5 Bad Bitches from the Ancient World

From the dawn of time through the first century AD

In the ancient world, women weren’t normally someone a man would fear. Women were to be seen and not heard. They were commodities to be sold and/or traded. They weren’t viewed as people, just another piece of property in a man’s world. This was true for almost all women in ancient times. However, there were a few who demanded to have their voices heard, by any means necessary. Here are 5 of the baddest bitches of the ancient world.

Pharaoh Hatshepsut

In 1479 BC, Queen Hatshepsut of Egypt took on a role not usually given to women of the ancient world. She proclaimed herself Pharaoh, being only the second woman known to have done so. She was the daughter of one pharaoh, and wife/sister to another. She was incredibly intelligent, highly educated, and knew how to work the system.

As the chief wife of the reigning king, it was her duty to play mother to his heir. However, when her husband died, his heir (Thutmose III) was only about 2 years old. It then became her job to rule over Egypt as Regent. However, this wasn’t enough for her and she took on the role of king in her own right. She even went so far as to wear the false-beard as a sign of masculinity.

She did wonders for the Egyptian people. She re-established trade routes that had been previously lost in wars and disputes. She created some of the greatest building projects in the country’s history and produced hundreds of statues.

She ruled as Pharaoh for about 22 years before her death, which seems to have been due to her accidentally poisoning herself with a lotion made from carcinogenic materials. Her step-son, Thutmose III, took over as Pharaoh.

Sometime around the end of his reign, some tried to erase the name of Hatshepsut from history. But this bad bitch refused to go down without a fight and her statues can be found in museums all around the world. With and without her manly beard.

Artemisia I of Caria

Queen Artemisia of Caria in Hellacarnassis was an ally of the Persian king, Xerxes. She was a fierce leader and commander of her own fleet of ships. When Xerxes decided to wage war against the Athenians at sea, she was the only one who warned him not to do so as the Athenians had a great naval fleet.

Though Xerxes held the queen in high esteem, she was still just a woman and he decided not to take her advice and went to war at sea with the Athenians. Being a true ally of the king, Artemisia went as well. She fought valiantly and was even said to have attacked those on her own side in order to win the battle.

Being the bad bitch that she was, the queen was said to have two different sets of standards at her disposal. When going after a Greek ship, she’d fly the Persian standard. However, when it looked as though the Greek’s might attack her, she flew a Greek standard. It worked and the Greeks thought the ship was one of their own.

When the battle was over, Xerxes was said to have been even more impressed with the Carian Queen. He was reported to have said, “My men have become as women and my women as men”. He even went so far as to ask her for her advice on where to take the war from there. To which she replied, “Leave your slaves behind to fight on. If they win, it still comes back to you as they are your slaves. If they lose, you will have lost nothing important and will be in the comfort of your own lands”. (Not a direct quote). That’s a hardcore bitch right there.

Queen Arachnidamia of Sparta

In the 3rd century BC, the Spartans were besieged by the Greek king, Pyrrhus. The Spartan council of elders thought it would be best to send the women and children to Crete for their safety. However, badass bitch and Spartan queen, Arachnidamia, marched into the council, wielding a sword and declared that she and the other Spartan women would be doing their part to protect their lands.

In an attempt to protect their city, it was decided that a trench should be dug between the Greek camps and their homes. It was reported that the women, led by their queen, dug a third of the trench with their bare hands.

During the battle, the Spartan women would pull the injured from the battlefield and tend to their wounds. They provided food and drink to those in need of rest and made sure their warriors had their weapons. In the end, the Spartans won the battle, which led to the eventual killing of King Pyrrhus. Never mess with bad bitch’s property.

Queen Amanirenas of Kush

Toward the end of the first century BC, the Romans had taken over Egypt and had set their sites on the land of the Kushite. However, they didn’t know they were about to go to war with a one-eyed Kushite queen. Queen Amanirenas.

Knowing that the Romans planned to attack, the queen and her king took matters into their own hands and attacked the Romans first. Even after the king had been killed in battle, Queen Amanirenas continued to fight. It was said that she even went so far as to decapitate a statue of the Roman Emperor Augustus, then took it back to her kingdom and buried it beneath a temple.

The queen ended up winning both the battle and the war. The Romans realized that they couldn’t beat the queen and her troops and decided to give her a peace treaty. In that treaty, she got to keep most of her lands. Roman troops weren’t to set foot into her kingdom and she didn’t even have to pay tribute to the Emperor. Now that’s one seriously bad bitch.

**It should be noted that in 1912, archaeologists found the severed head of Caesar Augustus buried in the city of Meroe, in the Sudan — Modern-day Kush**

Queen Boudicca of the Iceni Tribe

Sometime around 60AD, the Roman legions ran most of the British Isles. Some tribes were their enemies, others their allies. When the king of the Iceni tribe died, he left his lands to be split between his wife and daughters, and the Roman Empire. However, the Romans had other ideas.

When Queen Boudicca refused to just hand everything over to the Romans, they took matters into their own hands. They had the queen publicly whipped and then did the unthinkable. They raped her daughters. Hell hath no fury liked a pissed-off redhead.

Because she was a woman, the Romans didn’t think they had much to worry about. However, the queen called together warriors from several tribes and went on a rampage. She demolished the cities of what is now known as Colchester and London. She killed everyone in her way, including women, children, and even Celtic allies.

It was written that she even went so far as to keep hundreds of people locked up in one of the temples for a couple of days before burning it to the ground, with everyone still inside. She was bent on running the Romans out of Britain at all costs.

Ultimately, Boudicca was defeated, but not before annihilating an estimated 70,000–80,000 Roman citizens and allies. There is no record of where she died or where she was buried. A true bad bitch Mama Bear.

Do you know of any other bad bitched from the ancient world? Write up a piece about it. I’d love to know about other ancient women that took life by the balls.

This piece was inspired by Xavier Van Holde’s IdeaStream Laser Focus.

© Christine Graves 2020