5 American Foods The Scandinavian in Me Simply Can’t Get Herself to Eat

Call me snobby

Don’t worry, I’m not against donuts, let me get that out there right away.

It’s not my favorite dessert (or breakfast), but I enjoy a donut now and then. I could eat all of the varieties in the photo above, except for one.

Yes, that one with a meat topping.

Bacon donut

This story is not about those odd foods that most people don’t really eat but are still labeled as weird American foods, such as fried butter and turducken (chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey).

Bacon donut is not that.

People actually eat it, and enjoy the taste. Bacon donuts are featured on menus in more than just one odd donut shop. I wouldn’t go as far as calling it mainstream, but normal people eat bacon donuts.

It’s not viewed as a very weird thing to it.

In my Scandinavian, sort of minimalist-inspired food habits, with few ingredients and clear cuts when it comes to what’s breakfast, food, dinner, and dessert, combining meat with a sweet treat is something I’m just not interested in trying.

It’s probably tasty for some but I’m not even going to go there.

If that’s snobby, so be it.

Bacon works with scrambled eggs, not on top of a fried cake with icing.

Fluffernutter

The first time I heard of this was when I took my kids to a local cafe with a friend. The kids’ menu was fairly limited, and one item stuck out; fluffernutter.

What is this? I asked my friend. She looked at me like I had four eyes and was shocked by the fact that my kids had never tried fluffernutter.

If you’re like me and haven’t heard of this creation, here’s what you need to know: A fluffernutter is like a peanut butter jelly sandwich, except the jelly is replaced with marshmallow fluff.

Marshmallow - what?

Yeah, I didn’t know what fluff was either until moving overseas. Marshmallow fluff is a marshmallow spread similar in flavor, but not texture, to regular solid marshmallows.

I enjoy marshmallows so the reason for me not being interested in eating this sandwich is about combining desserts with meals. Breakfast to me is not a sweet meal, it’s a savory meal, mostly, if not completely, free of sugar.

Marshmallow is something I associate with dessert.

Why not fluffernutter for dessert, then?

Well, if I’m going to eat dessert, it’s going to be a real treat. Cake, chocolate, you name it. Not bread with peanut butter and marshmallow.

And marshmallows, they taste the best when roasted over a bonfire. Or topping a homemade brownie cake.

Mac’n cheese pizza

So we recently had visitors from Scandinavia. The kids wanted pizza, and when we were at the grocery store, they had mac’n cheese pizza, made-on site, like a weekly special or something.

The clueless Norwegians we were, we actually thought that this would look somewhat appealing and, if not for us, something at least the kids would enjoy.

A fun, kind of unique combo.

We opened the box of mac’n cheese pizza and the kids couldn’t even get themselves to try the dish placed in front of them. I encouraged my kids to try at least one piece, it’s a loose rule I have. I want them to try before saying they don’t like it.

They tried.

Didn’t like it.

The role model parent I am, I couldn’t even get myself to taste it.

Snobby and Scandinavian, I prefer a Neapolitan brick-oven pizza with locally sourced ingredients and organic flour.

Just kidding. As long as it’s without mac’n cheese, I’ll take it.

Frito on top of dinners

I actually saw this on my kids’ school menu.

Frito pie was mentioned as one of the options. Fritos, if you’re unfamiliar, are mass-produced corn chips made by deep-frying extruded whole cornmeal. I’ve tried the chips once. They don’t taste anything like normal tortilla chips.

Frito on top of dinners usually comes as Frito Pie. This is basically a chili dish with Frito chips topping it.

First, if you’re doing to eat a filling and delicious meal like chili, with ground meat and fresh vegetables, why on earth is there a need to add deep-fried chips to it?

I wouldn’t put chili on a list of the healthiest foods out there, but it’s not that bad. It’s tasty, especially now during the fall season. In fact, chili is one of my favorite comfort foods, so much so that my husband and I just entered a local chili competition. We’re aiming for first prize.

Why would someone ever ruin a perfectly decent dinner by adding mass-produced cornmeal chips on it?

Not trying it, no matter how good you say it is.

Ice cream float

More often than not, this one comes as a root beer float.

The ice cream floats in the soda.

You plop a scoop of ice cream, often vanilla-flavored, into the soda drink.

This one (dessert? drink?) is mainstream in pizza joints and some chain restaurants where I live. There’s also a National Root Beer Float Day. I’ve met people who swear by this culinary creation, but personally, I feel sick just thinking about combining ice cream with soda.

In fact, if I had to, I would try the bacon donut before an ice cream float.

Milkshake, I’ll do. A float, no thank you.

Quite often, I am surprised to read the school menu to see what’s up in the food scene at elementary schools. A stroll around the local grocery store can be fairly entertaining as well.

An odd dessert I did try recently, and loved, was dirt pie. The “dirt” is crumbled Oreos and the filling is a mix of butter, sugar, cream cheese, and vanilla pudding. It had marshmallow fluff, too.

Any foods out there you just can’t get yourself to try?

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