4 Roots of Anger

Understanding anger and what can be learnt from the negative behaviors of that emotion.

Curious about the emotion anger, I did some biblical and psychology researches. In this article I share with you a summary of my findings about anger. Understanding the root to better apprehend that universal emotion to all humans and its consequences (negative behavior).

What is anger?

In psychology, anger is defined as “one of the basic human emotions, it is as elemental as happiness, sadness, anxiety, or disgust. These emotions are tied to basic survival and were honed over the course of human history. Anger is related to the “fight, flight, or freeze” response of the sympathetic nervous system; it prepares humans to fight. But fighting doesn’t necessarily mean throwing punches; it might motivate communities to combat injustice by changing laws or enforcing new behavioral norms”.

Unfortunately, anger too easily or frequently mobilized can be toxic in relationships and it can be néfaste to bodies in the long term. “Prolonged release of the stress hormones (adrenaline, cortisol) that accompany anger can destroy neurons in areas of the brain associated with judgment and short-term memory, and weaken the immune system”.

4 most common roots of anger

The roots of a person’s anger can run very deep. Anger’s history can reveal a lifelong struggle to overcome resentment, bitterness, and hostility. And the reasons for a person’s anger may or may not be justified.

Root #1 — Blame & Shame

Who was the first person in the Bible to get angry?

Most people (who read the bible) reply, “Cain.”

Without a doubt, he was a very angry man. But Cain wasn’t the first person in the Bible who got angry.

Consider carefully what happened in the Garden of Eden. Adam found himself married to the most beautiful woman imaginable. His life was paradise. He had a close relationship with God, ruled over creation, and enjoyed constant renewal of life. Then one day, he took a bite of a forbidden fruit and his entire world came crashing down. He was cast out of the garden and became destined to work by the sweat of his brow until the day he died.

Could it be possible Adam was more than a little angry with the woman? Absolutely. How can we know that? Because he blamed Eve for what happened to them. When God confronted him in the garden, Adam responded, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12).

The blame game finds its roots in anger. Ashamed and not wanting to take responsibility for what he’d done, Adam lashed out and placed the blame on Eve. And it’s a pattern that continues to this day.

For Eve’s part, she was also angry. When God confronted her about what she did, Eve played the blame game, too: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Gen. 3:13).

Blame is easy … taking responsibility is hard.

Anger is easy … self-control is hard.

Externally, we may become angry with others who tempt or entice us to do something morally wrong or against our better judgment. And we might get angry when someone lies or preys upon our vulnerability or weakness.

Internally, we may become angry with ourselves for being gullible, buying into a lie. We blame ourselves and often feel shame for this or that in our own minds.

Root #2 — Pride

Most people are born with a desire to be number one. It’s been part of our human nature since Adam and Eve rebelled against God in the Garden of Eden.

Babies cry as a demand to be fed in their first hours of life. As they grow, they learn that crying and throwing tantrums “works” — it’s a way to have their desires met. The sad truth is, some people are still throwing tantrums even when they’re 20, 40, 60, or 80 years old. Why? Simply because they still want their own way. They want what they want when they want it, regardless of another person’s needs or feelings. Pride is their driving force.

Any time a person doesn’t get what he deeply desires, anger is likely. Whether it’s jealousy, envy, greed, losing something closely tied to his identity, or being denied something he truly believes he needs, anger tends to be the result when things don’t “go his way.”

But no one can have his or her way at all times and in all situations. Many people become angry when they don’t have control over a desired situation or individual.

There are many examples of pride-related anger found throughout the Bible. Let’s take a look at a few:

Moses — The first time we see Moses angry is when he kills an Egyptian soldier who was beating a Hebrew slave (Ex. 2:11–12). He ended up fleeing for his life and remaining on the back side of the desert for decades — until God called him to return to Pharaoh’s court and deliver the children of Israel out of bondage and into the Promised Land.

Saul — This first king of Israel frequently displayed anger, especially toward David. Saul tried to kill David by throwing a javelin at him — twice. He ordered him murdered in his bed, and later, he pursued the future king relentlessly into some of the most remote regions of Israel. All this was done in a jealous rage rooted in King Saul’s perception that David was trying to seize control of his kingdom.

Peter — In the New Testament, Peter cut off the ear of a temple guard in the Garden of Gethsemane. The apostle was angry that Jesus was being arrested, but the Lord immediately said to him, “All those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword” (Matt. 26:52).

Time and again, God’s Word reveals that His people displayed anger in ways that didn’t produce good results. In fact, their bitterness, hostility, and rage resulted in rebuke or negative consequences for them and sometimes for the people around them. Most of these examples are related directly to pride and their desire to have things done their way.

Root #3 — Insecurity

The more insecure people are, the easier it is for them to feel anger. Why? Because insecurity is often related to feelings of low self-worth that come from:

Rejection

Fears (especially fear of loss)

Disappointment

Feelings of inadequacy

Not everyone who has these feelings becomes angry, but many people do. They blame themselves. They blame others. They feel shame. A deep inner frustration develops that takes the form of anger. And, as stated previously, when the person begins to act out based on his or her emotions, the results are almost always negative.

Insecure people have difficulty establishing good, lasting relationships. They simply can’t see how they could add value to anyone else’s life. Also, lack of confidence can cause some people to withdraw from others, which can easily be mistaken for anger or an act of arrogance.

Praying/meditating for the ability to recognize areas of self-doubt can be a first step towards understanding what is going on and how to move peacefully forwards.

Root #4 — Dreams Deferred or Denied

I read a story about “a man who dreamed of becoming a medical doctor. He studied hard through elementary and high school, making excellent grades. But when the time came for him to go to college, his father refused to help. Instead, he was forced to stay on the family farm and work. Times were tough, money in short supply, and the young man felt he must obey his father’s demands.

At the age of 23, the man had enough of farm life. He packed his belongings, loaded his car, and drove away — taking with him a heart full of bitterness and resentment toward his father. For the rest of his life, he held to his anger and blamed his father for the loss of his dream.

As the years passed, this man allowed few people to get close to him. The bitterness he held inside spilled onto every relationship he developed, so he was constantly coping with feelings of rejection and isolation. He moved from job to job, unable to settle down or succeed in his work.

Finally, he met a woman who genuinely cared for him. After a short engagement, they married. Three weeks into the marriage, an unexpected explosion of anger nearly ended all affection his bride felt toward him. She didn’t leave him, but she cringed at his violent temper. Most of her friends refused to come to their home — they simply couldn’t tolerate being in the presence of a person so filled with anger and bitterness.

This man held to his rage until the end of his life. Even when he was senile and unable to care for himself, the poisons of resentment and bitterness continued to eat away at him. The longer he held to his anger, the hotter it burned inside him.

I’d love to tell you this man had an amazing spiritual healing and became a person filled with joy and peace. But that wasn’t the case. He died a bitter, angry person.

I don’t know all the reasons why this man’s father wouldn’t let him leave the farm. Maybe he was threatened by his son’s intellect or educational goals. Maybe he was selfish, not wanting to lose a farmhand. What I do know with certainty is that none of the reasons were justified in his son’s mind. The son no doubt felt justified in his anger. But let me ask you, “Who suffered the most through those years?” It certainly wasn’t the father.

It was the son”.

We must remember that when we hold to our anger and bitterness, our entire lives will suffer their poison.

At some point or another we humans have to deal with anger. As I’m concerned it was very recently (today). I didn’t handle it the «healthy» way, so writing about it hoping to use this as a reminder the next time I’m in a challenging situation that triggers anger. There are healthy ways out there (breathing and counting to 5 downwards; going for a walk, letting it go – life is too short) etc.. it is just hard to remember all these good ones when one is already on fire.

In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves — Buddha

Until next time: take good care of your gorgeous self and drink your water (or champagne, hehehe). One love.

For all inquiries, you can reach out to me via email [email protected]

References and inspiration: Biblical Sources + “Anger in the Age of Entitlement” by Steven Stosny, Ph.D + Recent Personal Experience

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