5 Jokes, about Psychiatrists that are just ROFL! 🤣

Jokes are everywhere, they cause us to engage in humor and laughter.

They sometimes ease the tension, and in most cases do stir the tension but nevertheless they are an essential part of our daily lives… that some of us just can’t live without.

The most stupidest thing in the world is a book of jokes — JC Holland, Everyday Topics,1876

Here are 5 jokes about Psychiatrists & Psychotherapists alike, that you will most definitely enjoy reading.

There are two shrinks, one young & one old, with offices across the hall from each other. Every morning they meet in the lift, both looking pretty good. At the end of the day, when they meet leaving the building, the young shrink whacked whilst the older bloke looks on top of the world. One day the you shrink couldn’t stand it any longer and said to the old shrink,

‘I give up, How do you put up with it? I hear these terrible yarns from my patients all day & just get depressed. What’s your secret?’

The old shrink looked at the young shrink and simply said,

‘I never listen.’

Truth be told

Neurotics build castles in the air.

Psychotics live in them.

Psychiatrists collect the rent.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man than a woman? ell, when it’s time to go back to his childhood he’s already there.

A psychiatrist was visiting a mental institution and whilst on his rounds noticed one of the inmates stabbing a large watermelon viciously with a knife. He asked him what he was up to. The patient replied when he would leave the institution he would become a butcher and so he was practicing on the watermelon. The psychiatrist advised this was excellent therapy and encouraged him to continue.

The next patient was making mud pipes and explained he was going to be a baker when he got out. Once more, the psychiatrist was pleased and encouraged him to continue “the marvelous work”.

When he got to the next patient he was surprised to see that he had his prick jammed in pack of biscuits. “What are you doing?” — he asked.

“Well, I’m never gonna get out of here because i’m fucking crackers”. — The patient replied earnestly.

The Psychiatrist spoke in calm reassuring tones to his worried looking patient. “What we’re going to do now is … I’ll draw something on this piece of paper, and I want you to tell me what it means regarding your perspective. Okay? Taking his pen gently, the psychiatrist draws a single short line on the paper. “What is that?” he asked.

“That’s a clergyman masturbating,” replied the patient, after a few seconds of visualization. “All right now, what’s this?” said the shrink as he drew two short parallel lines on the paper. “Those are two lesbian nuns having sex.” “Well” said the psychiatrist, as he drew three short parallel lines on the paper. “What do you see now?” “Filthy bastards!” exclaimed the patient staring at the last drawing in shock. “That’s two priests with a nun between them, and they’re both having sex with her.”

Looking directly at his patient, the psychiatrist slowly replaced his pen on the desk. “It’s a good thing you’ve come to see me, you’re badly in need of treatment.”

“I’m in need of treatment?” shouted his patient. “That’s really a shitty way to put it! You’re the one who’s going around drawing filthy pictures.”