5 Lessons I Learned After Struggling for 5 Years in a Military Boarding School
My teenage years were hell but my adulthood is grateful.
I was 13 when my parents put me in a boarding school located in the foothills of the Himalayas. Set across two hill-tops with almost two-centuries-old architecture, there were a lot of history, culture, traditions and ghost stories to this place.
This particular institution was made for the Britishers’ children during the British Raj.
I will skip the boring bit of the history and let you know that the old name for this school was Royal Military College.
Now, the name has changed but the traditions? I wish they did, at least when I was there.
I cried every day begging my parents to take me home. How is a city girl supposed to live in a place where being late by 30 seconds could result in a week of punishment?
Today, I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to get educated here. While any school can make you literate, not all can educate you.
Let me take you through some of the darkest childhood experiences I went through and how they have made my adulthood prosper. And you can too, with the adulthood hacks mentioned.
1. Have Uncompromising Discipline.
We had to wake up at 6:00 a.m., and be out by exact 6:10 a.m. for a cross country run or exercise (depending on the time of the year).
What happens if you go out by 6:12 a.m.?
This could be due to valid reasons such as the line in the washroom to brush your teeth was too long, or you couldn’t find your shoe.
Getting out even a few seconds late was welcomed with one hell of an experience, quite literally.
There were strict punishments, such as:
- Come out at 6:00 a.m. for a week (and stand alone in the cold until everybody else comes)
- Run 2 (or 10) rounds of the sports field
- And other small and brutal things for a teenager
I know this sounds incredibly cruel, but remember that this is a military school. Kids here were trained to be future army men.
Even today, a lot of alumni have a preference to join the armed forces due to the lifestyle we are brought up with.
When at a war, the opposite force doesn’t wait for you to be dressed and then attack you. You have to be alert and punctual at all times.
Adulthood Hack
A routine, plan or a structure always helps us get closer to something we’re trying to achieve in a particular day or just life in general
Leading a disciplined life helps you focus tremendously and get this done.
It also helps you achieve the other four things I have listed below.
“Motivation gets you going, but discipline gets you growing.”
— John C. Maxwell
2. Life Alleviates Out of Your Comfort Zone.
We’ve heard this many times. But what if you’re in a situation when you don’t have a choice?
I was put into a swimming competition when I can barely swim to save my life. In fact, I fear water. I am terrified of water.
Imagine being in the famous London Eye and getting a mini anxiety attack because it’s by river Thames. That’s how fearful I am.
That fine day, I jumped into the deep end of the pool and made it somehow.
This wasn’t the most dangerous activity on facing my fears. The most dreadful time for me was when we were rafting during annual camps. We had to undergo training for safety which included handling the raft if it topples over.
How did we practice that? By standing on one edge and making the raft topple over… Followed by straightening it and getting back in.
It was also mandatory to participate in many other activities which freaked the daylights out of me, such as:
- Public Speaking
- Athletics
- Cross-country run
But there was no choice. So what do you do?
Deal with it.
Adulthood Hack
Have something in mind you’re too scared to pursue?
Go out there and grab it by the button (this isn’t the analogy you expected did you).
Try to make a conscious effort in doing things which make you uncomfortable to the bone, for the heck of it.
Either you’ll like doing it or you’ll learn from it.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
— Dale Carnegie
3. Forced Habits Can (Sometimes) Lead You to Find Your Purpose.
Reading and writing were compulsory.
My English teacher told us that failure to write a compelling creative writing essay will result in writing another essay on ‘My Neighbour’s Pink Cow.’
This was forceful, and also where my love for reading and journaling began. I wanted to write poetry, I wanted to write about almost everything.
Writing became my safe space. Until adulthood took me by the button and dragged me into degrees and jobs.
The modern books term these forced habits as:
- 21 days to develop a new habit
- 66 days to wake up early
- 30-day challenge
These are different phrases to force yourself to do something you don’t feel like doing.
Until it gets ingrained in you.
Adulthood Hack
Pushing yourself to do something you really don’t want to can be the best decision of your life.
I love writing since I was a child, but life happened and I let go.
For the last 30 days, I have pushed myself to sit and write even if I don’t wish to. And I can feel my craft get a lot better than before.
Go and make your craft better or go and get your hands dirty with something new.
The space between where you are and where you want to be is a habit you haven’t worked upon yet.
4. Try Things Only to Find Out That You’re Terrible at Them.
Here are some things I tied my hand at and totally sucked:
- Dramatics
- Chess
- Canvas Painting
I can’t even act for Tik-Tok or Dubsmash. A platform where everybody can act.
I played chess with my younger brother a month ago and wasn’t surprised that I still lose.
My canvas painting — I never tried my hand at it again.
When my painting was displayed in an exhibition my mother told me it’s quite expensive and the art is bland so she’ll pass it.
When I look at these activities I took part in, my face lights up.
It’s not about being terrible at them. It’s about how much fun I had doing them and the memories I made.
Adulthood Hack
It’s okay to not master something and continue to do that because it makes you happy.
Today, because of social media our lives feel like this game where we’re competing with everybody.
Who visits better places, uses great filters, and basically does a great job at portraying perfection.
Outside that screen lies a massive field for you to play in and create whatever the hell you want to.
Do something because you love it. Something which makes you happy and have fun— even if you don’t excel in it.
5. Never Give In.
Remember the cross-country run I told you about?
I came last in it.
I was embarrassed and so afraid of being teased by others. Still, one thing I could not do was stop.
Does a soldier stop defending his territory in a war? Never. We were conditioned to not stop regardless of the circumstances.
I was an unhealthy kid who had PCOD (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and took part in zero physical activities.
Suddenly, I was put on this hilltop to run.
The downward slopes were a relief but very few. The uphill slopes were tiring and present in plenty, right till the end.
But giving up wasn’t an option. One had to finish what they started.
Adulthood Hack
I was trembling while doing a 1-minute plank a few days ago and wanted to give up at 40 seconds.
‘Never give in’, I muttered to myself.
I held the plank until my stopwatch timed out.
There have been many situations in my life where I have been able to apply this, from university assignments to work-life conflicts.
The next time you feel like giving up, hold up just for a little longer.
Whisper to yourself
- I am strong
- Never Give In
You will be surprised at how your body listens and responds with strength.
“You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.”
― Babe Ruth
There are times today when I’m faced with an obstacle but it doesn’t feel as big, because having dealt with tough situations before has made me tougher.
But I don’t feel you have to go through tough situations to feel brave
I believe you can create your own powerhouse of weapons (behaviours) which can be used in the war you (tough times) face.
And win!
Key Takeaways
- Develop a structure and discipline to follow around things that matter.
- Make a conscious effort to do things that make you uncomfortable to the bone.
- Develop a habit and force it even when you don’t want to — chase the passion and results you have put on hold for too long.
- Do something which makes you happy, even if you don’t excel at it.
- Never give in. When you feel like it, hold up for a little longer.
