5 Quotes About Grief to Help You Keep Going After A Loss

6 weeks ago, I lost my dadi (grandmother). A year into the pandemic and, surprisingly, it wasn’t COVID that took her, but undetermined natural causes. If you’re lucky like I’ve been, you don’t face loss like this regularly; it’s been 15 years since the last big loss of my family, my dada (grandfather).

There are still days that I carry around the heavy feeling of death. I was there later that night to witness her body, and the images keep flashing in my mind. As part of a close-knit family, I stayed strong to support others in their grief and snuck moments to myself to process and let it all out when I could.

Grief comes in waves. There are moments when I’m completely fine and I recall many happy memories with my dadi from throughout my life. And then there are moments when everything feels dark and lifeless as if I’m stuck in a cave and unable to climb out.

There’s no cure for grief, although some may argue that time can heal all. Turning to words of wisdom from others brings some solace as I make my way forward without her.

“But what is grief, if not love persevering?”

— Vision

Marvel Studio’s recent miniseries, Wandavision, is grief brought to life. Those we love deeply stick with us in our memories and hearts for as long as we live.

This love pushes forward even when the object of it has gone.

No matter how much sorrow I carry, I try to keep looking at it as my love for my dadi continuing forward.

What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, For all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

— Helen Keller

I remember the scary stories my dadi used to tell me and how my dada would always pick me up from school.

You might remember a grandparent or a parent or a sibling or a cousin or an aunt — and all the experiences you had with them while they were alive.

They’re never fully gone. They’re still with you, in your mind and your memories, and you can always return to those for some joy. My dadi has impacted my life in ways I may not fully comprehend until later in my life.

I’m holding those memories as close as I can. I want to always remember that I am who I am because of my dadi.

Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.

— Paulo Coelho

I’d like to think that my dadi has been reunited with my dada, her companion in life and the person who made her truly happy. I can imagine my dad planting flowers and bicycling while my dadi cooks and reads her Gujarati books.

If you are a spiritual person, you move forward knowing you will one day be reunited with loved ones. I stay positive knowing that they are in a better place, that they are no longer in any pain and don’t have to deal with the suffering of this material world.

All you need is one safe anchor to keep you grounded when the rest of your life spins out of control.

— Katie Kacvinsky

Although many emotions can be tough to handle, grief hits in ways we can’t foresee. It has thrown me off balance and it’s been difficult to return to normal life with a hole in my heart. Nothing feels quite right.

It’s been important to find the little things. You’ve heard about the little things — the small aspects of life that can bring moments of joy or, at least, peace.

For me, it’s been candles, taking walks, prayer, and sometimes, just crying it all out. You might journal, visit friends, exercise; anything to take your mind away from the deep well of sadness and to keep you afloat.

Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.

— Rumi

Our emotions are a spectrum through which we oscillate day by day. We feel gratitude and it helps us better understand anger. We feel hope so we can understand fear. We feel joy so we can understand grief.

Grief helps us become more empathetic towards others who face similar situations. It helps us step into another’s shoes so we can recognize what they feel and what they’re going through. My grief and my struggle help me understand those of my students who have lost a loved one.

Use your grief. On the days I find positive emotions, I can feel them more deeply because I have seen the other side. I can use my grief to acknowledge others’ feelings and support them better than I did before.

Grief does fade eventually. I’m a month and a half in and I don’t have as many weird dreams about my dadi as I did the first week after her passing.

You might be able to return to a “normal” routine and get back to work. You might travel to get out of the space your loved one was in. Eventually, life will be life and your loved one will be a memory you return to, on purpose and with joy.

My grief is a signpost of my love. It tells me how deeply I felt for another human being and how much she impacted my life. It will help me understand others and love them in ways I might not yet imagine.

Day by day, it will get easier to live. I’ll focus on the little things to help keep me going and find others to push me forward. My grief is my strength.