelings, or behaviors — the more efficiently your brain can execute it.

You can change your brain for the better or worse based on what you repeatedly think and do. Like mastering any other skill, building a more positive personality is a practice and rewriting self-limiting beliefs is a ritual.

In this transition process, the best thing you can do is catch yourself engaging with any thought that aligns with an old belief and remind yourself of what you decided during this exercise. The greater the repetition, the greater the reward.

Change is life’s most natural element, yet it can feel impossible at times. When we believe we have no control over our beliefs, we fall into the trap of thinking we have no control over our lives. This is called learned helplessness, and it manifests as the loss of your personal power.

You can’t change unless you believe you are capable of change. You won’t move forward until you realize you are responsible for taking that first step.

Our beliefs become the basis of our state of being, and our state of being translates into who we are and who we will become. Success, happiness, love, freedom, and peace aren’t things you get but experiences you embody. The moment you believe you can become a better you is the moment you already are.

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