5 Eerie and Not So Eerie Ways You Can Tell You Have Met The One
From my observations reading and watching both loving and ride-and-die couples
I am reading the Will Smith memoir. It is helping me understand him, his relationship with Jada, and why he smacked Chris Rock. However, a story he shared in his book, inspired today’s topic, which is how you know you have found the one.
Now you might be thinking, “Will and Jada Smith? Find another example!”.
I know their relationship may be considered by many to be inexplicable and frankly toxic, but you won’t deny that they are still standing together. Will has not left Jada, he is a staunch defender, even though she has done things that many men would have long dumped her for.
It’s not like he can’t get another woman. After all, for the longest time, he was one of the most bankable stars in Hollywood. He is handsome and apart from the Chris Rock debacle, has a mostly clean reputation
Yet, he stands by her. He smacked Chris Rock to defend her honor. He supported her as she promoted her memoir.
He loves that woman.
Will Smith loves Jada Pinkett Smith.
Both of them notably said in Jada’s Red Table Talk, “We ride together, we die together. Bad marriage for life”
I don’t see him leaving her anytime soon.
The story he shared reminded me of the many love stories and “How We Met” stories I’ve read.
Now many people may not realize this about me, but I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love and want my soulmate. I persist with dating apps even though they have yet to deliver my love to me and regularly kick my rear.
I follow and have followed several single writers from when they were single to when they finally found love. I’ve memorized these stories. They keep me going.
Through these readings, I have discovered 5 themes that exist. Here they are:
1. They hear an inner voice that tells them that the other person is “The One”, “Their Husband”, “Their Wife” etc- This may sound eerie or woo-woo, but I have heard people say, “Something told me she was The One”. Will shares in his book that Jada confided in him that she “heard a voice speak clearly, with no sentimentality, just a matter-of-fact: That is your husband”. I have heard similar mentioned by people, even here on Medium. Something inside told them that the other person was The One.
2. They just “KNOW”- Similar to the first item on this list, I have heard people say that when they met their future spouse, they just KNEW. When you try to press them for more details, specifics, like “How did you just know?”, “What did it feel like?”, they can’t explain further. It is an intuitive feeling, a bodily knowing, perhaps a wisdom from above
3. They feel peace- A lot of problems many people have with relationships today are because they are with people who are not right for them. They are not with “Their One”. Instead, they’ve settled for someone else due to loneliness, horniness or time pressures. Many people settle a lot in dating. They overlook red flags just to have someone. But the thing is, when you are not with the right person, you will never have peace. It’s like your soul knows this and one of you will bring up things that will impede the growth of the relationship. With the right person, you feel peace and security. There is no fear, no insecurity, no confusion. You know exactly where you stand with this person.
4. The relationship progresses- This is something I learned from Natalie Lue, the writer of Baggage Reclaim many years ago. When you are with the right person, you are not too busy for them. You want to take it to the next level. You want to be around them. The relationship flows, like a river. All the games, ghosting, “busyness”, scamming, and excuses that people experience in the dating arena are simply because they are either with or talking to the wrong people. If you like someone, you wouldn't treat them like thrash. When you are with the wrong person, it’s like you are in a faulty car. The relationship starts, stalls, regresses, just problems galore. The right relationship goes from strength to strength.
5. They can talk for hours- Will Smith said that when he and Jada begin a conversation, it is a minimum of 2 hours. It is also not uncommon that they talk for 5 or 6 hours at a stretch. I also remember another story I read years back from the writer, Ali Martin, and her now husband. I learned about this writer when she used to write about the single life. On her first date with her now husband, they talked for 7 hours. Imagine that. I love remembering that story. It’s so beautiful to me.
So there you have it, 5 eerie and not-so-eerie signs you have found the one.
I hope that everyone, including myself who desires true love, finds it.
Amen