5 Quotes to Cool the Fires of Intense Emotion

And help gain perspective

Maya Angelou.

Malala Yousafzai.

Both experienced significant trauma that can be difficult to comprehend.

Wisdom from individuals like these can put things into perspective. Ultimately, cooling the fires of intense emotions.

Post these quotes on your wall, save them on your phone, or have them as a screensaver on your laptop to look at in moments of crisis:

1

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” — Maya Angelou

Defeat.

It’s a sinking feeling. Like a gentle heaviness that swirls in your chest unable to be released. It’s the powerpoint you bomb, the match that you lose, it’s not getting the job. It’s all these things and more that can throw you into an emotional tailspin.

But it’s not the end.

It’s the beginning of understanding your potential.

Take pride in taking a step towards what you want.

In the pursuit of your goals, challenges await. And these goals often must be met alone. You cannot solely rely on the external (friends, mentors, praise) because it will not keep you motivated. At the end of the day, you must make decisions.

Use your resources.

But prepare for when they’re not there.

Take a closer look at your thoughts

Good baseball hitters succeed 30% of the time.

I’ve seen hitters break their bats, punch, or kick water coolers when they strike out and get injured because of actions like this. These intense mood swings can distract them from what matters most, which is preparation for the next at-bat. Biases such as perfectionism can cloud judgment and get in the way of your next successful at-bat.

Put your thoughts under a microscope. Think to yourself, “Even if the worst were to happen, can I imagine coping well with it?”

Maya Angelou’s quote helps us say, “so what?” to our problems.

2

“We were scared, but our fear was not as strong as our courage.” — Malala Yousafzai

Fear is normal.

It’s an urge to escape or avoid situations. It’s not wanting to confront the fact that your boss is treating you poorly or that your colleague is making you uncomfortable. Fear of fallout becomes a primary obstacle. This avoidance can result in feelings of anger and resentment.

Feelings communicate actions.

And it’s up to you to listen.

Fear is confusing too.

You may think you’re on the wrong path because you feel fear, but it could indicate you’re on the right track. Think of the joy you feel after getting off a rollercoaster, or if you’re brave enough when you skydive. Even finishing a presentation you feared can flood you with positive feelings. The stories you make up can stop you before you start.

Inaccurate fear interpretations can cause doubt.

Consider how you have overcome fear in the past to strengthen yourself.

Develop your toolkit

All you need is 15 seconds of courage.

Starting is the most challenging part of anything. And while taking significant action can help you overcome fear, it’s not the only way. You can gradually expose yourself to what’s challenging. I’ve had a situation where an individual’s goal was to gradually enter a building. They started by making their way to the parking lot and progressed from there.

Courage is powerful. It can leave you empty afterward.

So, develop a survival toolkit that includes items such as paper and pens for doodling or writing, snacks, a list of people you can talk to, pictures of your family and more to help you deal with the emotional overwhelm you may feel from confronting your fear.

3

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” — Marcus Aurelius

Challenge your assumptions.

Emotions can affect your thoughts about events. For example, thinking that a minor disagreement with your friend means they will hate you forever. Examining your thoughts and checking the facts can help you change your emotions. It involves acknowledging the fact that the disagreement might be trivial and easily resolved.

But the wrong mindset can blow a situation out of proportion.

It can lead to the unnecessary escalation of emotional distress.

Cut the waste

Eliminate.

Less is more. It’s like cleaning your garage or getting rid of clothes you don’t need anymore. Simple pleasures can greatly affect your tranquility. Reading, walking, and socializing for example can be reenergizing. And help build momentum.

It brings calm into your day.

And more calm means improved clarity.

4

“We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt.” — Dorothy Day

Don’t waste time because you only have a limited amount of it.

You may not realize the impact of your decisions right now. Like an iceberg, you only see the surface of your decisions, not realizing there is more to them. It’s being caught in the never-ending now. Constantly playing catch up with an always moving target.

This can be frustrating and fill you with anger, envy, and doubt.

Don’t plant these seeds. You won’t want to harvest what they bear.

Give yourself a reminder

You’ll grow old (possibly).

And the older you are, the more responsible people expect you to be. Additionally, there will be a time when those you leaned on won’t be there. You’ll have to lean on their teachings or remind yourself of wisdom. That way you can avoid destructive actions and produce something good.

I personally wear a medallion that reminds me “You could leave life right now (let that determine what you do and say and think).”

It may be a tattoo for you or a screensaver on your phone. However, have something that guides you away from making a bad situation worse.

5

“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” — Lao Tzu

Letting go is power.

Choosing a thoughtful response, not forcing the action in sport, and empowering your team with freedom and autonomy illustrate the power of acceptance. It’s not about sitting by but about recognizing when to step in and when to back off. You don’t have to control everything. In fact, that’s stressful to do.

Power can change you.

Power is about responsibility.

So be patient with yourself.

Compare who you were yesterday to the person you are today. And ask yourself at critical moments, “How would the old me have handled that?” This will require you to S.T.O.P.

To STOP you must:

S: Stop

T: Think

O: Options

P: Proceed

This way you can practice mastering control over yourself.

It’s a never-ending job, but it’s the best investment you can make.

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