5 Hard Truths That Slap You in the Face After A Breakup

Knowing them might keep you from going back for more.

It happens to the best of us.

Things are going great…tick, tick, tick…then BOOM. The breakup happens.

Whether it’s been a long time coming, or a sudden ice out, parting ways with someone you love is a bucket of life lessons that can only be learned by walking on the broken glass that is the breakup fallout.

You’ll learn from it all, but more importantly, there are a few hard truths you may be faced with as you look in the mirror to make sense of it all.

Some of them aren’t easy pills to swallow either.

If they wanted you, they’d be with you

Let that sink in. Resist the urge to list off a notebook full of “reasons” why it’s just not that simple.

While there may be some complicating circumstances, the truth is, it’s really pretty clear.

People who want to do things or want to be with someone will walk through fire to make it happen.

They move mountains for what they want.

So if you find yourself justifying why someone decided to write you off, do your best to boil it down to the very heart of it.

If they wanted you, they’d be with you.

It’s that simple.

You invested in something that didn’t pay off

Life is a series of gambles. When you have money in the stock market or invest in a business, you basically have to make a deal with yourself that no matter what happens, you’re gonna be okay.

If you lose it all, well, live and learn. It’s not gonna kill you though.

Relationships are a little different.

What you invest is not as quantifiable as money, but it’s a more painful loss in so many other ways.

You put time, energy, emotional stock, heart, all of that into the building of a relationship. You’ll laugh, cry, become frustrated, and run a range of emotions on any given day.

It takes a lot out of you.

But it’s worth it…when it works out.

And when it doesn’t?

Chalk it up to lessons learned and a failed investment that left you with some pretty serious scars and a lot of wasted time.

Onward now, friend.

You were wrong about them

This is a hard one. How could you have actually been wrong about this person you felt you knew so well?

Who knows. But when you realize that everything you thought you knew about them and how they felt about you was wrong, it’s devastating.

Were you aloof? Under the influence? In denial? Desperate? Probably all of the above at one time or another, but the fact is, you were wrong.

At this moment, best to keep it simple and admit it.

“I was wrong about her”

Now go lick your wounds.

You knew better all along

Sometimes you want so desperately for something to work that you could be in denial about the signs you may be seeing.

So sweet is the bliss of ignorance.

What is it that makes us have a blatant disregard for the collection of red flags waving in front of our faces?

It’s simple. You love someone.

It feels good, and you want the feeling to last and get stronger with time. When you think about the investment, once again, who could blame you?

Trying to make something work with someone you love when deep down you know it’s just not right, isn’t lame. It’s human.

But doing it over and over again will be torture, so cut your losses and trust yourself when you see the signs. Don’t be so quick to ignore them.

They didn’t change, they just got past the newness

Wouldn’t it be great if you could always just chuck the loss of a relationship to your partners’ evolution or their changing life circumstances?

A relationship will inevitably go through phases. The early attraction and romance phase is glorious and can last quite a long time.

Then, things just get real.

Real life. Real problems. Real quirks.

Things used to be so great. He’s never acted like this. All of the sudden he’s being weird.

The early phase puts a nice disguise over the real person as the relationship is developing, but as time goes on, it can be tiring to live on your best behavior, so to speak.

At some point, a person will just let it all hang out once there is a certain level of comfort and familiarity. If during this time, a breakup happens, that wasn’t them changing. It was more like them becoming.

Becoming who they really are.

Don’t blame yourself for not seeing this sooner, attraction makes people do some amazing things. And they can do it for a while because it all feels pretty good.

The way to recognize whether or not it’s just the courtship phase talking is simply to take your time. Again, this time period can linger for a while because love feels great, so see it through.

Take your time to know if your relationship stands the test of time.

You will learn a little something from every relationship in your life.

One thing to keep in your back pocket is this:

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. — Maya Angelou

It’s really not that complicated. You want to feel good and believe in love.

You should.

It’s a worthy pursuit.

Just stay real.

🎉 P.S. More thought candy on 🔥 🎧 The Badass Midlife Podcast 🎧 🔥

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