5 Crucial Awarenesses To Reach on the Path to Becoming a Better You
A few noteworthy conclusions I’ve come to, that are making an impact on my personal evolution and the ecosystem in which I live and interact.
To some, change may seem impossible to embark upon, or even unnecessary in other cases. I remember, years ago, hearing Dr. Phil McGraw say, “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.”
Although I wasn’t ready then to improve the condition of my life, this quote stuck with me anyway. Over time its meaning has become clearer and clearer to me: Acknowledgement, choice and action are the bedrock of change. I’ll expound further with these 5 Awarenesses, that I’ve come to along this winding road to self-improvement.
Personal Happiness Begins with the Quality of Your Thoughts
If you’re anything like me, you know exactly how dangerous negative self-talk can be for your mood. The chatter in our minds, directly, affects how we feel. So, what stops us from changing our narrative? What prevents us from re-framing our brains to lean more heavily on the bright side of things? Maybe you’ve programmed yourself to believe you don’t have any control over the content and quality of your own thoughts.
Well, I’ve got news people: YOUR THOUGHTS ARE YOUR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY! Just like any other form of property, prioritizing the upkeep is a requirement.
Intentionally choosing to replace negative thoughts with positive ones is actually great housekeeping for the mind. No doubt, this may seem like an exercise your brain doesn’t have the endurance for, at first. However, just like any new routine, practice makes perfect. The more you repeat the steps, the more mindful you become about implementing them daily. After enough practice you begin to notice subtle changes in your mood and resolve pesky stressors.
Think a thing, feel a thing and soon enough its materialized into your reality. We hold the keys to all the doors that open and close in our minds. If we’re only turning the keys that release the deadbolt for negative, intrusive things to come in and aimlessly roam… our feelings and perspectives reflect that. The power is always ours to wield for the best -or worst- possible outcomes.
Choose how you want to feel day-to-day, moment by moment. Do yourself a ginormous favor and obliterate your stinkin’ thinkin’!
Therapy Isn’t a Fix-all. It’s a Support Tool
As if there aren’t enough misconceptions about mental health; the notion that a therapist’s role in your care is to repair everything for you is 100% on the list. Certainly, it’s imperative that we research mental health professionals before choosing them. Finding a therapist who’s the right fit for you matters. But, it’s also crucial that we investigate ourselves prior to selecting a therapist.
Getting crystal clear with yourself about what your goals are for therapy also matters. What is it, specifically, that you want to address? What are some things you’re aiming to get out of the experience? How ready are you, really, to begin this important work?
Investigate yourself with the intention of collecting enough evidence that shows you’re open, willing and ready to be accountable throughout this process. We have a responsibility to ourselves to show up, be transparent and participate in our healing. Your therapist is there for compassionate support and sound guidance. Not to extract your issues one-by-one, make you whole again and send you back out into the world anew.
The magic in the healing process is developing a rapport with the right therapist. It involves cultivating an environment for learning new strategies to cope with life and self-discovery. It means taking sound guidance and applying it to your life in order to bring about the desired results. It’s a collaborative effort toward a common goal with you at the center.
Don’t make the mistake of dropping into the chair or Zoom call of the first available therapist too soon. Take some time and have an honest chat with yourself about what it is you’re willing to contribute to achieve your milestones in therapy.
“I’m not perfect. I manage my imperfections well.” — Lisa Nichols, Motivational Speaker, Best Selling Author, Life Coach
There’s No Elevator to Your Transformation. Take The Stairs!
We, most definitely, live in an instant-gratification era. In terms of personal growth and development though, there is no Just Add Water mix. I assure you, there isn’t. I checked. Twice.
Okay more than twice, there I said it! Keep reading please and thanks.
Patience, consistency and motivation are key factors on your path to a better you. Finding a community of like-minded people, online or in-person, definitely helps a ton. There will be days and sometimes weeks where you just don’t feel like you have enough stamina to take on another flight of stairs to the next floor in your journey.
I’m learning (the hard way of course, my fave) that needing support to keep my momentum going, doesn’t make me weak. It isn’t proof that I’m behind in life. Or that everyone else is snickering at me, for being the loser taking the stairs to progress instead of a smooth ride up with the ‘real adults’.
The reality check that bull-dozed that kind of thinking is this: Progress is made at the pace of your consistency. There’s no perfect way to heal. There’s no fast lane to the better days ahead. “We all have to run our own race. It doesn’t matter how you start Baby Bubba, it matters how you finish”, as my Dad so eloquently stated.
And he’s right, quit disqualifying yourself. Don’t waste precious time and energy ruminating over why you’re not where you wanna be yet. Or why it took you so long to get to your current floor in the Progress High-rise of your life. Stay focused on your mission, stay connected to the community of people that support your goals, don’t rush anything… JUST DO YOUR WORK!
Enforcing Firm Boundaries is an Act of Self-care
As you evolve, you’ll begin to notice a natural shedding of patterns and people. This might make you and others uncomfortable in the beginning but, you’ll also come to accept it’s all a part of the process.
We’re allowed to outgrow things and people. Our evolution isn’t an attack on anybody else’s character or lifestyle. Could it be perceived that way? Absolutely. But, that’s where your boundaries come in. We get to decide where and in which situations we need boundaries most and strictly enforce them.
Make a pact with yourself to never bend on your hard-lines in the sand to placate others. Some people will project their insecurities onto you. Perhaps this healthier version of you is a reflection of everything they don’t have the discipline to create for themselves.
Firm boundaries is how you protect yourself from jeopardizing the progress you’re making. It’s the new way of teaching others what kind of treatment and energy you’re willing to accept. It shows that what once satiated you in the past, doesn’t hit the spot for you at all in the present. That the composition of your life has changed too much to continue holding space for things of old.
You’re with you everywhere you go in life, imagine living another day betraying yourself to please someone else. How’s it gonna feel staring back at yourself in the mirror in the morning? In closing, take the best care of yourself as a reminder to never accept less than what you give yourself, from anyone else.
Identify Your Fears & Overcome Them with Action
Refuse to live your life in ambiguity. Define yourself by who you are at your core. Maybe you’re not even sure who you are honestly. Are you too afraid to strip away some layers and find out?
Tear away that useless cloak of comfort and get active about learning yourself. Get down to the bare bones of you today! That’s the first step to crafting the life you want based upon your purpose, your passion or whatever it is that makes your authentic self happy.
If you’re afraid to leap for it, take baby steps instead. But you’ve got to do it scared otherwise you’ll never do anything about it. You’ll continue convincing yourself that just because your fears are valid, the risk isn’t worth finding out if you’ll get to the reward. The real query is: How Bad Do You Even Want It?
Complacency and stagnation does not a successful person make. Success by whichever definition suits you, of course.
Fear is a liar, a thief and a cheat. It will lie to you about what you’re worthy and capable of. It will steal your motivation and inspiration. It will cheat you out of joy, good times and the prosperity that is just as attainable for you as it is for any other able-bodied, lucid person on this planet with a vision for themselves. You gotta grip fear by the scrotum with ice cold hands and do “it” scared.
Whatever “it” is you’ve been allowing fear to keep you from, I encourage you to take the deepest breath you’ve ever taken and make a move. Any move in the direction of improving the condition of your life, inside and out.
Don’t wait. You CAN handle what comes next. JUST MOVE!
Thank you for reading.
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