5 Lessons I Recalled from My Grandfather in His Last 5 Months

You should be able to sleep well with a clear conscience.

When my grandfather got cancer in August 2020, we knew that time is ticking. The doctor told us he has six months and he passed away 6.5 months later. During this time, I introspected all that I have learnt from him over the years.

These aren’t the things he taught me, but this is how he led life.

He was in the army and then the police force. When he passed away, a vast range of officers from the police forces came to pay their condolence to our family and they all said the same thing,

“He never did anything ill and didn’t deserve to suffer the way he did, what a great man.”

Maybe our loss was heaven’s gain.

But the way he led his life gives us all some things to rethink and repurpose, and re-act. Funnily, they are all the simple things that we’ve overcomplicated and overlook in today’s time.

1. Choose Acts of Kindness Over Everything

Be there to help people when they need you and expect nothing in return.

Don’t even remind them in the future that you helped them, do it and let it go. Whether it’s giving a helping hand to the poor or helping your own family, don’t think twice.

He did this by doing several things, such as helping poor people from our village in India to get employed to making sure his kids live a well-settled life.

My mother didn’t study after high school and isn’t financially independent so when my parents separated, it's because of him my mom and I have a lovely house we call home today.

2. Don’t Buy It If You Don’t Have the Money for It

You want to buy something and the installment is an easy way to afford it.

However, the pandemic taught us that anything can happen at any time. Plus, have you observed how easy we find it to spend ever since we use more cards than cash these days?

Even experts say that when you’re on your budget, it’s easier to monitor it by using cash.

He did this by never signing up for loans and not resorting to EMIs. He also had an itch if he ever owed anybody money (which is again something he avoided), his priority was to return it for the sake of his own mental peace.

These are simple ways you can avoid money become a source of stress.

3. Your Family Is More Important Than a Piece of Paper

There are countless stories of people fighting and breaking their relations between money and property.

In India, the nation warmly bonds over chai (tea) no matter where you go. And in a collectivist culture like ours, we’d rather have our chai with everybody else when the clock strikes 4 p.m. instead of being all alone. Relationships stay, and everything else is impermanent.

When his brother died, he became the sole male head of the family to who everybody looked up at.

Of course, he could’ve pulled nasty tactics and taken his brother’s share of wealth or manipulate the family to his advantage. But he chose to drink chai with them every single day, and on the days he got late, everybody waited and delayed their chai time.

Blood will always be thicker than water, unless you tamper it.

4. Fighting with Your Spouse Doesn’t Sort the Issue

And when you are in the middle of an argument, screaming to convey how your opinion is better than your partner’s doesn’t help and doesn’t give you a medal.

Even psychologists say,

“When a couple is in this precarious zone, problem solving is highly unlikely, because each person is solely focused on reacting to the perceived threat they feel from their partner.”

He did this by letting one person express themselves and stepping down, and later when things cool down, discuss and solve the issue.

This way, two people actually solve the issue instead of fighting for who’s right.

5. Sleep with a Clear Conscience

And you and I know what the traits of a good person are, but we try to find loopholes in those traits to make ourselves feel better.

We put our best face to be kind to others, but we also gossip about them. We put up a story on Instagram about how the world needs more kindness, but we don’t hesitate to judge and comment on others in our group chats.

At the end of the day, you are all that you’ve got and you should sleep with contentment in your heart from being a nice human.

He did all that he did because that's just who he was; he wasn’t greedy or looked for his advantage; he did good deeds from his heart.

I believe that's why his passing away hurt many strong soldiers he had worked with to serve the country for decades.

Conclusion

Here are five lessons that are forever imprinted in my heart and can help you too to become a better human:

1. Choose acts of kindness over everything
2. Don’t buy it if you don’t have the money for it
3. Your family is more important than a piece of paper
4. Fighting with your spouse doesn’t sort the issue
5. Sleep with a clear conscience

I wish all the happiness and strength to you and your family.

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