5 Life Lessons From a Third World Refugee
How a broke, Latin American taught me to live
“You know I gotta tell you something. The government is supposed to send us food rations.”
“Do you get any?”
“No, the officials take all of it.”
“That sounds really shitty.”
“As I told you before, I basically live in Mordor.”
Alessandro Martinez has a really crappy life. He was born and raised in Venezuela, a country on the verge of collapse. And he just graduated from college — with a degree in English — so he didn’t have the best job prospects. After all, his country needed a lot more than English teachers.
He ended up escaping to Colombia, working for an online Spanish tutoring company. As fate would have it, I was trying to learn Spanish for months. At the same time, he got hired, I decided to try out the company, where I took my first trial lesson with him.
When we first met, we had a lot of similar interests: philosophy, martial arts, literature, etc. So after a few sessions, we hit it off.
Throughout our sessions for six months, I became fluent in Spanish and learned a few life lessons along the way from him.
Life Lesson 1: Skills Take Time
“Sounds like you need a lot of practice.”
I was sitting at the university cafe at 2 A.M., practising Spanish with Alessandro through Zoom. I had just finished studying my coursework.
“I want to learn Spanish in three months!”
“Three months? Bullshit. I’d say six months. Everything I ever learned — cooking, kickboxing, etc. — took around six months.”
“That’s a really long time.”
“Trust me. For a while, you’ll feel like you’re not learning anything. But I know we’re making progress. Just keep drilling.”
According to Josh Kaufmann, the author of The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business, it takes around 20 hours to learn a new skill. And even though Malcolm Gladwell popularized the concept of 10,000 hours to get good at a skill, you also need feedback from an experienced teacher. It takes more than just practice. There’s a lot of factors into play. In the end, you have to find what works best for you.
But one thing is for sure: deliberate practice under an experienced tutor helps.
Life Lesson 2: Certificates Don’t Mean Anything
I was thinking about taking a certified Spanish test until Alessandro told me this story:
“You see I don’t really believe in those exams. I was reading this article about Japanese students “excelling” in English. But in truth, they just memorize basic grammar to pass exams.”
He basically said language certificates, and by a large degree, other certificates were pretty pointless. It’s really simple when it comes to languages: you either know it or you don’t.
And even though we live in a credentials-based society, Alessandro made me realize that just because you have a certificate or degree, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have the skills. As a matter of fact, a college degree doesn’t necessarily indicate anything.
Alessandro taught me not to focus necessarily on titles but on the actual skill itself.
Life Lesson 3: Americans Understand Capitalism Too Well
“Most students will quit within months.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like this: Americans think just because they pay for something they deserve the best results. They want me to do all the work. They understand capitalism better than anybody. “
“I mean everything is so easy there. The Americans don’t have a real struggle like Venezuelans do. That’s why they complain about the dumbest things. On the other hand, Venezuelans struggle for food and water. ”
From 2016–17, Americans experienced a 36% jump in anxiety. According to philosopher Alain de Botton, Westerners suffer from status anxiety — worrying about our status in relation to others. These anxieties aren’t helped by the constant 24/7 news cycle and social media, making us feel inadequate among our own peers.
de Botton argues we should accept that anxiety is normal. After doing so, we can share our anxieties with others and realize we’re not so different after all. And we can stop stressing about the littlest things and focus on what really makes us happy.
Life Lesson 4: Be Better Than Normal People
Even though he was only in his mid-20s, Alessandro was pretty wise. Whenever I had problems, I would consult with him. In some ways, he became my online therapist. And he said the same damn thing each time:
“All I know is this: be better than normal people.”
“What do normal people do?”
“You know already. They lash out their emotions, get stressed easily, don’t clearly think about the situation, etc.”
His advice was simple: don’t be like that.
Life Lesson 5: Teachers Don’t Care If You Learn
“I’m going to tell you a secret.”
“Okay.”
“Teachers don’t care if you learn.”
“What about all the other tutors on the website?”
“I’m pretty sure they don’t care about either. Not even private tutors.”
When I think about it now, it seems pretty obvious that teachers, at least the ones in formal schooling, wouldn’t care that much. After all, they’ve got dozens of students to think about besides you.
When Alessandro told me this, it was a radical idea to me. And I’ve always kept it in the back of my mind to motivate me to work harder, regardless of who’s watching.
After all, you’re the only person watching yourself, in and out of the classroom.
“There’s a saying in my country: give a man a house, a beautiful girl, and a good job, and he’ll give up everything.”
“That’s a good point.”
“That’s not a saying from my country. I just made it up, so I didn’t have to sound like a smartass.”
After he said that, I started to burst out laughing. It was one of our last sessions together. A week later, Alessandro announced,
“Hey, the company fired me. I’m moving back to Venezuela.”
“Oh shit, how can I help?”
“Please pray for me.”
After escaping back to Venezuela from Colombia, Alessandro basically now hides out in his room. He’s hoping the COVID-19 pandemic will be over so that he can move to Chile.
But regardless of where he is, I know that Alessandro will continue to be a great friend, mentor, and teacher. In and out of the classroom.
