Mental Health

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Figuring the Root of Your Pressure Out

Pressure can be healthy, but it can cause a lot of problems when it's too much.

Pressure comes like waves. We either ride with the ebb and flow or get so caught up in it that it causes distress, trauma, or even psychosis, like mine.

In November, I suffered from a psychosis (in other words, a mental breakdown), and a lot of it came from a build-up of external and internal pressure. Pressure can be a killer.

So here are five questions to ask yourself when figuring the root of your pressure out, taken from my new self-help book.

1. What’s sustaining the pressure?

“It does not engage with our inner light, yet rather dismisses our right of speech and deters us from what is real.”

When we feel pressure, a lot of the time, it comes from outward occurrences. This can cause upset, trauma, stress, and a whole handful of mental health issues.

When I first came out of the clinic, I pressured myself so much to find a place to live, get back to Berlin, find a new job. It was simply too much. The pressure led me to have a bit of psychosis again where I had to return to the clinic for a further seven weeks.

Instead of realising that I was pressuring myself, I kept doing it and acted out of the pressure. What was sustaining it? I need to move on, be free.

Ask yourself what is keeping your pressure from acting on faith, love, peace. What is sustaining your pressure is what’s keeping it alive. Once you find this out, ask yourself:

2. Who/what is spurring it on?

“Whilst people are being buried under pressure, bizarrely, the public doesn't realise the missing piece.”

There has to be a reason for your pressure, which may be different from sustaining it.

For me, it wasn’t my dad (luckily enough) — he was very open and caring to me, staying with him for as long as I needed.

Nor was it my friends or family — they were all very supportive of my mental health taking a dip in the mental clinic and were there for me every step of the way, saying it’s OK to take my time.

Rather, it was outward pressures of society that destroyed me and made my pressure big. I thought to myself: “Who at 26 is living with their dad jobless?” When thinking this, the pressure loaded on me, and I wanted to live up to societal standards to get a place to live and move on with my life.

I guess your pressure can be spurred on by society without even recognising it these days. But when you do, you become more self-aware and try to take care.

3. Why/how it is noticeable?

“Label this, tag that. Who cares? Do not limit yourself to your job title.”

When coming to terms with the root of your pressure, could you pay attention to why it is noticeable? There may be many reasons why it is present and noticeable, but if you find the key, then you can unlock it.

I was putting so much pressure on myself that it led me back to the mental clinic because I couldn’t cope anymore. Ask yourself why is the pressure coming up now; what is it that is sustaining it to be noticeable on the outside?

If you don’t know how it is noticeable, ask your friends. My dad told me he could see the pressure in me because my body was tense, and I ground my teeth.

These physical aspects are caused by pressure — what do you do, and what can you do to make them go away?

4. Where did it come from?

“Focus your will on what is within and you will shine from without”

Once you have realised the above questions, you can finally come to realise where they came from. As said before, I noticed that my pressure was wanting to live up to societal standards and go with the social norm of what is expected of me.

Remember: There are no expectations of you, other than the ones you put on yourself.

I think this is really important to remember because expectations are the worst. They will always bring disappointment, anger, pressure. Have healthy expectations but don’t pile them upon yourself to make the pressure overloaded.

Once you know the root of pressure, you can realise what emotions and feelings are present and why it makes you feel like this.

5. When did it make me feel like this?

“Dedicate time and effort to what makes you thrive and feel alive, rather than what others fool you into feeling momentarily doped upon.”

Feelings are important to notice when becoming more self-aware and taking care.

When I was able to find out the root cause of my pressure, I noticed how it made me feel, and I asked why and when it made me feel like this.

When you notice the way you feel, be it loneliness, disappointment, shame — all these negative feelings come along with pressure — you will be able to tackle when it made you feel this way and the point at when you lost control over your emotions.

I realised that I was giving in to depression and letting it take over my body and mind at some point when I wasn’t getting anywhere with finding a place to live, so I stopped. I stopped looking and letting it get to me. Something better would work out, and it did — I am now going to stay in this area and not return to Berlin for the better.

What about you?

In Conclusion

The five questions to ask yourself when figuring out the root of your pressure include:

1. What is sustaining the pressure?
2. Who/what is spurring it on?
3. Why/how is it noticeable?
4. Where did it appear from?
5. When and why did it make me feel this way?

I hope these questions help you in becoming more self-aware and taking care. Pressure can be healthy, but when it is too much, it can cause many problems, as it has for me, so be wary!

These methods are taken from my new self-help book — now available as an eBook or paperback on Amazon — get your copy of Chill Out and Cheer Up: A Ten-Step Guide today.

It’s been described as a “book that doesn't teach you anything new, but guides you as a friend.”