5 Harsh Truths About Life You Don’t Want To Hear
They might hurt now but eventually will make you a better person.
A wealthy man once took his son on a trip to the country.
The man wanted to show how the poor people lived and wanted his son to learn from that. They visited a farm and the son spent the day there. After the visit, he asked
Did you notice how poor people live?
“Yes, dad.” He replied.
“We have a cat, they have six of them. We have a pool and they dip in an endless river. We have a small piece of land and they have long stretches of fields. We need a high fence and camera to protect us. They have their friends protecting them. We buy food and they grow it.”
The dad was shocked. Before he could say anything, the son said —
“Thank you dad for showing how poor we are.”
The story shows that the definition of wealth varies from person to person. For one, it was about material belongings. For his son, wealth was about natural resources and people.
Interestingly, both the answers have truth in them. The true answer lies in the balance, not the extreme.
Let’s have a look at the 5 harsh truths that can set you free.
Money can buy happiness but happiness becomes more expensive as we go
Can money buy happiness? Yes, it can.
Someone who’s struggling to get food on the table or find a roof understands how much happiness money can bring. For all of us, the necessities need to be met before we can enjoy our lives.
Money can improve our standard of living and thus make our lives happier. There are three things money can do —
- Helps us afford necessities and maintain an average standard of living
- Allows us to purchase luxuries that make us happy like expensive trips, devices, etc.
- Enables us to buy time so that we can do more of what we love
Without money, life’s struggles become too much.
Once you have enough to handle the struggles, money’s utility starts going down. It allows you to pay for luxury and get occasional highs from those purchases.
Beyond that, it can free up your time by allowing you to leave your 9–5 and hiring help to do chores.
But after that, money becomes a number that doesn’t do much.
Happiness depends more on four other pillars ( that are often more difficult to manage than money)
Can you enjoy life if you are unwell all the time? Or if you work 7 days a week for 18 hours a day?
If the following four pillars are weak in your life, you will have a shaky life —
- Good physical health (Health is wealth)
- Enough time to do what we love
- People, we want to spend time with
- A healthy & positive mind to accept our surroundings in a positive light
Good health and enough time will enable you to do that and explore different avenues of life. Warren Buffet says that he can buy everything but not time. Even for one of the wealthiest people on earth, time dictates what he can do.
People are essential parts of your life. Even for introverts, having people we love spending time with is essential. Even for temporary happiness, people in our life are crucial.
I once went on a white water rafting with a group of 6 friends (and my spouse). If we hadn’t visited in a group, we wouldn’t have had the option to take part in that memorable activity.
On top of that, your mind should be able to accept the positives of life and keep the negatives at bay. Life will keep on posing problems. If you get too bogged down with them, then everything else will seem bleak.
Getting something will only make you happy temporarily
Dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, controls the rewards system of our brain.
When we achieve something, be it a promotion or a weight loss goal, or a good meal, our brain releases dopamine. We then feel good and associate the achievement as the source of feeling good.
The problem with this approach is, dopamine-induced happiness is temporary.
The achievements are also usually quite far off from each other. You can’t get promoted every month. Or buy a new car every week. So, you are postponing happiness for a temporary spike.
To use dopamine to your advantage, you should create small rewards for yourself throughout the day and the week.
Give yourself rewards for doing the tough but necessary jobs. Your brain will associate the tough work with feel-good factors.
Creating micro-rewards throughout the day and week also makes you feel good for most of the day.
Life will get really difficult for you, no matter what you do
Can you have a painless, stress-free & easy life? You can’t even if you try to play safe.
Every day, the water in the sea goes through ebb and flow. On one part of the day, water comes in abundance and floods the beach. Then it goes far away from the shore.
Life is similar to this —
- You will have phases in life when money comes in abundance
- There are times when you’ll feel full of physical energy
- You’d also have times when your life would be filled with people who love you unconditionally
But then, every resource and everything good starts going away. You can lose money, time, energy, and people. They can all come back later but the bad times can be brutal enough to change you permanently.
To reduce the risk of such situations, do what salt farmers do.
Salt farmers capture seawater during flow and convert that into resources they can utilize (farm and sell salt) during the ebb. When we have an abundance of money, time, people, and energy, we should use them to prepare for rainy days.
With money, you should place investments for difficult days. With people, you should create and maintain bridges that will help us out of difficult situations. With time, you should aim for maximum output per activity. With energy, you should do that harder tasks that will be difficult at another time.
Your mind is your biggest enemy unless you make it your friend
When you overthink, write it down. When you underthink, read.
Your mind can make the easiest things most complicated. Your mind can also oversimplify things. It can paint an otherwise positive life negative. It can destroy your relationships, career, and overall life.
Author of Atomic Habits, James Clear once said,
When you choose who to follow on Twitter, you are choosing your future thoughts.
We become what we eat. Similarly, our minds become what it consumes.
If you spend too much time on social media, you will get influenced by the trends. If you take in negative thoughts and news from newspapers and people all the time, you’ll keep on thinking about those only.
You can keep your mind fresh by feeding it positive thoughts, practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and meditating.
It’s also recommended to talk to professionals if you need them. They can help sort out lots of deeply rooted issues.
Final thoughts
Life is a complex game with many positives, hidden rewards, and obvious incentives.
It’s also riddled with a web of negativity, problems, and challenges.
Like expert jugglers, we need to practice how to manage these aspects of life. We need to learn to use patience, not only during bad times but also during times of abundance.
Only then can you have a satisfying and happy life.
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