5 Reasons Why We Aren’t Chasing Our Dreams

#3 It’s all a little too overwhelming

Chase your dreams, follow your passion, it’s all the rage lately. There are countless articles, blog posts, and memes that flood your social media feed every time you log onto one of them. It seems so easy, just follow your heart, do what makes you happy and live a full life, so why don’t we do it?

If it were that easy, we would live in a world where everyone was following their passion, we would all be happy as clams, and the world would be better place.

But life as we know it, is not that cut and dry. We can’t all just drop everything and become a painter, life itself gets in the way. I have even written an article in the past about why following your passion is pointless. I have since changed my mind once I realized I was just full of fear and negative thoughts.

5 reasons we don’t chase our dreams, and some steps to help get a little closer to your end goal.

1. Fear of leaving our comfort zone

For the majority of us, we have already settled into our comfort zone. We have settled in life. We have a good job, a steady paycheck, a roof over our head, and life is overall not too shabby.

This comfort zone makes us put life on autopilot and it’s tough to break out of that cycle. But, leaving your comfort zone is a good thing, it’s really the only way to grow and without growth what is the point of life?. If we stay in our bubble and never expand our horizons, we are just watching the days go by, ticking ever closer to the end, and that’s no way to live.

Living in your comfort zone every day, endlessly can also lead to burnout, and that’s not good either.

Here are some ways to break out of your comfort zone slowly:

Take up some offers

If someone asks you to go out after work, do it. Even though you want to get home, make dinner, and settle in for the newest episode of whatever reality show you are into, take up some offers.

Even if it’s just occasionally, it’s a small step to opening your world. You will meet new people, explore new places, maybe make a closer friend and more importantly you will grow.

Just do it, say yes once in a while.

Find a new hobby

Make your new hobby something relatively related to your dreams. If you have always wanted to tap into your creative side, maybe take up painting or drawing. Maybe you can sign up for a class at the local college. Whatever it is, it will give you something else to do when you get off work. A hobby will give you something to look forward to, something to live for other than work.

Get some exercise

Take a walk after work. Go play tennis with a friend. Do some sit-ups and push-ups in your living room. You don’t have to go nuts but open yourself up to doing something other than plopping on the couch when you get home.

Get out and get some fresh air, enjoy nature, people watch, you will be amazed at how good you feel afterward. Eventually, with enough repetition, it will become a habit and you will reap the rewards in the long run.

2. Lack of Confidence

Many of us that aren’t following our dreams are paralyzed by our lack of confidence. Negative thoughts fill our head, and we don’t think we can accomplish anything because we have been in that comfort zone for too long.

This is all self-manufactured. Remember, you are in control of your thoughts and actions. Like they say, if you really want something, anything is possible. It’s true.

I didn’t have the confidence to start writing, but I really wanted it and writing is one of my dreams. I thought no one would enjoy my writing, it would be awful, I am garbage. So, for years I didn’t do anything. I have since gotten over this lack of confidence and am now making small steps toward my dream.

Ways to increase your confidence:

Do it anyway

Despite your lack of confidence, make a move and do it anyways. It seems impossible I know, but what’s the worst thing that could happen? You fail. That’s all, the world won’t end, the sky won’t fall, you won’t die.

Take the leap, swallow your fear, and take a small step toward your dream. I started here on Medium, and it has turned into a few regular freelance clients that I make money writing for. The incredible feeling of accomplishment when I publish an article that people actually read is worth the risk.

Surround yourself with allies

Narrow your friends and family down to those that support you no matter what. We all have cheerleaders all around us, we just need to identify them.

Having someone that you can bounce ideas off of that you know won’t judge you or knock you down is an incredible asset. Clear out the negative people in your life, distance yourself from them and your confidence will grow.

Your allies will be there if you fall to pick you back up again.

3. Fear of the Unknown/Uncertainty

Another major reason we don’t follow our dreams and passions is that we don’t know what is behind that closed door. We don’t know what lies ahead, and that is terror inducing.

Once again, it’s too easy to stay in our regular life, not take any chances and keep repeating the same day over and over again.

Take the chance, just like when you wade slowly into the cold ocean, at some point you have to say “screw it” and dive in headfirst.

Break your fear of the unknown:

Research like hell

We are blessed to live in this age of endless information. Everything is literally at our fingertips. Start your research now, don’t delay. Read as many books and articles about your dream as you can. Sign up for online classes, or master sessions. Watch a hundred YouTube videos if that’s what it takes.

The more you learn about your path, the less you will fear it.

Be prepared for the worst

This one feels a little negative, but it’s a necessary evil to overcome your fear of uncertainty. Go over all the possible scenarios in your head. But take the good with the bad.

Imagine yourself succeeding and picture what that looks like, so you are ready for it. Also, picture things going horribly wrong, so you know what that looks like as well. Formulate plans for each scenario.

Being ready for everything will alleviate your fears because you will be ultra-ready, don’t let anything get past you.

4. Being too Overwhelmed by our dreams

A lot of us don’t ever chase our dreams because we don’t know where to start, or how to start. It’s all a little to overwhelming. Too many times we think of the entire picture all at once, we imagine the end result, where we want to be instead of how to get there.

We forget that there are hundreds of steps to take along the way to get to our final destination. You’ve heard it before; the longest journey begins with a single step.

We get overwhelmed, we think our dreams are impossible, and we can never make it, so we get paralyzed.

Don’t let yourself get swallowed up:

Make a list

We already know the dream, we know where we want to be, what the end result looks like, but we don’t take the time to outline the steps to get there.

Take some time and make a list of everything you need to do to get to your dream. Your list might be 100+ items long, but breaking it down into incremental steps will help you overcome the overwhelming feeling, it will help you from becoming paralyzed.

With a list, you can slowly start chopping down that tree, and the further along you get the less overwhelming things will seem.

Give yourself some credit

Okay, so you’ve made your list. Now you need to give yourself credit when you achieve each step. Celebrate a little, pat yourself on the back and be proud.

For me, my first step was signing up to multiple websites to start my freelancing career. Even this task seemed overwhelming, there were so many sites, so many profiles, and I didn’t know where to even start. Once I took the time to do it, to sign up for all of them, make my profiles, upload my pictures, I sat back and gave myself some time to be happy that I accomplished the first step.

If you don’t applaud yourself and aren’t your own champion, your journey will be a lot longer and tougher.

5. Fear of Failure

This is perhaps the biggest one. Saving the best (or worst) for last. The fear of failure cuts dreams off at the knees because we are inclined to immediately picture the end result, we often don’t start because we are afraid of failing and being embarrassed.

No one wants to be the dummy that quit his job to be a full-time writer, only to come crawling back and begging for their position back. Again, tied to the comfort zone, we don’t break out because we think we will fail.

Until you break yourself from this negative thought pattern, you won’t get anywhere.

Get over fear of failure:

Start small

You don’t have to jump off the ledge into the deep end all at once. Start small, review your list, and start with some steps to set yourself up for success. If your dream is to own your own business, maybe you start with 1 client, part time, while keeping your regular job. You can build from there, slowly. If you want to be a bar owner, maybe take a job as a bartender once a week and learn all you can about the business.

Don’t think that you must quit everything, risk it all to follow your dreams. You are in control; you can start as small and as slow as you want. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe.

Imagine failing and make a plan

You might fail, wrap your head around that fact.

Sometimes life isn’t fair, sometimes things don’t always work out for the best. Think about what failure will look like and come up with a backup plan. The more prepared you are the better.

Having a plan if all goes wrong will also boost your confidence knowing you have a parachute just in case. By imagining yourself crashing and burning and what would happen if you fail, you can take the leap.

So, in conclusion, it’s no life to live having dreams in the back of your head that aren’t being fulfilled. Too many people wind up in their last days filled with regret wishing they had just gone for it.

Start small, take baby steps, and set yourself up to at least start down the road toward your goal. Don’t live with regret, even if you fail miserably, at least you chased your dream.

There really is no need to live in the boring drudgery of a life unfulfilled.

Don’t let yourself get in the way of following your dreams and passions. So what if you fail, at least you gave it a chance and followed your heart.