5 Life Principles to Share with 20-Somethings (Hopefully When they Ask)
Life begins when you know yourself
My husband and I are now empty-nesters. Our one chick-a-dee (i.e., daughter) has flown the coop and our life has returned to those days before children.
I hope and pray that we have taught her the basics of living a good life.
On the off chance that she will read this article, I offer my five core principles that have guided me through life’s ups and downs. These principles are not listed in any order or preference; instead, they follow a logical sequence that hopefully makes sense to a twenty-something :-)
First Principle — Watch Your Thoughts
When you are finally “adulting,” it can be intimidating. You now have to make all of your decisions (when to get up, how often to do laundry, when to turn off social media so you can sleep).
When you realize that you only have to answer to yourself, that’s the turning point. An important step is identifying what is important to you and what do you value in yourself and others.
Why? Because when you focus on your priorities and you know your values, your thoughts, words, and actions will be aligned.
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits; Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. — Lao-Tze
“Adulting” is not all about going to work and paying the bills. Now that you are supporting yourself, you no longer have to answer to your parents. You only have to answer to yourself.
Know your core values and live by them. Examples of values are honesty, trustworthiness, and generosity. When you know your values, it makes decisions easier. If reliability is a value, going out partying the night before a big presentation at work isn’t living reliability.
Second Principle — Learn and Grow
Now that you are on your own, take time to process what happens to you. You will make mistakes — that is one of life’s guarantees. It’s what you learn from your mistakes that will determine the quality of your life.
A key component of living a great life is not dwelling in the past. After you have learned from your mistakes, use the lesson, not the incident, to support you as you move forward.
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. -Albert Einstein
Especially when you are first starting out, you may stumble or run up against an obstacle. The key is to identify what went wrong and learn from it. As you continue to improve your self-awareness, you generate trust in who-you-are.
Life is never easy for anyone. Look at Prince Harry — he belongs to the British Royal Family but he lost his mother when he was 12 years old. Everyone has something tragic or negative happen to them; learn from it and move on.
Third Principle — You Are in Charge of How You Respond
Have you noticed when people complain? If you are supportive, their mood may even impact you and your thinking. Hang around negative people long enough and you will notice that you have adopted their perspective and lost your own.
The opposite is true — hang around positive people and you will become more positive.
At some point, you will discover the balance between positive and negative. What feels authentic to you? Who do you want to influence with your presence?
Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. — Charles Swindoll
Don’t take your cues of how to respond from other people. That makes you a sheep instead of a leader. If there is gossip at work or among your friends, check to see if gossip and judgment are core values. Then go back and revisit #1 and #2 above.
Only you can decide how you are going to respond to anything. Look for the positive aspects of any situation and you will find them. BTW, if you haven’t watched “Ted Lasso,” it’s a great series about lifting up others and being consistently optimistic.
Fourth Principle — Discover Why You Are Here
If you are like most twenty-somethings, you have been told what to do your entire life. While that was your parent’s job when you were younger, now it’s time to find out why you are on the planet.
How do you do that? By following your curiosity and interests. Yes, you have to work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pursue a passion for art or music in your free time. Expand your knowledge and skills and you will discover your “why.”
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. — Mark Twain
Your life is your adventure, not what your parents or teachers told you. The only way to discover why you were born is to pursue what interests you, create from your passion, and be aware of what makes you satisfied and successful.
Once you discover your reason for being here, pursue it with a vengeance. As you dive deeper into that work, you will discover more about yourself that you never knew. Staying curious about life and being attuned to when you are in flow are two important aspects of a happy life.
Fifth Principle — Follow Your Definition of Happiness
Finally, when you begin to get excited about a project or pursuit, take the time to feel what you are feeling. Notice what brings on this excitement and do more of that.
Only you can define what a happy life is — for you. As you learn what makes you motivated and alive, you will begin to identify your happiness points. Write them down and refer to them often.
When I was 5 years old, my mother told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life. — John Lennon
Saying you want to live a happy life sounds trite and traditional, definitely not hip or cool. Change the word “happy” to something that resonates with you. For example, “I want to live a meaningful life.”
As your life unfolds, keep these principles in mind. With awareness, attention, and focus, you will grow into the person you are meant to become.
If you have more to add to this list, please let me know. The shared and combined wisdom of the collective is more powerful than one person’s perspective.
I am a best-selling author, Spiritual Wealth Coach for Women, and creator of online courses. I write about the intersection of spirituality, energy, and the human experience. My latest book is “The Money Tree: Transform Scarcity Thinking to Empowered Wealth Consciousness.” Learn more at EmpoweredWay.com.
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