5 Non-Productive Tips for Pro-Procrastinators
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time — Marthe Troly-Curtin
Procrastination, a phenomenon that is widely distributed among the population of the modern world. People find it harder to stay productive while experiencing this phenomenon and even more hard to stay focused. The people who adopt this behavior are called Procrastinators. These people are known as the toughest of the tough, the hardest cookies of all. Scientists are still baffled at this sub-specie, meanwhile trying ways to document their behavior to better study and deal with this phenomenon productively.
They are notorious for being nonproductive but so far, little do we know about the techniques that can channel them effectively.
Here are 5 non-productive tips for pro-procrastinators to hit it up a notch.
Don’t wake up, just don’t.
Getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do for a procrastinator, and let’s be honest it feels like a rock has been placed upon your body, and you can’t even get up. You look towards your phone screen as you open your eyes waiting for that little bell icon to go “ting ting ting”. So that you can gain some form of gratification, alas that isn’t gonna happen. Because today is not your lucky day, well guess what let’s use this unluckiness in our favor shall we and confine ourselves in the moral boundaries of our bedroom kingdom.
Take that pillow and just stack them, lay down on those pillows and close your eyes, meanwhile counting to ten; and sleep.
*Queue Suspense Music* Well you can’t sleep, can you now
No worries, we can take care of that too, I think 😅. Let’s just stare at the ceiling for now, or look towards the window feeling that constipated, fuzzy feeling in our chest and our eyes meanwhile trying to rotate and maneuver ourselves on the bed, trying to adjust our belly on that sweet soft, spot. Ah there it is, If you were successful(a pipe dream), well now you can try closing your eyes again.
4 hours later — you wake up all of a sudden, close your eyes; adjust — repeat
Go to the kitchen, open up the fridge
Roaming around the house aimlessly might help becoming more nonproductive more than ever, the best feeling is looking into the abyss meanwhile opening the fridge and looking into the beyond, and seeing and feeling the pointlessness of it all. Stay as long as you can, unless you want to get humiliated by your mum, that might be a bit productive but that’ll defeat the purpose perhaps, doing this a few times and not eating anything at all can be a good way of releasing all that bent up energy.
I could ski in that ice landscape so much, as a kid. You should try too!
Roam outside, like a mindless zombie
Brains, yeah you know the feeling right. That mentally frustrated drained feeling of that sick taste in your mouth frivolously loafing here and there, trying to find that purpose, you’re not gonna get it. Just walking here and there, like an undead corpse… You might even utter the magic words, “Baaah, Baah” — although you might sound like a sheep still, you get the idea, don’t you 😉?
To amp it up, perhaps go outside or just lie down on the ground, and look towards the sky or the sun-light, that might give you some energy perhaps to rest, and be a nonproductive rock star, like a battery perhaps that just keeps charging but doesn’t do anything.
Sleep, Roam, Eat — Repeat
Being nonproductive still demands some productivity, let’s see it that way. You’re still being productive by being nonproductive, it does yield results somehow, there is still an impact to be made, although I don’t know where it might be probably waiting in the ether to come out as always but yeah when you feel miserable, depressed and even feel really low and you know that most people around you aren’t gonna understand when you explain your situation, well these are the tips that you need to follow, as they will definitely help you in becoming a Pro-Procrastinator.
You can improvise as you see fit the above-mentioned techniques, but I believe you’re gonna choose the wiser option i.e. I forgot what that was, as I paused for a few seconds, well that just happened again. Well you know now to implement these methods and I’ll tell you this, that it all works without a hassle👍, so have at it!
Lastly, I’d leave with a few motivational words — Strength, Courage, Morality, Hardships, Patience, Perseverance, Laziness — Own it! or Don’t!?
