5 Experiences That Shaped My Philosophy for Life

Life lessons from 21 years on earth

I have not had a lot of life experience at all. After recently turning 21 in February. I reflected much on my philosophy for life. Without realizing it, we all live by a philosophy, whether consciously or not.

My short life so far has had many difficulties, and I am sure there are many more to come. But, through much self-reflection, I have a philosophy for the rest of my life. There are many more experiences to come, but the ones I have found myself in have been life-changing.

Many of our experiences in life have the potential to change our perspectives. It is up to us whether we wish to acknowledge the lessons they have taught us, or not. I have not learned from every experience, but I am paying closer attention to them.

A philosophy for life should include two things. Direction to your fulfillment, and a truth you have perceived from your experiences. From my 21 years, I believe I have found those two things.

We are limited individuals. I know we are always told from a young age we have unlimited potential, and we can be whatever we want. But that is just not true, and I had to learn that the hard way through some of my experiences.

However, our limitations can also become our reason for growth. And they may lead us to do things we would have never imagined.

The direction to fulfillment being that we are to constantly grow in gratitude. As someone who has come from a poverty-stricken background, it was easy for me to be grateful for the small things. But I have found that climbing out of my poverty has led me to become less grateful.

This inverse relationship between gratitude and wealth frustrated me. So I soon perceived that my direction to fulfillment is being able to have more gratitude with every step closer to my life goal.

However, my truth and direction to fulfillment did not come out of anywhere. There are at least five experiences that have led me to this philosophy. So, here they are.

Failing My Piano Recital

I still remember the first time I decided I wanted to play the piano. I was about seven years old and came across an old piano at the back of a hall which my mum was setting up for a birthday. It did not take long for me to recognize that I could produce the sounds I want by pressing the correct keys.

While my mum was setting up the hall, I figured out how to play twinkle little star with no help. Amazed by how quickly I picked it up, my mum asked how I knew how to play it, and I replied, “I don’t know, I just tried it out.” Once the piano was rolled out, I found myself throughout the birthday meal creeping back to it.

After that day, my mother invested in piano lessons for me. I went through two grades in the first year, and I was picking it up quickly. It was almost as if I had a talent. Well, it did not take long for me to get complacent. I stopped practicing as much and took a laid-back approach to everything.

Every year, my piano teacher would put on a concert with all her best-performing students. After four years of performing so well at the concert, my piano teacher challenged me to play a piece that was slightly above my grade.

For me, this was no problem because I thought I was a star anyway. I practiced the piece a few times, but not as much as I should have. And when it came to the day, I played it one more time before the concert and acknowledged I was not ready at all. I was still making silly mistakes, and it sounded horrible.

I told my mum I was not ready and did not want to go, but my mum was not about to put up with that. She told me I should have practiced. Once my name was called I went up there with a confident grin. I did not want anyone to suspect I was about to fail.

And then it happened. I played the first 30 seconds well, then the dip came. I completely messed up. I played the first 30 seconds again and recognized I would further embarrass myself if I continued, so I stopped.

Claps of encouragement still came my way, but I was broken. I soon saw that talent means nothing unless you will practice. Now, looking back on it, I see a deeper lesson in this experience. I have grown to realize that some people are more talented than others in certain areas of life. And that is something we have to accept.

However, it does not matter who you are. The rule practice makes perfect, still applies. Yes, some people may get it faster, and some may always be better. But we should not let the things we are not talented at hold us back from attempting them.

We may not have the unlimited potential to become the best at whatever we want. Some people are naturally gifted at certain things and will always be better as long as they practice and work hard. However, we should never let that fact limit us from pursuing perfection and being the best in what we do.

This experience shaped the truth that we are all limited in some way or another, even the talented. But our limitations are not bad things. They can help us grow and teach us lessons to become better.

Realizing I Can Not Be a Professional Basketball Player

Whilst in secondary school, I developed a deep passion for the game of basketball. Between the ages of 13–14, I spent almost every day training and improving at the sport.

I became one of the best in my school, and the school started its first-ever basketball team. We used to travel to other schools and colleges to play some of the best in the UK. I will never forget the day I had one of the best games in my life. I scored a large number of points, and I was carrying my team.

Despite losing that game, the referee pulled me over to the side and told me that I should take the sport seriously. She suggested a team that played at a higher level. It was a nationals team. Which meant I was only one away from becoming a basketball player who could end up playing for my country.

Well, I managed to get into the team, and they let me know that my skill level would need to improve to become part of the first team. One the way back from my trials, I was happy. But my stepdad looked concerned.

He told me that he would allow me to drop out of school to play basketball. However, I would not be able to maintain playing at such a high level whilst pursuing higher education. It was at this point I knew I was in a dilemma.

That night, I spent the whole time on my computer looking up statistics for the likelihood for me to make it to the NBA. And to my unfortunate surprise, it was very slim. Most people drafted from overseas were around 6'8, and I was nowhere near that height. And with my growth spurt coming to an end, I was never going to be that tall.

On top of all this, the majority of NBA players get drafted from the USA. As someone from the UK, my chances were even slimmer. So, at this point, I had to make a choice. Do I risk getting an education for an extremely small chance of making the NBA, or do I accept that the risk is not worth it? Well, you all know what I did.

Despite all my talent, genetics were just not on my side. Again, I realized I do not have unlimited potential. But, that did not stop me from pursuing other passions I had. Basketball taught me many things about teamwork and bouncing back from defeat.

Getting Into an Elite School

Upon dropping my basketball dreams, I decided to focus on academics. I was never the most intelligent person in the class, but I was always willing to work hard. So, when it came to choosing where I would like to take my further education, I had hopes of getting into an elite school.

The school was called the London Academy of Excellence, and I believed I deserved a spot there. It was hard to get into, and they only accepted the best grades across the country.

There was a two-step process for getting in. Before you got your grades, you had to go in for an interview. And only then, if they liked you, they would give you a conditional offer. You would only be accepted after your grades met their requirements.

So, I managed to get an interview, and I thought I did pretty well. But then it happened. I got an email from the school telling me I did not make it. In anger, I said to myself. I will get into that school at any cost. So, I worked extremely hard and pulled out some amazing grades.

When I received those grades on results day, I asked my mum to take me to the school. She was hesitant because she did not want me to get disappointed if they said no to me. After all, I did not have an initial offer. But like any good mother, she supported my dream to get into school.

I walked in, and to my surprise, the headteacher was at the door. He asked me if I had an offer. I let him know that I did not, but I really wanted to be a part of the academy. He had a look at my grades and smiled at me. Then with an optimistic grin, he confirmed that he was sure he would be able to slot me in.

It was here I grew to understand that limitations can be overcome. Failure is a part of life, but it does not need to be a blocking point. As long as we are willing to try, I have found that fortunate events tend to happen.

This experience shaped the truth in my philosophy for life even further. That our limitations are not blockers to life, but instead barriers we can overcome. I never thought I would be able to pull out those grades, but I did. And if it was not for my limitations, I would never have done it.

A Beggar Gets Angry at Me

During my time at this elite school, we needed to wear business wear. So I was always in a suit to and from school. I remember passing a beggar on the way, and he asked if I had any money to spare.

Normally, I ignored beggars and would walk straight past. But this man seemed genuine, and I could tell he needed help. I was only a student and did not have any money to give, so I thought the least I could do was respond to his plea.

I told him that I was sorry, but I had no money, and I was only a student. And as I was about to go on my way, he stood in front of me. He became filled with rage.

He let me know that it is people like me that keep the black community down. And that I was wrong to not want to help a black brother out. He told me how selfish I was and how much of a middle-class jerk I turned out to be. He wished bad luck upon me and my wealth, and then he let me go.

I remember walking towards school feeling very low that day. I started to believe the things the homeless man said to me. However, there was nothing I could do. I was only a student, and I did not come from a rich background at all. My family was just about to make ends meet.

This experience allowed me to understand the importance of gratitude. The only reason why the homeless man did not believe I was a student was because of how well-dressed I was. I looked well-kept and appeared to be someone of a high socio-economic class.

I learned two valuable lessons. The first is that not everything appears as it seems. And the second, I was more privileged than I thought. I was far from rich. But never really took time to appreciate what I did have. Being so focused on making money and becoming successful, blinded me from seeing how fortunate I was.

But the homeless man was not blinded. He saw exactly how fortunate I was. Even though he had the wrong idea of who I was, he could see what I was blind to. It was here I discovered to begin taking more notice of the things I have.

A Mother Can Not Get Home

It was the festive season of Christmas, and everyone was out getting their gifts. On the way towards the shopping mall, I saw a woman struggling to carry the bags of toys she had. My friend and I both looked at each other thinking what a big family she must have.

But upon closer inspection, we saw she was asking people something. I thought it would be for help to get to the station because of all her bags. As my friend and I got closer to her, she made eye contact and came over. And these were her words, “Can I get £1.50 to get home please?”

At first, I was stunned. She had spent over £100 at least on the bags of shopping. Why on Earth would she be asking for money? My friend, being the generous person he was, was about to pull his wallet out. But then I stopped him and told the lady, sorry, we have nothing.

My friend was fuming at me. He asked how I could be so evil, knowing we both had enough money to give her £1.50. And I explained to him that the woman had not gotten her priorities straight. She had spent way over her budget, to where she could not even get home that day.

This experience amplified the idea that gratitude and wealth seem to have an inverse relationship. That woman forgot that getting home is more important than any gift she could get for her family. But we lose sight of these priorities when we are focused on selfishly trying to gain more than we need.

This is why we always hear people talking about losing sleep and sacrificing health to get “success”. Sleep, rest and having a good diet are all things we can appreciate. However, when we focus on what we do not have, the things we are grateful for slowly lose their value.

If that mother had been bent on getting home to see her family, she would have ensured she had money set aside for getting home. So being grateful brings not only happiness and fulfillment. It also ensures that our priorities are straight.

Closing Thoughts

I am still young, and I am sure my philosophy will slightly change over the years. As I grow in wisdom and my experiences broaden, I may add to the lessons I have learned so far.

But I will not be taken away from them. Learning that I do not have unlimited potential has allowed me to focus on the things I enjoy. It has allowed me to build resilience against the limitations I can overcome and accept who I am.

And learning that gratitude must grow with wealth has allowed me to take a better approach to my fulfillment. I am no longer someone trying to make lots of money and break poverty. Instead, I am knowing to appreciate every moment of my life. Whilst understanding to love every stage of my growth.