5 Simple Tips For Better Decisions
Follow these 5 tips that will help you make the right decisions
We make many decisions every day.
Most of them are relatively unimportant. Like, for example, whether we use lavender or rosemary shampoo.
But now and then we have to make difficult decisions that can have a significant impact on our lives:
- Should I quit my secure job to do something I enjoy more?
- Should I leave my partner or can we still save our relationship?
- Should I have a child or should I wait for it?
- Should I really get a tattoo?
- Should I invest my saved money in bitcoins?
What are decisions anyway?
Many people are very afraid of making decisions. Especially when they have to make tough decisions. This leads to them shirking decisions like a third-grader shirking homework.
But what’s the thought behind all this?
“As long as I don’t make up my mind, I can’t go wrong.”
Do you feel the same way?
Then make yourself aware of that
No decision is a decision either!
Yes, you read that right. You can’t make up your mind.
No matter how much you want to avoid a decision, you cannot hide from it. No, not even if you cover your ears, close your eyes, and sing out loud LALALALALA.
Grow up!
People who cannot make up their minds are often afraid of responsibility. Growing up implies making clear choices and accepting the consequences. You cannot look to the future. No matter how you go about it, you will always make mistakes and make wrong decisions.
But that’s always better than running away from life. For example, in 2013 I decided to quit my former job and study computer engineering. It was one of the most difficult and ultimately best decisions of my life.
At the time, of course, I didn’t know whether I had made the right decision. Nevertheless, at that time I made a clear decision instead of running away.
Make a decision!
Not making up your mind and being permanently undecided robs you of a lot of energy, focus, and clarity.
- Is your relationship not going well?
- Are you dissatisfied with your job?
- Are you considering moving into a new apartment?
Make a decision instead of fooling around forever. That means being an adult and taking responsibility.
Better a wrong decision than no decision at all! This brings me to the next point.
There is no wrong decision
Of course, there are stupid decisions like
- Drunk driving a car.
- To marry someone even though you do not love them.
- Wear sandals and socks at the same time.
- Having unprotected sex with a stranger.
- Smoking while knowing that it’s gonna kill you someday
But there are no wrong decisions at all. Let me explain to you why…
The moment we make up our minds, we believe we are making the right choice. After all, nobody would choose the wrong alternative if they knew beforehand that it was the wrong alternative.
So a decision can turn out to be wrong, but the moment we make it we believe it is the right one!
Which decision is the right one?
Simply, you don’t know!
A decision can turn out to be wrong in retrospect. But the moment we make up our minds, it appears to be the best option.
Therefore, if a decision turns out to be wrong in retrospect, you should be ready to accept its consequences. After all, you can’t look to the future!
The evaluation of decisions is often not possible at all
Another point is that it is difficult for us to judge whether our choice is really wrong.
Imagine that you have to choose between two employers:
- A big company with good career opportunities.
- A smaller company, with flat hierarchies and a lot of flexibility.
You choose the bigger company. But you don’t like the tasks and your colleagues are annoying. In short, you are dissatisfied with your decision and regret it.
You are probably now imagining that the smaller company would have been a better choice. But the thing is that you have no way of knowing whether the small company would really have been a better choice.
Maybe you would be even more dissatisfied in the small company than in the big one.
From the moment you made up your mind, stand by it and accept the consequences.
You can neither see into the future nor do you know whether the other alternative would really have been the better choice.
So, here are some tips that will help you in the whole decision procedure
1. Save your willpower for important decisions
What very few people know is that every decision costs us willpower. The more decisions you make a day, the less willpower you have available.
In addition, things like sleep, nutrition, time of day, and stress have a massive impact on our willpower. The more tired, hungry, and stressed you are, the less willpower you have and the more difficult it is for you to make a good decision.
For this reason, even controlled and rational people sometimes make “stupid” decisions. Their willpower was used up at that moment.
Save your willpower for the really important decisions
Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg always wears the same gray t-shirt? And that Steve Jobs always wore black turtlenecks?
I bet that most of you haven’t even noticed that! There is an explanation behind this (which by the way might be just an assumption) which is
Since you always wear the same thing, you don’t have to make new decisions every day and thus save willpower for really important decisions.
Is that a bit extreme? Secure!
But it is also true that we now have an abundance of everything. If you have to choose between 17 outfits, 6 jams, and 3 different types of coffee in the morning, you are wasting a lot of decision-making power.
So limit your choices.
For example, I’ve been eating a large salad almost every lunchtime for over 5 years. It fills me up, it’s healthy and I don’t have to think about what to eat every day.
And if you have an important decision to make do it when you are rested, well-rested, and full. If necessary, wait a day or two, rested, before making this decision.
2. Find out more about head and heart decisions
After Elliot Smith was operated on from the brain for a tumor the size of mandarin orange in 1982, the man was unable to make up his mind.
For example, if Elliot had a blue and black pen to choose from, he was unable to write because he couldn’t choose either color. Elliot was still able to think logically and his intelligence quotient was unchanged, but he had become unfit for everyday life.
Neurologist Antonio Damasio examined Elliot and concluded that Elliot was unable to feel. Elliot felt no more emotions. And that was the reason he couldn’t make up his mind. Elliot was unable to make up his mind because everything felt the same to him.
After further investigations on similar patients, a revolutionary finding was made
People who feel nothing cannot make up their minds.
That discovery was groundbreaking because up to this point in science was convinced that humans make rational decisions.
There are no purely rational decisions
Nobody can make 100% rational decisions. Because
Every decision is an interplay between understanding and feeling.
However, we can listen more to our heads or more to our feelings. And what is better depends on the situation.
There are situations where we should rather weigh up rationally. This is the case if, for example, there are clear facts (car purchase) or we can objectively compare the alternatives.
Professional poker players regularly win because they make largely rational decisions and rely on stochastic and logic rather than gut feeling.
But there are also situations where you should make decisions with your heart or rely on your gut instinct.
How do you make a difficult decision? With heart and head!
Studies have shown that we are surprisingly often right on complex and confusing matters with gut decisions. So don’t be afraid to listen to your intuition and your inner voice more often. That is wiser, especially when it comes to difficult decisions.
At the same time, you should of course also rationally compare the advantages and disadvantages of your alternatives. As my father used to say:
“Mind without feeling is inhuman, feeling without mind is stupidity.”
3. Make better decisions by writing down advantages and disadvantages
As just explained, every decision is rational and emotional. This means that decisions are often complex. In some situations, there is also the fact that we are not only comparing two alternatives but several.
With all of these parameters, it’s difficult to keep track of things. What leads to more clarity is a simple weighing of the advantages and disadvantages on a piece of paper.
Let’s assume that you want to move and have three options: New York, Los Angeles, and Houston. Then write the three cities side by side on a piece of paper and then list the advantages and disadvantages of each.
This is a very simple trick, but in many cases, it leads to a lot of clarity.
4. Orientate yourself to others to make a better decision
With every decision we make, we try to improve our lives. So when we choose, we imagine how we are going to feel (because of this, people who feel nothing cannot decide either).
For example, if we are to decide on a partner, a job, or a place of residence, we imagine how it will feel when this happens. We imagine what it feels like to be with Mary instead of Jane, to live in New York instead of Los Angeles, or to be a lawyer instead of a yoga teacher.
We are trying to figure out which decision will make us happier. Ok, that’s not bad. But now arises one more problem.
Our brain is unable to imagine the future in all its details.
Our vision of the future is limited and that often leads to the fact that we simply misjudge what makes us happy.
- Have you moved into a new, super chic apartment?
- Did you finally get the promotion you worked so hard for two years?
- After long deliberation, did you buy your brand new rose-colored iPhone?
I hate to be a spoilsport, but it’s most likely that these things won’t make you any happier in the long run. Hard realization, I know, but someone has to tell you that.
How do I make the right decision? Orientate yourself to others!
So if we generally have poor assessments of what makes us happy, how can we make the right choice? Psychologists advise orienting oneself towards other people.
It seems that other people’s experiences can give us a more accurate picture of the future and perceived happiness than our own imagination.
Whimsical, I know.
For example, if you want to have children but are still not entirely sure, it makes more sense to talk to other parents about their experiences rather than relying on your imagination.
It is similar when changing jobs, moving house, or buying a car. Instead of relying on your lack of imagination of the future, ask people who have the job, who already live there, or who own the car.
The experience of others can help you tremendously in making better decisions. So don’t be too proud to ask other people’s opinions.
5. Make decisions more often
Like so much in life, decisions are also a matter of practice. The more often and the more decisions you make, the better you get at it. Especially when it comes to important decisions in life.
You better assess what the possible consequences of your choice are, what makes you happy, and how to avoid stupid decisions. So
Learn not to brood endlessly and instead make faster decisions.
Most of your decisions are unimportant anyway. It doesn’t matter whether you drive a Mazda or a Honda, wear a blue or red blouse, or go on vacation to Spain or Greece.
And the better and faster you make small decisions, the better you will get at the really important decisions in life.
You will never be able to completely avoid mistakes
No matter how you go about it, you can’t always make the right decision. Mistakes are part of life. We can neither look into the future nor are we perfect beings. That’s OK. You can learn something from every mistake and do better next time.
Also, realize that you don’t have to follow one decision for the rest of your life. If you don’t like a chosen path, if it doesn’t make you happy, or even harm you, then choose another.
But stop running away from decisions. Because that’s the worst of all decisions.
Read every story from Antonis Iliakis (and thousands of other writers on Medium). Your membership fee directly supports Antonis Iliakis and other writers you read. You’ll also get full access to every story on Medium. Become a member: https://antonisiliakis.medium.com/membership