5 Little Habits to Get What You Want in Life
People will spend your time for you if you let them
Have you ever felt defeated and ready to give up?
Have you ever arrived at a place in life where you said, “What’s the point?” It’s a lousy place to be, and a lot of us have been there, so you’re not alone.
One of the problems with sharing life advice is that our lives and circumstances are different. And so are everyone’s aptitudes and talents.
But good habits often transcend our differences.
To that end, here are five little habits that have made a huge difference in my life. Hopefully, they’ll help you too.
1. Simplify
We live in an age best described as “The tyranny of choices.”
Think about it.
Everywhere you go, and everywhere you look, there are endless choices. When I was a kid we had five television channels. Now there are hundreds.
People used to be able to fix their cars, but now cars are too complicated. Even expert mechanics must rely on computerized diagnostics.
Have you picked up a mirrorless camera lately?
I bought a Sony and the menus were so deep and complicated, I fled to YouTube for tutorials. But there were so many tutorials, and each sent me down rabbit holes of complexity and confusion.
Ugh.
The answer to all of this complexity is to simplify every aspect of your life. For me, it began when I discovered minimalism a few years ago. I evaluated what was important to me, how I spent my time, and what I could shed to better focus on my goals and happiness.
I simplified my wardrobe and learned how to pack light for travel. My wife and I sold our house and we moved to a more affordable area. We decluttered our home.
We focus on simple pleasures like books.
In short, to get more of what you want in life, shed the things that are weighing you down and holding you back.
Develop the habit of simplifying every aspect of your life.
2. Say no
I used to hate disappointing people, and I wanted to be liked.
So, I typically said yes to others when they asked things of me. But then one day I read the following quote:
“People will spend your time for you if you let them.”
We all have 24 hours in a day.
How you spend your time dictates what you’ll accomplish. Do you want to accomplish other people’s goals or your own?
I was once a member of my local Rotary club. It’s a fine organization that helps a lot of people.
But it took a lot of my time.
I agonized over leaving the club because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. And they were eyeing me for a leadership position. But finally, I told them I was leaving.
I decided to say no, and use the time previously devoted to Rotary to pursue my writing, artwork, and photography. It was the right choice for me.
The trick to saying no is to do it gracefully. Thank others for asking, but tell them that you have other priorities.
Develop a habit of saying no, to prioritize what matters most to you. Doing so will help you get more out of life.
3. Beware of comfort and conformity
The couch is like a demonic power that saps our energy, destroys our ambition, and roots us in unhealthy snacking and NCIS reruns.
The La-Z-boy recliner is no better.
No doubt, there are times when we need to decompress, zone out, and relax. But when such times become the default, at the expense of our goals, then we’ve fallen victim to comfort and conformity.
Last year I read a book titled “Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds,” by David Goggins.
Goggins is a retired Navy SEAL who also completed U.S. Army Ranger School and Air Force tactical air controller training. He is an endurance athlete who competes in ultra-marathons, triathlons, ultra-triathlons, and more.
Despite being overweight and having endured a dysfunctional childhood and racism, Goggins learned how to master his mind and change his life. And a big part of that success was avoiding comfort and conformity.
A comfy couch, bag of Doritos, and TV remote beckon the best of us. And it’s hard to say no when coworkers or friends tempt us to go out partying.
But what if we hit the gym instead? What if we used that time to hone our creative abilities, or finally get a jump start on our entrepreneurial dreams?
Yes, sometimes it’s important to invest in relationships by socializing. And sometimes we just need to zone out on the couch.
Sometimes.
Learn to beware of comfort and conformity. Don’t give in to laziness and doing what everyone else is doing.
Your dreams are counting on you.
4. Stop the blame game
It’s so much easier to blame someone else.
If we’re honest, we’ve all done it at one time or another. But blame is like hot coal in our hand. We can throw it at someone else, but we still get burned.
The habit of blaming others will hold you back.
Even when others may have played a part in your failure, it’s not their job to live your life for you. It’s up to you to make something of yourself.
Take the energy you would have used to blame others and focus instead on conducting an autopsy. Pick apart the corpse of your failure and figure out what went wrong.
Then fix it.
Stop the blame game, fix your flaws, work around obstacles, and make your dreams a reality.
5. Action trumps planning
There comes a point when it’s time to execute.
Planning is important, to identify the goal and the best steps to get there. But sooner or later you have to take action.
Learn to avoid paralysis from over-analysis.
I’ve seen many people in my professional career who shot themselves in the foot because they spent way too much time planning, and not enough time taking action.
Action trumps planning. And often, if the action turns out wrong, you learn something along the way. Then, you can regroup, and get it right the next time.
Develop the habit of taking action, and you’ll more likely get what you want out of life.
To recap:
- Simplify
- Say no
- Beware comfort and conformity
- Stop the blame game
- Action trumps planning
Adopt these five little habits. They helped me retire early to pursue a life of writing, artwork, and photography.
Imagine what they might do for you.
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss. I draw cartoons, shoot photos, and write elegant stories and essays about life. To follow along, check out The Saturday Letters.
