5 Ridiculously Simple Steps To Dump Your Emotional Baggage For Good

It’s time to move on.

Let it go.

You know, the nifty backpack full of your life’s emotional baggage that you’ve had strapped on for so long it feels like an appendage?

Let. It. Go.

Easier said than done, especially when you’ve grown quite comfy with the weight and even convinced yourself that it’s your job to carry it around.

It’s part of the deal, you say to yourself.

Not anymore. Here’s how to dump it once and for all.

Reflect with caution and forgive

Reflecting on the past is a practice fraught with danger. Especially when you have convinced yourself of something for so long, you may not even know the real truth anymore.

The truth is, things happened. You were different. Your life was different. What motivated then wouldn’t motivate you now. It’s like you were a whole different version of yourself.

Exactly.

Step one in dumping your baggage is to ask yourself if the guilt, shame, regret, or anger that you’re holding onto is a result of actions taken by a version of you that you no longer espouse to be.

If the answer is yes, then face the feelings truthfully, without convincing yourself that you need to suffer for them until the end of time. Then own what you did to contribute to the situation, right or wrong, apologize or make amends where you can, and leave it.

To release that part of your past that you need to forgive, it’s helpful to remember that we’re all doing the best we can in any moment. If you had known that your action would cause pain to others or yourself, you probably wouldn’t have done it, right? And even if you knew that you were causing damage at the time, you had no idea how much you would regret it in the future. — Matt James, Ph.D

No one on earth wants you to hold onto feelings of shame or regret for the rest of your life as it eats away at your soul. If they do, they don’t love you, which means their opinion shouldn’t matter much.

“Forgiveness isn’t approving what happened. It’s choosing to rise above it.” Robin Sharma

Find the lesson

Every less than perfect decision in our lives, the times we have failed or been a lesser version of ourselves, or behaved in a negative way in response to our situations, leave us with an array of feelings. Some are more difficult than others to work through.

But they also leave us with a lesson. Some are hard pills to swallow, but once you commit to reflecting with caution and forgiving, you can begin to dive into the lesson.

For example, if you were in a long relationship where you never felt understood or were belittled, you may learn to lock your feelings away in all areas of your life.

But once you can identify what has caused you to hide yourself and stay closed, you can begin to take baby steps in rewriting your life from this point.

It takes a lot of patience and time to undo old thoughts, but you’re not a victim anymore. You can choose where to go from here.

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying… that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. — Alexander Pope

Affirm new boundaries

Just as it will take time to loosen the past's grip on your emotions, it will also take consistency. The more you check in with yourself and identify that you are on track, the less likely it will be that you’ll slip into old patterns.

Affirm on a regular basis what you want your life to be like and remain committed to doing whatever it takes to get there.

This may require you to set some boundaries with people or situations that you’ve allowed to live rent-free in your mind and soul and take up a lot of room.

They won’t like it at first, but it’s your life at stake so staying firm in your boundaries will eventually send the message loud and clear, and open up space.

A person with healthy boundaries understands that making their expectations clear helps in two ways: it establishes what behavior you will accept from other people, and it establishes what behavior other people can expect from you.

Look at who is around you

Sometimes it’s easier for an outsider to recognize if you’re getting off track or seem out of balance.

Talking about your plans and the changes you’re seeking to make with a professional therapist, coach, friend, or family member may give you just the accountability you need to stay focused.

You may also need to take a hard look at the people you interact with if you find yourself struggling to make positive strides in your life.

Through no fault of their own, the people who are around you most can make change difficult. It doesn’t mean you need to sever all ties, but just recognize the possibility that people in your life unconsciously have an impact on your behavior, and you’ll want to prepare yourself by being steadfast in your new affirmations.

Whether we fear making others uncomfortable by changing or we simply worry we won’t be accepted, our desire to belong is a powerful force that can influence our decision making. — Dr. Diana Robinson

Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional, speak your goals to family or friends, or pull new people into your circle to help you change up your routine.

Be patient

Once you’re ready to put your mask on first in life, you may have the urge to dive right in, flip everything on its head, and set a dozen new goals for yourself. In the next 30 days.

Being eager to focus on self-care is a good thing, but being realistic about how long it may take to change your thinking is what will keep you from burning out and quitting.

When you begin to experience signs of becoming impatient with yourself, identify how it feels in your mind and body. Are you agitated or frustrated when you find yourself drifting back into old habits or thoughts?

It’s going to happen. The key is to identify that feeling and be aware.

If you said yes to someone when you really wanted to say no, you’re probably going to feel some frustration.

You said you were going to set clear boundaries for yourself and there you go again.

Give yourself time. After all, these behaviors took years to take root and it will take time to unearth them. Calmly accept the way things are on the way to how you want them to be.

Dumping your old baggage gives you more space to think, be creative, and grow. Your future is now. What are you doing about it?

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor Frankl

🎉 P.S. More thought candy on 🔥 🎧 The Badass Midlife Podcast 🎧 🔥

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