5 Steps to Designing the Life YOU Want
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It’s about this one life you get to live. Pretty huge topic, right? Well, I don’t know about you, but I can’t help wondering…
Are you truly satisfied with how yours is going so far?
Maybe that question hits a little too close to home. Or maybe it’s something you’ve been grappling with for a while now. Either way, I hear you. Figuring out how to craft a life that feels genuinely fulfilling — one you want to live daily — is no easy task.
Sure, some people seem to have it all figured out from the get-go. You know the type: straight-A students who become high-powered leaders or renowned experts before hitting 30. But for most of us, finding that sweet spot of purpose and passion is an ongoing journey riddled with detours.
In fact, a 2022 Pew Research survey found that only 36% of Americans view their current job or career path as a calling or life’s pursuit. Think about that — almost two-thirds feel at least somewhat adrift in their life’s direction!
So if you’ve felt lost, confused, or just plain “bleh” about your circumstances lately, you’re hardly alone.
It’s called design thinking — an innovative methodology typically used for developing products and services. But as we’ll explore, this flexible framework can be adapted to help reshape your whole dang life too.
Step 1: Rediscover Your “Why”
Think back to when you were a kid. Remember how every new experience, every unanswered “why,” every little mystery was an exciting opportunity to explore? You wanted to soak up as much knowledge about the world as possible.
“Why is the sky blue”
“Where do we go when we die?”
Then somewhere along the way, that childlike curiosity started fading for most of us. All the demands of “growing up” overshadowed our sense of wonder about life.
So for this first phase, give yourself permission to wonder again! Make a list of anything and everything that piques your curiosity these days. It can be anything from…
- “I’m curious about what it’s really like to live in a tiny home.”
- “I wonder how this emerging technology might disrupt my industry?”
- “What would happen if I learned an entirely new skill?”
Don’t censor yourself — just observe where your interests start to wander. Because those curiosities could become the breadcrumbs leading you towards a more purposeful path.
Step 2: Reframe Your Problems
Okay, so now you’ve got an inkling of what intrigues you lately. Time to take a hard look at any issues currently dulling your luster for life.
But here’s the catch: We tend to narrow in on surface-level gripes about our circumstances way too quickly.
Think about it…how often have you caught yourself just venting:
“I hate my job!”
“My boss is a nightmare!”
“This daily grind is so draining!”
Venting can be cathartic, but it rarely gets to the deeper roots of our dissatisfaction. It’s like dunking a water bucket in the ocean to empty it. Sure, you might remove some water — but the bucket will just refill constantly unless you address the real source: the whole freaking ocean!
This is where reframing comes in. Instead of echoing common complaints, dig below the surface by asking yourself:
“What is the core issue making me unhappy here?”
“What unmet need or value is being neglected?”
For example, you might reframe:
“I hate my job” ➡️ “I crave more autonomy, creativity, and a sense of purpose in my work.”
See the difference? That newly reframed lens can illuminate constructive solutions — whereas just rehashing “I hate my job” likely will not.
According to psychology research, solution-focused reframing like this can provide a radical perspective shift. It’s what allows designers, entrepreneurs, and other innovators to spot problems as opportunities in disguise.
Grab a notebook, vent if you need to first, then start reframing your biggest gripes as questions about what you really want instead.
Step 3: Ideate in Multitudes
Dream up at least three wildly different versions for how your life could look.
Yes, you read that right…three different potential paths. Because as exciting as it can be to brainstorm one ideal life vision, that approach is actually selling yourself short.
Think about it: You contain infinite potentials within you. So why not imagine multiple ways those could possibly play out?
For example, you could start by envisioning:
Path 1 — Where you optimize and “level up” your current situation as much as possible. What would an absolute peak version of your job, relationships, hobbies, or lifestyle look like?
Path 2 — Where you take a completely different unexpected pivot that realizes one of your unexplored curiosities or passions. What if you finally pursued that business idea, traveled the world, or mastered a coveted skill?
Path 3 — This is your “wildcard” path! Get unabashedly creative and bold here. Want to become a digital nomad? Ditch it all to join a cause you believe in? Sky’s the limit!
According to Harvard research, being exposed to just one additional viable option can dramatically enhance decision-making skills and life satisfaction. Imagining three paths is like triple mind nutrition!
Step 4: Prototype to Peak Interest
No, I’m not suggesting you drop everything and immediately start living out your digital nomad dream. Yet.
Prototyping simply means creating bite-sized, commitment-free experiments to get a sneak peek at what a given path might really feel like. It’s your chance to gather real-world feedback and impressions.
After all, our imaginations can sometimes convince us an idea is awesome…until we actually experience the nitty-gritty reality. That’s why designers put their ideas through rounds of prototyping before going all-in.
Your “prototype” can take all sorts of creative forms, such as:
- Having conversations with people already living versions of the paths you’ve envisioned. Get the inside scoop straight from the first-hand source!
- Taking a starter class or attending local meetups related to a new interest you want to explore more deeply.
- Trying on a role or lifestyle through temporary gigs, like “job shadowing” or deliberately scheduling pockets of “preview living” however you can.
The sky’s the limit for how you set up these explorations! Just get out from behind the hypotheticals and start collecting real-life experiences.
That way, you can start separating the paths that honestly intrigue you from those that maybe weren’t such a perfect fit after all.
But a quick word of advice:
If you encounter any early roadblocks or disappointing data points, don’t quit immediately. That’s just your prototype teaching you what refinements you may need to make should you continue down that path.
Step 5: Make Your Choice (Then Actually Choose It)
No life path will ever be 100% unicorn-and-rainbows perfect. Even people doing what they love deal with challenges, frustrations, and periods of uncertainty.
So if you’re waiting for crystal-clear, confidence-boosted “THIS IS IT!” vibes before choosing…that’ll likely never happen. At least not in the way our perfectionist minds envision.
Instead, expect a little rumbling in your gut as you make your choice. That’s just your intuition’s way of confirming whether this decision resonates with you deep down.
If you’ve followed the previous steps with an open mind, you’ve essentially created a “choice menu” built from:
- Your innate curiosities
- Your reframed needs/values
- Your imaginative scenario testing
Now it’s time to review all those “data points” as objectively as you can. Which path most consistently:
- Stokes your curiosity and passion?
- Best addresses your reframed wants and needs?
- Passed the “real world” prototype tests in an exciting way?
When you tally up the evidence, one path will likely emerge as the clear front-runner — even if it’s not flawless.
Once you make your choice…actually choose it.
Don’t keep swimming in indecision or mulling over the paths not taken ad nauseam. Research shows that kind of paralysis-by-analysis severely undercuts your ability to feel satisfied long-term.
According to psychological studies, the mere act of choosing can provide a huge motivational boost and self-esteem spike. We’re wired to feel empowered by sticking to a chosen path.
So choose with gut-level conviction, get excited about your choice, and prepare to fully commit! The challenges and doubts that inevitably arise? Just see them as new opportunities to prototype refinements along the way.
Because at this point, you’re officially living your intentionally designed life. Not someone else’s dream, script, or expectation. Yours.
And that’s about as wildly freeing and purposeful as any life can get.
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