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Abstract

ow would things sound if I stopped thinking?</li></ul><h2 id="9fa8">Somatic Field</h2><ul><li>Which part of my body is the least comfortable?</li><li>Which parts of my body are hardest to detect?</li><li>What happens when I concentrate on two body parts at once?</li><li>Do any bad emotions arise during the body scan?</li><li>How would my body change if I stopped thinking about it?</li></ul><h2 id="778a">Taste Field</h2><ul><li>Does the taste change as I roll it around my tongue?</li><li>How does the intensity compare with other things I have tasted?</li><li>How would it taste if I had never smelled it?</li><li>Does my feeling about the taste change between first contact and swallow?</li><li>How would it taste if I were asleep right now?</li></ul><h2 id="a87c">Olfactory Field</h2><ul><li>Would I recognize the smell if I had not seen it?</li><li>What adjectives are suitable? (Smooth? Bold? Sweet? Floral?)</li><li>How close must it come to me before my nose can detect it?</li><li>Does it improve my mood or worsen it?</li><li>What memories does it bring to mind?</li></ul><h2 id="5631">Cognitive Field</h2><ul><li>If my thoughts were rabbits in a yard, how crowded would the yard be?</li><li>If my attention was a dog, which rabbits would it chase?</li><li>How much of my focus three seconds ago was on the past?</li><li>How does a little circle make me feel?</li><li>What would I be dreaming now if I were not awake?</

Options

li></ul><h2 id="9690">Emotional Field</h2><ul><li>How easy or hard is it to turn each feeling on and off?</li><li>What changes will happen when I start to pray?</li><li>If I were the prow of a ship would my sea be bright under the sun?</li><li>Who have I shared this suffering with?</li><li>How deeply do I love you?</li></ul><figure id="ef74"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*31vXTbzWPAdDxN72iuu31w.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by Author | Dancing with the Goddess</figcaption></figure><h2 id="1f17">Questions After the Scans are All Finished</h2><ul><li>Did I close my eyes for most of the scans?</li><li>In what ways are mental fields like maps?</li><li>If I were only allowed to keep one field, which one would I choose?</li></ul><h1 id="010c">Note</h1><p id="4022">To the best of my recollection, all the questions are in my own words. If I copied anybody from unconscious memory it was probably my first remote meditation teacher, <a href="https://www.thegreatcourses.com/professors/mark-w-muesse/">Mark Muesse</a>, a Therevada practitioner from Texas.</p><h1 id="d3c3">About the Author</h1><p id="f104">Tom spends his workdays asking people in a big store if they would like any information about heating and cooling. He often wears an Indiana Jones hat. A grapevine in his front yard convinced him to let her live and to even provide her with a little support. That’s all. :)</p></article></body>

5 Steps to Break Down Your Insecurities

A reminder from my two-year-old

I watch with fascination as my two-year-old sways his hips, trying to move to the rhythm of the song. His face fills with joy from the upbeat sounds then he turns to me, reaches for my hand and says “dance mama.” It is only he and I in the room but my first instinct is to decline his invitation because of the fear of looking ridiculous with my dance steps. I quickly shove my insecurities aside and join my son as we dance to his new favourite soundtrack, Butter by BTS. Moving as freely as he is and mimicking his carefree motions is so liberating. Not worrying if I am doing it right and just moving without a care in the world. This is when I realize my two-year-old just taught me a lesson about insecurities.

Wouldn’t it be nice to act without so much inhibition? To follow the rhythm of life and move in ways that spark joy?

However, as we grow up and start to perceive what is happening around us we start to form insecurities because of fear. Fear of being judged, of being different, and of being wrong. The thing is, we are just learning and finding ourselves so it is inevitable that we will make mistakes and we will be different from others. It is how others react to us as we find our way through life that triggers these insecurities. As adults we now have to peel back those layers of hurt so we can get back to our carefree dancing selves.

These five steps are what has helped me through my journey of self-worth:

1. Identify the insecurities

It’s important to be honest with ourselves. It helps to write it out. It is only you and the page, there is no judgement in this space so label all your insecurities and issues you need to confront. During this process, know that these labels do not define you. They are merely habits or thoughts that we believed over the years that is influencing our present lives.

I write more on the dangers of labels here,

3 reasons labels limit our potential

Labels are lies that are holding us back from living our best life.

medium.com

As I did this exercise, I identified that one of the effects my insecurities caused me to have is pride. I sometimes have a ‘know-it-all’ complex and tend to create judgements on people or circumstances. This leads to me being guarded as I don’t want to appear vulnerable or unworthy with fear of being judged. The consequence of this is not being able to create authentic relationships because of the wall I put up between myself and others. Another consequence is that I tend to set high expectations for the people I love.

2. Figure out where this insecurity came from

We weren’t born with insecurities. Insecurities were born through our experiences. We come into this world with a clean slate and it’s as we grow older that we learn the ideas of doubt, hatred, anger, jealousy, ego, etc. So during this stage, we need to figure out the root of how and why we started to believe our insecurities. This may require digging deep into our past and examining how this issue surfaced.

I believe the root of my insecurities comes from being the youngest child and my twisted idea of having to prove I was better. It also comes from always feeling a little different than those closest to me. The isolation led me to build a wall against others which made it difficult to create vulnerability in my relationships.

During my daily reads of Medium articles, I stumbled on Janice Eastman’s story, she identified her insecurities stemming from the abandonment of her parents.

“I felt like I was the only person in the world who did not have parents, and I often tried to make myself go unseen and unheard.”

In her story, she shares her struggles as a child and how she overcomes them in Cutting Through Chains of My Past.

3. Make peace with it

Insecurities are buried wounds we try to hide under the persona we present to the world. By making peace and accepting our insecurities we can rip off the band-aid, open the wound and start allowing it to heal. Do this with compassion as you begin to take care of yourself. Peel off the layers that will allow you to reveal your most beautiful self.

My insecurities do not define me.

This took me a while to accept as I needed to destroy the labels I put on myself. Once I made peace with my insecurities I was able to change my perception and not associate my pride as being negative or positive. It was just a wound that needed healing and I was able to separate myself from it.

4. Understand the triggers

Believing something for so many years needs just as much time to unlearn. The good news is we now know what the issue is and where it stems from. This will enable us to identify when this insecurity shows up and understand the circumstances in our lives that trigger these insecurities. When those triggers present themselves, we are able to take a step back and re-evaluate our reaction to the situation.

“When we heal the wounds of our past, we move forward into our lives with an unburdened sense of self and a higher awareness of what our own triggers are.” — Athena Laz

5. Set an intention to overcome the insecurity

Finally, set a tangible and realistic goal on how you can overcome your insecurities. This could be seeking a therapist, journaling, opening up to a friend, or confronting someone who hurt you. Ask yourself why is it important to overcome this and what changes do you want to see in your life? Be intentional with the process of healing.

For me, it’s a part of my personal development journey. But most importantly, my ‘why’ stems from wanting to heal my wounds to be a better person for my children and my husband. I want to cultivate better relationships by allowing myself to be more vulnerable and open to others.

We owe it to ourselves to shed the pains of the past. The people we love deserve our best selves. But most importantly, you deserve your best self.

The one who is both liberated from fear and liberated by love.