5 Solutions Oriented Questions
Whenever faced with any kind of challenge
#1: What is the opportunity of this challenge?
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty
— Winston Churchill
Let’s have it straight: there is nothing great about a challenge at first encounter. It is uncomfortable and one would rather not have it.
Usually with some patience towards self (self-compassion) and the situation, one can start to see above the non-constructive perspectives.
Few months ago while in the process of reevaluating some relationships, I could not deny the pain resulting from the thought of letting go, even though I was aware and knew that letting go was the healthy way.
Switching perspectives, I started seeing the room I would be doing for a deeper discovery of my own self and what I was made of. I also saw the freed room for more meaningful, nourishing relationships in the future. We all want relationships to be that way don’t we? Healthy and uplifting. If not that way what’s the point of cultivating and investing precious time into them? I believe life is way too short to cultivate draining and meaningless relationships. I am now of those who believe that “It’s better to be alone than in “bad” company”.
#2: What isn’t great yet?
This question allows one to acknowledge what is to be improved at the core of the issue.
Sure I saw how the relationships decluttering would be be beneficial and healthy for me. But as long as I didn’t put a name into the triggers that made me open myself to those relationships in the first place.. same patterns would occur in the future. So figuring out the root of my behaviour towards others was the field to explore and be aware of. Figuring out that I was superficial, impatient on top of being a people pleaser made the path a bit clearer for the way forward. Because until you haven’t put a name on the real deep issue you cannot sustainably solve it. You can only delay collateral damages…
#3: What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
Going through an uncomfortable period does not mean one needs to feel powerless and defeated. There’s often at least one thing one can manage to do to make that period a little bit peaceful and serene for the time that it lasts.
In my example above about relationships decluttering, I recognised that I still had some healthy relationships remaining, focusing and staying in touch with them allowed me to have a part of it the way I wanted it despite all. Enjoying the freed time and energy to focus on my own wellness and care was also a way to stay sane and empowered.
#4: What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?
This question allows one to recognise one’s mistakes into approaching the challenge. One can then stop going down that path and instead focus onto new strategies.
In my example I understood that there was no point of reflecting further on my choices. I stopped over analysing the pros and cons.
#5: How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?
This question leads one into focusing on one’s wellness while doing what needs to be done in order to align with one’s desires/goals.
- Being in the moment, enjoying the love and support of my loved ones remaining was a great way I did / still do it.
- Focusing on what makes me joyful, useful and grateful is another way: writing, being in the woods, dancing being some of them.
- Being chill, serene and believing that all will turn out just fine.
Work in progress, to be continued…
Until next time my dear reader, take good care of you. Be and stay blessed.
One love 💜
Source of inspiration: “Awaken the giant within” — Tony Robbins + Personal Experience