5 Signs That You Are a Highly Resilient Person
Change is a constant in life; how you respond to it makes all the difference
In life, change is inevitable.
Sometimes it’s intentional, and sometimes it catches us completely off guard, and we have no other choice but to accept it.
Too bad many of us don’t.
“Healthy systems don’t try to resist change. Rather, they adapt to it, moving forward with grace and grit.” — Brad Stulberg, Master of Change
Here are 5 signs that prove you are able to move through change with grace and grit and work with it to arrive at a new, favorable, place.
1/ You have a non-dual approach to most things in life
Life is not black and white, and despite what you might have been told, two opposite things can be true at the same time.
It’s not “this or that” but “this and that”.
I see it all the time in parenthood but also in business. A problem can also be an opportunity. A failure can also be a win. Something deeply annoying can be an incredible chance for growth and healing.
As the Zen philosophies teach us, an event is neither good nor bad in and of itself. Our perception of it, and what we make of it, will define its quality.
2/ You don’t pick up useless fights
Trying to convince other people of your point of view, or not accepting to hear anything that contradicts your own ideas, as well as getting offended when things or people don’t meet your expectations are all signs of an inflexible mindset.
Fighting something or someone means giving our attention and energy to it. Resilient people don’t waste their energy arguing with strangers on social media, with douches in line at the supermarket, or with grumpy busy men for parking spots.
There’s a lot of maturity in being able to prioritize your peace of mind over being right and preserve your energy for more productive and joyful endeavors.
3/ Your thinking is outcome-led
Being able to let go of rigid rules, definitions, and labels that have defined you in the past is a huge component of being a resilient person.
Who we are is in constant change, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And what was true two years ago might not be our truth today.
When you don’t get attached to a rigid idea of how things should be and accept that we’re fluid beings in constant change, you become able to move your focus from what’s keeping you stuck and point it toward a better future. You’re able to tell what serves your vision and what doesn’t, let go of the latter more easily, and place your efforts on the creating rather than fighting.
I call this evolving ✌️
4/ You are comfortable with uncertainty
Nothing in life is constant, everything is in perpetual change — including you.
Among the many things the pandemic taught us, this one is for sure a lesson everyone learned: everything can change in the blink of an eye.
Clinging onto what you have, or used to have, means pointing your attention to the past instead of being grounded in the present and focused on your future.
Acknowledging that you can’t control what you can’t control is key to developing strong, long-lasting resilience.
5/ You place your focus on what you are, as opposed to what you have
You can lose your cushy job, your startup can fail, and your partner can dump you.
Identifying yourself with what you have is a dangerous game. Everything you think you own can be gone in a moment and leave you with an identity void that’s going to be hard to fill.
What you are at your core, though, that’s yours to keep (and develop).
Your Values, your skills, your passions, your way of showing up in the world: no one can ever take these away from you. And armed with a profound self-awareness you can rebuild the life of your dreams over and over again.
Resilience is what allows you to move toward your goals with ease and “in spite” (or, better said “with”) whatever else is going on in your life. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control what we do with it.
Focus on becoming resilient and you won’t ever have to fear, avoid, or fight, change again.
As Bruce Lee said, Be like water — right?