5 Great Mindfulness Lessons From This Movie About A Road Trip to Spain
Dancing Elephants Book Project: Prompt Mindfulness
My Deepest Regret
On the 19th of December, 2019, right before the pandemic started, I was talking to my parents on WhatsApp. I live in the Netherlands and my parents were in India, a few thousand miles away.
My father was trying to say something to me and I clearly remember how he called my name several times, to get my attention, but I barely replied or paid attention.
I was tired, irritable, hurt, and absent-minded because someone else hurt me, and hence, I was lost in my own thoughts, giving that other person, who hurt me, priority over my father. I thought — what’s the hurry, I can talk to my father tomorrow.
But there was no tomorrow. The next morning I received a call from my family that my father had passed away.
He had gone out for an errand and had died of a sudden heart attack. He had passed away right on the road.
I have regretted that night my every living moment. I wrote about that in detail in this article:
How I Realized the Value of Mindfulness
A couple of years ago, I watched a movie on Netflix titled “Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara” (in Hindi), loosely translated as “This Life Will Never Come Back” or so. I have watched umpteenth time in the last few years.
Wait, this is a topic about mindfulness! But why am I writing a story about my favorite movie? Well, it’s ironic that I realized the value of mindfulness through a movie.
It’s this movie that taught me a very valuable lesson:
All I have is this moment. This one breath.
Let me take you on a beautiful journey — a road trip to Spain, and you will find out how.
The Story
This story is about three childhood friends (three boys) who go on a road trip to Spain for a bachelor party. The road trip becomes their soul-searching trip.
I don’t want to spoil the story by giving in all the details in case you plan to watch it. But I will give you an outline so that you have the context.
Let’s call the trio as A, B, and C.
A lives in London. B and C live in India but in different cities.
A had a difficult childhood after his father passed away when he was just a 7-year-old, leaving him and his mother in a lot of debt. He is now a successful trader and his objective is to make as much money as possible and retire in his 40s.
He chooses to give priority to money over relationships. He slogs now so that he has a better future with a good retirement plan.
B is an architect and comes from a well-off family. He is getting married but is doubting his decision. He feels he is getting married to the person because he is expected to do so, but not that he wants to. At the same time, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So he puts other people’s needs before him.
He wants to go on this special journey with his closest friends one last time before his life changes.
C is not well-off, works in an advertising agency, and writes poems secretly but never publishes them. His birth father abandoned him and his un-wed mother and ran away to Spain to become a famous artist. He pretends as if he is a carefree man and wears the label of “fun and cool”, but inside he is torn.
The Twist
Now, the story could have been another usual road trip movie, had they not planned a surprise element, and how they are exposed to their worst fears, how vulnerable they feel, and finally how they overcome their inner fear.
The surprise is an adventure sport that each of them has planned secretly and the other two will have to participate in.
They all meet in Barcelona and drive to Costa Brava as their first stop for deep sea diving, skydiving in Sevilla, and finally, they end with bull-running in Pamplona.
They go through some of the most beautiful parts of Spain like the scenic routes by the Mediterranean, through the white village in Rhonda, and experience the flamenco and Tomatina festival in Bunol.
Each and every time, death felt too near. A didn’t know how to swim and was morbidly afraid of water, C had a fear of height, and all three of them thought running before the bull would be their last day.
But they accepted the challenges and paid attention to their moments of vulnerability.
Gradually, they realized that the thoughts and emotions that they have spent years defending themselves against don’t seem nearly as threatening.
In face of death, they make a pact — which they called as “if we are alive” pact:
“If we are alive, what will become our most priority?”
Lessons in mindfulness
When I watched the movie for the first time, I just loved the beautiful locations of Spain and the rich cultural heritage that has been portrayed. So I watched again and again, and again.
But each time I watched the movie, I made a deeper connection with the characters, because I felt I was also one of them, just like them.
Here are the most valuable lessons on mindfulness that I learned from the movie:
Pay attention to your breath
The movie shows how difficult it is to breathe underwater, and what an enormous amount of effort you have to give to breathing.
Our entire life is dependent on being able to breathe, however, we barely notice that.
Breathing underwater teaches us the value of each breath.
Next time you are too stressed, concentrate on just one breath at a time. Box breathing is a good example of mindfulness. Here is how to follow the process:
1. Let out all of the air in your lungs to the count of four.
2. Keep your lungs empty for a count of four.
3. Inhale for a count of four.
4. Keep your lungs full for a count of four.
Live in the moment
This sounds simple, right? Aren’t we all living anyways? I would argue and say that no, we are mostly existing, rather than living.
Living is being alive at the moment and realizing that time is precious and each moment matters.
Also, anxiety makes you think about a terrible future, but when you bring yourself back to the present moment, you can realize that what you fear isn’t likely to happen.
Be vulnerable (sometimes)
The movie shows that all three of them were facing some challenges in their lives but they were hiding it, because either they were not aware, or they were simply scared or ashamed to acknowledge it.
However, after accepting these challenges of life-threatening adventure sports like sky diving or bullfighting, they all realized the true power of vulnerability.
In the face of death, society, shame, money, embarrassment, or people’s reactions do not matter anymore.
Accept your fears in a non-judgemental way. That will give you the power and freedom to overcome your fear in many cases, but if not, at the least, it will challenge you to start making new choices — choices you didn’t know were possible.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” -Brené Brown
When you are mindful of these vulnerable moments, you will know your true worth and will realize that what people and society will think about you, doesn’t matter much after all.
You will know that you can handle this moment, and the next, and the next.
Seize the day
Most of our time we plan or wonder about the future when things are going to be fine — for example, that travel next summer, when we have x amount of money or that dream job, or about our retirement plans.
It’s good to plan for our future, but not at the cost of today.
Live today fully and then think about tomorrow. Who knows if tomorrow will come or not?
Thinking of death or reminding ourselves all the time that life is short, seems quite morbid.
However, it also helps you realize the real difference between living and merely existing. It gives you the time to reflect on your life and how you can live an intentional life.
So instead of only worrying about a retirement plan and slogging your way because you want to have a better tomorrow, enjoy your today. Remember:
All you have is this moment.
Make time for those things that are meaningful to you
The movie shows that character A really enjoys cooking but doesn’t have time. He is busy making and saving money for his retirement.
However, this one trip changes his life when he meets his scuba diving instructor and understands what he has been missing so far — enjoying the little things, the things that gave his life meaning.
“Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.” — Kurt Vonnegut
No matter how busy you are, make sure you do at least one activity in a day that you like doing.
That could be going for a walk in nature, chatting with your closest friend, knitting, soaking in the sun while reading your favorite book, or something as simple as reserving a few minutes in a day for a cup of tea while hearing the chirping of birds — whatever that brings you joy, adds meaning to your life.
Summary
My father’s death without notice and the regret that I didn’t pay attention to him had been killing me.
What I would not have done to go back to that day when he called me for the last time had I known that it would be his last call. I wish I had been more mindful and meaningful.
I can’t go back to that day. But I, surely, can try to live in the moment instead of being obsessed with my past or future.
I invite you to do the same if you feel too obsessed with your future or past, or what other people might think about you. What matters is your present moment.
So don’t wait for a better tomorrow, rather, treat your vulnerabilities as a sign of growth and confidence, and LIVE YOUR LIFE NOW.
Reference:
My heartfelt thanks go to the editors: Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, and Sharing Randomly for showing this positive outlook towards the inception of this book idea, believing in me and the other writers, and for making this book project possible.
Thank you for reading.
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