5 Mental Frameworks for a “HELL YEAH!” Life
3 years of notes squeezed into 7 minutes
Four years ago, I was lost.
I was in a soul-sucking job, and I hated where my life was going.
Today, I write for a living, hike with friends, and have been with my girlfriend for close to three years.
So what changed?
I want to share seven frameworks with you. I’ve put these together with the help of best-selling books, blogs, and podcasts.
By the end, I hope you’ll be ready to live your “HELL YEAH!” life.
“If you’re not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, say no.
“When deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything less than ‘Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!’— then say no.”
#1: Stand For Something Greater Than You
“As Marcus wiped regurgitated eggnog off the side of the Uber, he was warmed by a feeling of being needed, for he now knew that being a man meant stepping up to the plate not once but in perpetuity.
“And even having a plate to step up to made him as lucky as a person can get.”
— Love Life, Final Episode, Season Two
For the longest time, I wanted to travel the world.
But when I got the chance, the novelty wore off. I missed my family and friends. I missed my routines.
It’s something John warns “laptop warriors” before they jet set:
“If you want meaning, stop worshipping freedom…
“Those ‘laptop warriors’ traveling around the world, blogging about their lack of commitments. I’m sure they mean well, but what are they building? What is their legacy? What roots have they planted?”
— John P. Weiss
My gut response after reading this quote was, “Screw you, John!”
I wanted him to be wrong — but I’m not sure he is.
Rather than worshipping freedom, there’s something to be said for commitment.
People I admire stand for things.
For example, Venetia La Manna is a “recovering fast fashion addict” who supports sustainable living. She’s taken a stance and campaigns against fast fashion brands.
You don’t have to stand for something as noble as this.
Simply try on different causes.
I recently became a member of Tim’s Club — a non-profit that’s dedicated to supporting those with special needs to lead a full, purposeful life.
#2: Subtle Fame > Actual Fame
“I don’t want to be well known. I want to be known well.”
— Shaan Puri
Me and my girlfriend were dining in New York when something caught her eye. She leaned across the table.
Don’t turn around, but I know that couple over there!
Of course, I peeked over my shoulder. The couple in question were intimate, and no one had gone over to say hi, but my girlfriend’s legs were jangling.
They’re a big deal!
She told me that the young couple wrote books together. They have an engaged following on Instagram, and my girlfriend was one of them. She would have said hi, but she didn’t want to disturb them.
It was at this moment we coined “Subtle Fame”.
Subtle Fame is when the occasional person might come up to you in the street to say thank you for your work, but you’re not bombarded every time you step outside.
Sounds dreamy to me.
#3: Big North Stars + Small Daily Goals = Road to Success
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our life.”
— Annie Dillard
When I committed to freelancing, I had a few “North Stars”.
I wanted to make $5K/month. I wanted to work from anywhere, anytime. And I wanted to spend time with my family and friends.
But more importantly, I set myself five small daily goals. I call them “feeling goals” because they make me feel good:
— Going to the gym during off-peak hours
— Waking up without an alarm
— Showering during the day
— Zero client meetings
— 3-hour workdays
My ideal life might be your idea of hell — and that’s okay. There are billions of combinations.
You just have to know what yours is and go get it!
“If you expect criticism in advance, and take pride in your unusual stance, you can bash on with a smile, being who you want to be.”
— Derek Sivers
After all, you’re going to see a lot of stuff that’ll make you question your life choices.
So knowing what you don’t want is just as important.
No shade on this guy, but if I had kids, I’m pretty sure I’d watch them play instead of responding to randomers on LinkedIn:
#4: Play Your Game
“You can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything.”
— Ray Dalio
The chances are I won’t be a millionaire anytime soon.
And I’m okay with that.
I don’t want to spend my life on social media, managing lots of people, and staring at a computer for 10 hours a day.
Instead, I’m prioritising things like my writing.
“[…] If you have momentum traders in short positions, they don’t care if Google has a higher price a year from now […]
“They don’t care about fundamentals […]
“What they care about is the market sentiment or behaviour driving up the price. They can then sell tomorrow or a week later.
“It’s important to know the motivations and the games of other participants […] If you have a different time horizon, your way of relating that to that is totally different […]
“For instance, can I guess correctly whether a stock’s going to go up or down by what percentage over the next week? No.
“Over a year? No, probably not […]
“Do I think there are certain technologies that are going to become more pervasive in a five- to ten-year stretch? And if I invest in companies that are investing in those areas, do I have a high degree of confidence they’re going to go up? Yep […]
“That’s all the homework I need to do.”
Remember that your goals and dreams will be different from mine, and they’ll be different from your friends and family.
And that’s okay.
You’re playing a different game.
#5: Boring Is The Strategy
“Average people are the best. That’s why God made so many of them.”
— Michael Scott (The Office)
I’ve been creating content — week in, week out — since September 2018. I made my first £1.86 two years later.
In my courses, I talk about patience. It’s one of the first things I say. Nothing good happens overnight. Take your time.
I repeat this same boring advice:
Outside of content, there are examples everywhere.
Stan Lee created his first comic at age 39. Ray Croc bought a burger joint when he was 52. (It became Mcdonald’s.) Samuel L. Jackson got his Hollywood break at the age of 43.
“You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile.”
— Brian Tracy
And if you’re putting in these tiny efforts, it helps to switch off completely once in a while.
Last month, I spent the week in Paris with my girlfriend and her family.
Takeaways
I’m typing this in a cafe.
On a Friday afternoon.
Having just worked out with my personal trainer.
It feels good living life on my terms — not by arbitrary rules made up by a CEO or manager. And I feel like I’m edging closer to my “HELL YEAH!” life.
Here are the five mental frameworks so you can do the same:
- #1: Stand For Something Greater Than You — This doesn’t have to be something grand or noble, but standing for something makes life more meaningful. “Real living is living for others.” — Bruce Lee
- #2: Subtle Fame > Actual Fame — I’d rather be known well than well-known, but you may disagree. This leads us to points #3 and #4…
- #3: Big North Stars + Small Daily Goals = Road to Success — My feeling goals may be completely different to yours, and that’s okay. We all have different measures of success.
- #4: Play Your Game — Decide what you want and go for it. It may be different from everyone else.
- #5: Boring Is The Strategy — “You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile.”— Brian Tracy
Want to ditch the 9–5? Get my free 19-page guide: Everything I Did to Quit My 9–5 Job & Transition Into Profitable, Sustainable Solopreneuring :)