5 Reasons Why You Might Be Sleep Sexing
You may have a sleeping disorder without knowing it.

For some women, there is nothing more annoying than having a partner who has sex with them and forgets they did. Some men have sex in their sleep, orgasm, and forget they ever did when they wake up.
According to experts, having sex in your sleep is known as Sexsomnia. It’s like sleepwalking, but in this case, you are sleep fucking. This is a common problem with men. Apparently, women suffer sexsomnia too. About 8% of people with sleep disorders suffer from sexsomnia.
However, there is no accurate data on how many people suffer from sexsomnia because most people who do are ashamed to report they suffer from the condition.
Sexsomaniacs have sex with the person sleeping next to them without consent. They are not aware of what is happening. They have no recollection of their sexual actions when they wake up.
Is sexsomnia an act of rape?
A 30-year-old man raped his four-year-old daughter while he was sleeping. The case was ruled out as pedophilia. The man confessed he has been having sex with his wife in his sleep but he never told to his wife he had such a medical condition.
When his daughter woke him up to escort her to the bathroom, the man grabbed his little girl and raped her. He came to his senses when the girl started screaming “daddy it’s me.” The father felt ashamed but the deed was already done.
I’ve heard women complain of being rough-handled by their husbands while they were asleep. One woman reported her husband had anal sex with her despite her warnings that he was hurting her.
Another woman, felt violated when her boyfriend denied promising to make her the mother of his children before having sex with her when he was half asleep.
While some women enjoy the pleasure when their man spontaneously caresses them and makes promises in his sleep, however, when the sexual act moves into sex, our mind goes to consent.
Is one thing to have sex with your partner when you are both aware of the act, but if one person is unaware of what they were doing, the other person will feel violated.
Some sexsomaniacs are more gentle and oriented to pleasing their partner than when they are conscious. While others are more aggressive and you can’t stop them until they’ve had their fill. If your partner displays rare sexual behaviors during their sleep, check for these signs that prove they have sexsomnia.
They are unusually sweet
If your partner has sexsomnia, they will display wildly erotic behaviors you have never seen before when they are not sleeping.
You may notice the moan softly, caress and talk smoothly to tease you before penetrating you. They concentrate on doing things to make you happy at that moment so you give in.
If your partner frequently wakes you up for sex in the middle of the night, give him a painful pinch on the chin or on his dick to be sure he’s fully aware of his actions.
They act aggressive and violent
Sexsomaniacs display violent behaviors in their sleep. During the episode, he will try to pin you down with his body and ignore anything you say.
If you try to fight him off, he will become physically violent. He may tear off your nightwear, flip you around, or even hit you.
The best thing you can do when your partner wants to have sex with you without your consent is to relax and give in.
Fighting them will make the situation worse since they have no control over themselves at that moment. They are in a deep sleep and when you try to wake someone in a deep sleep they get aggressive.
They masturbate in the middle of the night
Masturbation is good for your brain. When you touch yourself at night, your brain begins to associate bed with sex and this may be good for your sex life.
However, it could become a real issue in your relationship if you are a deep sleeper. Imagine sleeping next to a new date or an acquaintance, he sees you fondling yourself. He may assume you want sex and that can get him aroused.
Most sexsomaniacs have no idea they masturbate in their sleep unless they are told.
If your partner moan, fondle, finger, or stroke themselves when they are sleeping, there is every chance they are sexsomaniacs.
They don’t remember having sex when they wake up
Jade filled a case of rape after she woke up with her clothes and underwear on the floor and a man lying next to her.
The case was thrown out without going to trial on grounds that Jade had a sexsomnia episode instead of rape. Jade had no remembrance of how the alleged rape happened.
She admitted to being a sleepwalker when she was a teenager and also traces of sleep apnea were found in her test and with that, her case didn’t make it to trial. Sleep apnea is a common condition where breathing stops and starts during sleep.
According to experts, sleep apnea tends to wake the brain up during slow-wave sleep. These little sleep interruptions create the perfect environment for confused awakenings.
So if your partner has no recollection of their sexual behavior when they wake up, it’s most certainly they have sexsomnia.
They sleep off immediately after sex
If you are like me who likes when a guy cuddles or chats a bit after sex, then you must be disappointed when your man sleeps off halfway through sex or right after sex.
Sexsomnia happens when a person is in a state of deep sleep. Just like sleepwalking or talking, their brain gets stuck between sleeping and waking. This is why their body acts awake even though they’re not.
If your partner murmurs, fondle, or makes out without you when he’s half awake, don’t assume he’s a sexsomaniac until you notice the same behavior more frequently.
When you are certain, he has no idea what he does during his episode, sit him down and have a heart-to-heart conversation about his condition.
Parting thoughts
Sexsomnia can be caused by lack of sleep, stress, fatigue, anxiety, alcohol, certain medications, and irregular sleep patterns.
Maintaining good sleep hygiene and a regular sleep schedule and abstinence from alcohol can help with sleep disorder problems, including sexsomnia.
If your partner is concerned about how his behavior is affecting your relationship and wants to kick the habit, you can help him seek medical help.
Therapy will also help reduce stress and anxiety that can contribute to sexsomnia.
If you would like to get updated with stories like this in your inbox, subscribe to my newsletter. You might want to become a premium member, for as low as $5 you get the chance to read unlimited stories on Medium. Check out more of my sex stories here.
