5 Reasons Why Hope Is Dangerous

But hope does not have to be that way

What is there without any hope? Especially if you struggle with depression.

You need to find a reason to get out of bed each morning when you are deep into a depressive valley, and if you have pets, kids, work, or other responsibilities, then that is a good thing because those things are getting you out of bed.

However, hope can be a good thing if you can always remember in the back of your mind that bad times don’t last.

Yes, good times don’t last either, but bad times don’t, and it is realistic to believe that whatever challenge you are facing right now will not last forever.

If you are afraid that you will be stuck in a perpetual cycle of struggle, burden, or bad luck, you have to look for help as far as how it can help you get through it or, if possible, remove you from it.

So it is perfectly fine and reasonable to hope there is help for you. The odds are in your favor that there is.

When you use hope in a practical sense while keeping your emotions in check, then it can be a good thing.

Hope is when you want to believe that a situation will improve, and if you take action steps to help make that happen, hope can be great.

It can be motivating. But the problem is hope can also be quite destructive for seven reasons.

1. Hope Can Make You Believe That There Is Always a Happy Ending

Sure, it is best to look at any situation with the glass half-full, but the reality is that not every situation will have a good outcome.

Many people hold onto a lot of hope when dealing with an adverse and stressful situation because they want to believe it will end and turn into a happy ending.

Only in a perfect world will that happen. In reality, life does not always have a happy ending, and no amount of hope will change that.

Unfortunately, there are many people who encourage you to be hopeful that a bad situation will get better and end. What happens if it doesn’t? That is when you realize that hope is not always good to have.

When my son was diagnosed with autism and severe ADHD, the therapists who worked with him said not to give up hope and to believe that he would achieve a lot, succeed in life, and live independently.

I wanted to believe them, but my realistic side (some would even dare to say pessimistic) is why I wanted to look into group home planning.

Instead, my mental and physical health ended up crumbling, and my son was failing in every area of his life despite the amount of therapy.

That is why he had to leave for residential care at 13, and even though he has done well over the years, he will never be completely independent, even if he can work and live in a group home.

The truth is, I have stopped hoping when it comes to him because whatever happens with him is entirely out of my control.

2. Hope Can Lead To Heartbreak and Devastation

It does not take a rocket scientist to see that if you hang onto hope too much, especially over something out of your control, you will be devastated when what you hoped for does not manifest.

This is why you have to be careful when you are striving for a dream. If you hope too much that it will turn out exactly the way you want, even if you do put the work into it, there is a good chance you will become disappointed at the very least.

Even if you do achieve your dream, you may be disappointed that it is not as wonderful as you had imagined or, dare I say, hoped. That is why so many mothers are unhappy.

So many mothers have held onto hope that their lives would become better once they have kids, and more often than not, the opposite ends up happening.

3. Hope Usually Removes the Action Steps You Need to Take To Achieve Something

Many times, hoping for something is no more than wishing for something. Or, hoping for something is the same as praying.

That means you are focusing on a favorable outcome by wishing or praying for it hard without taking the correct action steps to make it happen.

For example, if you start a business and hope it will bring you six figures in a year, if you are not taking steps to make that happen, and if you wish and pray for it, it will not happen.

In reality, it is rare for a business to become that successful, even with a lot of hard work, that quickly.

It is always good to be optimistic about something you are working on while you are putting in the effort to increase the odds of the outcome turning out favorable.

However, hope can inhibit the appropriate action steps you need to make that happen, which means what you hope to see happen will always remain a fantasy.

4. Hope Can Cause You To Become Delusional

Having logical hope while taking the action steps to increase the odds of something turning out well, like a business, is fine.

However, the problem with hope is that it can cause a lot of self-deception if the hope is not based on reality or any action planning.

Let’s go back to that business example. If you are hoping that your business will bring in six figures in a year after you establish it, then you are at the risk of deluding yourself. That is, even if you are taking the action steps to make it successful.

Yes, there is a reason to be hopeful that your business may bring in some profit if you work even after a year of establishment.

However, the mistake is to believe it will bring in six figures because it takes a long time and effort to achieve that.

And if you make yourself believe that in a year from now, you will have a six-figure business where you feel justified in going out to gourmet restaurants all of the time and taking nice trips on credit (because you believe you will pay it off by then), then you are allowing this hope to deceive you.

5. Hope Makes You Feel Hopeless

The problem with being let down repeatedly after getting your hopes up is that you will give up all hope entirely and go on through life by going through the motions in an apathetic state.

That is no good either. When you feel hopeless because of being let down, you often allow your previous hopes to get out of hand, and you will struggle to find a reason to be motivated to do anything. You will no longer set goals, and you will merely exist.

What is the best solution? The best solution is to use hope logically and constructively.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for the best but preparing for the worst in a detached state for anything, but you cannot associate any expectations with any hope you have.

It is perfectly fine and healthy to hope to have a successful business eventually, but you cannot expect to make six figures after a year of its establishment.

You can set some realistic monetary goals but don’t get too attached to meeting those, either.

As much as you can hope that your business will become successful, be prepared for the possibility that it may not be, and that is when it is best to create a plan B.

That could take an alternate direction with it or taking courses in case you need to fold it so you can have the skills to do other work.

When you prepare for the worst, at least you can have a plan B. That way, as disappointing as it may be that you would have to use it, you won’t be devastated or shocked, and it will be a reminder for you never to allow your hopes to get the best of you.

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