4 Ways to Influence and Win People Over Without Even Trying

A simple change in mindset can change your life

Every day we should focus on becoming a better person. The saying ‘treat others as you would like to be treated’ really goes a long way and it’s the perfect formula for life. Think about others the way that you would want to be thought of and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That's the golden rule.

One of the best ways to influence people and make a difference is to win them over. If we don’t show a person respect then they won’t show it back it’s as simple as the alphabet. It sounds like common sense but some people still don’t know and will never know how to follow that simple step. I’ve dropped many friends before because of how they acted and the lack of respect they show. I make mistakes too, nobody is perfect but if we aren’t striving to become a better version of ourselves then we never will.

I recently just finished the book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie and I was really impressed by it. If you are looking for the perfect book on self-improvement this book should be the main priority to get, it taught me so much about winning people over and being a genuinely good and fun person.

This story is heavily influenced by this book, the best way to become a good leader is to learn how to develop self-confidence and make a good first impression on people with public speaking.

Without further ado, here are the 4 best ways to win people over:

TALK ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES BEFORE CRITICIZING

It’s difficult to not criticize someone if they are doing something wrong.

The way we come off is what will make or break the relationship you have with a person. An example would be if an employee is doing his or her job wrong. Here are 2 scenarios that will happen: the manager finds out and yells at the employee for not doing the job right (which is what they usually do) or on a rare scenario, the manager remains calm, talks about a similar mistake that they made in the past, and gives the employee advice on the right thing to do. We all make mistakes and if you want to criticize someone, that’s perfectly okay it just depends on how you do it.

If you start off by telling the person you aren’t perfect and have made plenty of mistakes in the past and then you softly tell them the mistake they made, that person will not only gain respect for you but there’s a chance that a friendship can form because of how well handled the situation was.

BE A GOOD LISTENER

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m talking to someone and they make it obvious that they aren’t listening or paying any attention to what’s coming out of my mouth whatsoever.

When someone is talking it’s important to make direct eye contact with them, turning your body towards them to show that you are interested in what the person is saying, and not interrupting or giving your opinion until they are done.

Chances are, you’ll learn something from what the other person is saying. Jumping in to give advice and listening just to have a response is a couple of traits that bad listeners have. When you become a good listener that person will notice it even if he/she doesn’t say anything about it.

TALK IN TERMS OF OTHERS INTERESTS

This is the number one rule to keep a conversation going, especially with people that you just met. If you’re both interested in the same topic and share the same interests that’ll make the conversation go on for longer.

Instead of blatantly asking what the other person’s hobbies are, mention a hobby that was completely unrelated to the topic in the hopes of that person recognizing it and creating a new conversation out of that. If you just talk about your interests, the conversation is going to turn out bland and if it was the first impression, that person would’ve thought you were self-centered and boring to talk to. First impressions matter the most so it’s necessary to talk in terms of the other person’s interests

ASK QUESTIONS AND DON’T GIVE OUT ORDERS

Nobody likes to take orders, especially from you. Instead, ask questions and give out suggestions on making something better.

When you ask someone a question, it forces their mind to be creative which makes them way more likely to accept the order if they were part of the decision. But if you just say to do this and do that you’ll end up have no chemistry with that person and there is a good chance that they would end up not liking you.

TAKEAWAY

It takes a while to learn and use these abilities in the real world every day. No matter how respectful and influential we can be, there will always be those certain small groups of people who contain nothing but negativity because of their insecurities.

Some people will just never learn and aren’t even interested in learning to become better and more respectful people. The fact that you were interested and read it shows that you are actively studying and investing time into yourself to reach your higher self shows how truly influential you can be.

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