5 Secrets to Get Through Valentine’s Day if You’re Single
How to be single and happy. Hint: it’s possible.
Valentine’s Day is around the corner!
“Oh, no! I have no date, but I don’t want to be by myself.”
You’ve tried everything. And still, there’s no date in sight.
Does it sound familiar?
I wanted to enjoy a Valentine’s Day complete with soft music, a box of fancy chocolates, and a romantic candlelit dinner. But instead, I was sad because I had no date and stayed at home while everybody else was out having a good time.
Isn’t that the moment we become desperate?
I would have said to almost anyone, “Don’t make me whine, be my valentine.”
Being single in our thirties or forties is hard. But there are many ways to find joy in our single season.
There’s no reason to become frustrated because you’ve not find your Valentine’s date yet.
Let me give you five secrets that will get you through Valentine’s Day being single.
Secret #1: Go Out With Friends Instead
One Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago, two friends and I decided to have a singles’ Valentine’s dinner.
Instead of staying home and thinking about how nice it would be to have a date, we came up with a great alternative: not a pity party but a real party.
Did we have a good time?
You bet.
Kelly invited us to her home, where we cooked a delicious dinner together. Chris brought her flowers and explained he had no intention of hitting on her. The flowers were simply a gift to say, “You’re a great single person and a great friend.”
We had a great time that evening. We had many interesting discussions about our projects at work, the dream destinations for our next vacations, and design ideas for our future homes. Chris made us all laugh by quoting funny lines from classic movies and our favorite radio comedy show.
In no time, I forgot about being single and was glad I hadn’t stayed home alone.
Over the years, I have found many other ways to thrive in my season of being single.
There is no reason to stay home alone and play a pity party on Valentine’s Day.
Secret #2: Realize That You’re Not Weird
The best way I’ve found to encounter happiness was to stop believing that anything was wrong with me.
We often can’t change our circumstances. But we can change the way we think about them.
Let me tell you upfront, “You are normal!” Nothing is wrong with you because you are still single.
By saying, “I’m normal,” I am not trying to justify my behavior and choices. I mean that, like the many sublime singles I’ve met throughout my life, I am not weird just because I’m single.
You are not weird because you are single. And you’re not a failure if you have not managed to find a Valentine’s date.
No relationship status defines whether you are weird, conventional, brilliant, or any other attribute you would like to add.
We all have issues. I do, you do, and married people do, too.
But please understand that nothing is wrong with us simply because we are single.
Never forget you are normal.
You are more than normal; you are unique, or even extraordinary.
And that is the clarity I wish for you: that you know you are a great person.
You have jaw-dropping gifts, impressive dreams, and a determination to be the best self you can be.
Never buy into the myth that you are weird just because you have not yet met your Princess or Prince Charming. It’s a lie.
You are awesome.
Changing my wrong belief opened the door to happiness as a single.
I invite you to encourage singles around you. Let them know that they are fantastic. A few encouraging words will make their day: “You are a great person. Nothing is wrong with you!”
Secret #3: Talk to a Stranger
On a business trip to San Francisco, I went out for dinner in a Mexican restaurant.
As I was reading a book, waiting for my food to arrive, I spotted a woman sitting alone at the end of the bar and thought, “Why don’t I invite her to sit with me?” figuring she might be on a business trip and feeling lonely, too.
I introduced myself to her, asked her to join me, and then returned to my table, unsure whether or not she would accept my invitation.
She did, saying my generous offer had moved her. We enjoyed a captivating conversation along with our meals.
I seldom talked to strangers, but after that encounter, I resolved to do it more.
You never know what doors these random conversations can open.
You may have an entertaining Valentine’s Day dinner together.
And the stranger you are talking to may introduce you to one of their friends who becomes your future spouse.
Or perhaps one day, you write your most beautiful love story with the person you met at a Mexican restaurant in the Bay Area.
Who knows?
Secret #4: Organize an Online Hangout
When the pandemic hit, I found a new meaningful way to connect with other singles through videoconferencing.
I had this idea to launch an online hangout.
At first, I was afraid to launch it myself because I wasn’t sure I could do it well. I worried, “Will people like it? Can I engage them in an open and proactive conversation? Will I find it weird to connect with people I’ve never met in person?”
But eventually, I did start up a virtual hangout and, after our first session, we all concluded it was a success and that we would meet again soon. We discovered that chatting online was a great way to communicate with others, especially during that particular time.
Why not take a chance this Valentine’s Day to meet other people?
Many other singles are waiting for someone to reach out to them.
Let’s be the ones who make the leap of faith and grab the phone or send a link to connect.
Secret #5: Have a Date With the One Who Never Forsakes You
This one might be a bit of a stretch for you. But it does work.
I love dating, which is why I came up with the idea of going on dates with my King. Yes, that’s right. I go on dates with Jesus.
And the cool thing is they are fun.
Spending time with Jesus fills my emotional tank. It touches my heart, makes me a new person, and helps me feel fulfilled. And that is when my inner void begins to disappear.
Every moment I spend with Him, I become more whole. And I’ve found that Jesus always has time for me, and I can go out with Him as many times as I want.
And he’d love to be your Valentine this year.
I’m aware that a date with Jesus isn’t the same as time spent with your future soulmate and may seem like a trivial theoretical exercise, but I encourage you to try it.
You will see how rewarding it is.
Next time you are alone, instead of staying frustrated, prepare dinner for two. Cook your favorite meal, set the table, light a candle, dim the lights, turn on great music, and serve dinner for you and Jesus. Imagine sitting with Him, looking into His eyes. Even though no one else is physically in your dining room, His presence will overflow your heart.
I guarantee you it will be a life-changing experience. I hope you will join me in falling in love again with the King of the Universe.
The Takeaway
What does it take to get through Valentine’s Day as a single? Above all, I encourage you to have an open mind. Consider new, creative ways to spend that wonderful day.
Why not have dinner with friends instead?
What about getting together online?
If you like taking risks, I invite you to talk to a stranger. And try going on a date with Jesus himself.
Never forget that you’re not weird just because you are single.
