5 Mantras for Overcoming Self-Doubt and Post-Project Depression

How to celebrate your creative journey and success

There’s a story about Pablo Picasso that claims he had been caught on numerous occasions painting over his artwork that hung in prestigious museums. A painting that could be sold for millions was forever flawed and unfinished in the eyes of its creator.

While we may never understand his staggering success, we can all relate to this feeling of inadequacy. It’s comforting to know that even Picasso never mastered the fine art of letting go, but you have to wonder…

Why are we so insecure about our achievements? And why do we insist on creating when our creations leave us lackluster?

In the words of Rainer Maria Rilke, “If you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple ‘I must’ then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour.”

And that’s the motto of every radical artistic person you’ll meet. We put every ounce of energy into a single project, in hopes of receiving the validation we’ve been desperately scrounging hidden corners of the earth for.

But when we finally finish, whether it has taken three weeks, ten years, or a lifetime, we suddenly feel depleted. There’s an emptiness, a hole inside that, I suppose, was there all along but felt as though it was being filled by the productivity of our work.

Releasing a creative project into the world is likened to “giving birth.” Similar to postpartum depression in mothers, psychologists have coined the term post-creative or post-project depression. The exhaustion and lack of control we feel once the project is completed and up for review is often inevitable. And most artists never receive the critical acclaim they desire or deserve.

So, how can we stop the vicious cycle and begin celebrating our success? We must remember the power of our own words.

Repeat these 5 mantras to prevent the inevitable sadness that comes along with success.

[Art] is my form of self-expression but it doesn’t define or detain me.

Creativity = catharsis. It’s the visceral way in which we communicate and express ourselves. We all search for purpose and individuality, proof that our thoughts, emotions, and time here on Earth actually matters. Whether it’s hitting a world record or gracing the cover of Rolling Stone, we all want to leave our mark.

Now imagine this. A tortured artist, lying on his deathbed, muttering, “But… it was… my life’s work,” and dying alone on a mattress of unfulfilled dreams because nobody ever understood the intricacy of his sculptures.

Our mental health dictates our experience so when our emotions are out of whack, it shows in our art. And while some of the most beautiful work has been a product of mortal melancholy, the same sadness has been the demise of many Greats.

Your hobbies and passions don’t define your life. They don’t determine the true meaning or quality of it. Even your source of income should not be considered “what you do for a living.” Work is work. Living is living. Yes. Art is important, but it’s a reflection of our life’s purpose, not the purpose itself.

Once you have this first mantra cemented into your brain, you’ll take some of the pressure off the outcome of your artistry in order to enjoy the creative process as a whole.

I have dreams of changing the world, but it starts with one person at a time.

Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve struck gold? In her novel Big Magic, author Elizabeth Gilbert analogizes creative inspiration as invisible bubbles that float above our heads. If we don’t reach up and grab them, the ideas drift away towards another creative soul to harness and pursue.

I’ve experienced these outside forces at work. An idea crashes over me like a wave and if I don’t drop everything to jot it down, it’ll be gone forever. In the moment before I start taking notes, the idea feels like pure, earth-shattering genius. I get a feeling in my chest like, this is it. This is the article that will go viral. This is the film script that will change the world.

Right then and there, I know, I’m doomed for disappointment.

You need to set obtainable goals first. Changing the minds of millions and ridding the world of racism, sexism, bigotry, and all other evils isn’t a reasonable objective. Start small and be specific.

Instead of trying to move the masses, focus on one person. For seasoned Medium writer, Jordan Gross, it’s his grandmother. In Zulie Rane’s interview about Earning Money by Editing on Medium, Jordan says, “I’m just going to try to write my best for myself… and if she’ll read them and love them, then that’s good enough for me.” This simple outlook has earned Jordan nearly 10,000 followers, Top Writer of eight Medium topics including Creativity and Life Lessons, an editing position at Mind Cafe, and countless viral articles.

Maybe you make art strictly for yourself. I spent seven years writing songs on the piano that I refused to share with anyone. Like journaling, it was a cathartic and private experience. Looking back, I probably enjoyed playing more before I started posting my music on social media. Nonetheless, the positive feedback I received was infectious. It felt good.

So, maybe you share your art to impress a loved one or to prove an old boss wrong. Sometimes, success is the best revenge. Whoever it’s intended for, let them be enough.

I create to relate, but art is subjective and I am the only critic that concerns me.

Some people will love what you do, others won’t care at all. And that’s just something you have to accept.

Take the iconic film Scarface, for example. While it was a hit at the box office, many big movie critics of the time, such as Leonard Maltin, strongly disliked its course language and unnecessary violence. The film was largely dismissed and forgotten by mainstream audiences until years later when it developed a cult following and became a classic gangster film.

I’ll never forget what happened after I watched Shia Labeouf and Evan Rachel Wood’s forgotten film, The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. I was alone in my Boston apartment and crying ten minutes into the first scene.

After the credits rolled, I started Googling every scrap of information I could find about the making of and mastermind behind this film. I was quickly escorted down the rabbit-hole of Youtube, learning about how Evan trained for her (some might call offensive) Russian accent, or how Shia was really rolling when his character took Ecstasy in the hostel scene. I thought the script was so well-written and acted. Maybe I was just emotionally vulnerable the night I watched it, but it struck a heartstring. So I told everyone and their mother to Watch. This. Film. My mother, my sister, my best friends all took my recommendation, but no one really liked it. I couldn’t believe it. I was both confused and slightly offended.

Which is why you can’t give up if the first critic thinks it’s a flop. Look at Hamilton. Renée Elise Goldsberry who plays the major role of Angelica admits in an interview that she wasn’t thrilled to audition. What she considered to be a bizarre theatrical concept went on to become one of the most profitable Broadway musicals of all time.

If Lin-Manuel Miranda had been discouraged, he wouldn’t have spent seven years perfecting every song in that collection. But he believed in himself, and look where that got him.

If the creative process gets me high, I’ll accept and seek pleasure in the comedown.

Addictions — whether to drugs, gambling, sex, or shopping — evoke a sensation of euphoria. We experience similar elation in flow state, where “a person performing an activity is fully immersed in energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.”

Finishing a project and being evicted from that blissful creative high feels a lot like what drug addicts call crashing. It’s the ultimate comedown and the misery is both mental and physical. Symptoms include anxiety, depression, a deep sense of disappointment, and aloofness triggered by the return to reality.

Many actors in roles of popular TV series and film sagas confess that, post-production, they often experience withdrawal from the character they had played for so long. For Elizabeth Gilbert, finishing her very successful memoir Eat, Pray, Love provoked total fear and panic that she may never create anything else worth reading.

When you’re in flow, the possibilities are endless and the potential of that piece’s success appears infinite. When we finish a project, no matter how lucrative or impactful it may become, it’s never quite as impressive as what we had in mind. Understanding that this feeling is both normal and natural among artists is the first step in combatting it.

I do not need validation in the form of fame or recognition. Self-love suffices.

Stop comparing yourself to icons. Stop comparing yourself to anyone. In this relatively new era of social media, the fame pool has grown exponentially as “influencers,” who don’t need any talent to build a fanbase, take over. They curate perfect feeds through staged photographs and pass it off as real life.

And as the number of influencers increases, the severity of social media addiction does too. According to a new study by Harvard University, self-disclosure on social networking sites lights up the same part of the brain that ignites when taking an addictive substance. And what are we doing on social media besides stalking each other and comparing ourselves?

A study performed by California State University found that individuals who used social media at least 58 times per week were 3 times more likely to feel socially isolated and depressed compared to those who used social media fewer than 9 times per week.

So cut down your consumption of social media and any platforms that make you feel insignificant or jealous. I find Instagram, in particular, to be toxic to my self-esteem and productivity, so I deactivate it for months at a time. If Facebook is your trigger, take a break and remember we all have something to offer. Don’t compare and despair, admire and be inspired by what you see. Our experiences and the eclectic sum of our muses are what make our own creativity unique and invaluable.

Liv is a Top Writer in Travel, navigating the mockery of 2020 while sharing advice and confessions from around the globe.

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