4 Ways to Filter Self-Help Advice

Maximize your lessons + output by knowing whose advice to follow and whose to avoid.

I love self-help, for it has helped me:

• Drop 25 kgs (approx. 50lbs)
• Become confident by battling negative belief systems
• Earn good money
• Become a kinder to myself and those around me
• Believe in my dreams and follow them

But this wouldn’t have happened had I followed any and all self-help pieces out there. This only happened because I strategised my way through self-help, and you should too.

You have to filter self-help to derive the best value. There is a limited capacity in your brain to think and process things, so feeding it everything you come across.

But if you feed only the right things, it’s easier to learn and act upon them and actually make life better.

So how do we filter self-help?

1. Credibility Check

Check the author’s name to see who is this coming from. It doesn’t always need to be somebody big and famous, but somebody who has practised what they’re preaching.

You don’t need self-help to jump from point 1 to point 10 on a scale, because even 3 to 7 is growth. If the person has done what they preach, it has a greater depth to it and adds value to you.

I have blogged about health for years because I had a drastic weight-loss journey, which I documented online. My writings result from years of research and self-experimentation. Had they just research, it would’ve been boring and unhelpful.

Only when you try and test do you know the potential points of failure and learn things that aren’t mentioned in books, this is what you as a reader should learn to get the best results.

You don’t need self-help to jump from point 1 to point 10 on a scale, because even 3 to 7 is growth

2. Tone Check

Self-help is usually in two voices:

• Demeaning
• Empathetic

If you’re somebody who gets motivated with radical honesty, you’re affected by the demeaning voice. For e.g. You are lazy and you fill yourself with excuses, that's all it is, so get up and get going instead of waiting for somebody to help you through it.

If you’re somebody who likes inspiration but also tenderness to get motivated, you lean towards the empathetic tone. For e.g. You have been lazy, but that’s okay because life is such that it comes our way. However, you have it in you to get up and get going, you really do.

It’s important to filter the tone because for some of us a demeaning tone can be triggering. For e.g., if I read self-help in a demeaning tone, I get triggered about my childhood where I was bullied and under-confident.

So filter out the tone to get the best of what you’re looking for.

3. Actionable Check

If the self-help you read doesn’t come with actionable but just makes you introspect, how will you benefit from it?

I can tell you you’re not losing weight because of 5 reasons and explain them, and you will probably agree. Now, what if I end such an article with no actions for you to take? You just wasted a lot of time reading something and getting inspired without knowing how to reach your goals.

If the self-help you read doesn’t come with actionable but just makes you introspect, how will you benefit from it? It will lead you to research further, and in today’s time when there are millions of options to choose from.

What you’re reading, listening to, or attending, will only benefit you if it has some takeaways for you. Else it's all preaching in the air and you’ll go back the same way you came, which makes self-help rather unhelpful.

4. Keep it low

Select a few people you admire and learn from them. If you want to be a great marketeer, learn from somebody who already is so you can learn from their game. It’s great to learn from a diverse set of people, but be a little selfish about your goals and learn from people who can help you get closer to them.

Broadening your horizons and exploring self-help is great until you get flustered with excess information which leads to no action.

For e.g. I divide my self-help study in the following approximate ratio with a goal to be a better writer:

• 70%: Gurus who have reached where I aspire to be
• 20%: Books that align with my goal + personality development
• 10%: Miscellaneous like marketing, strategy, etc.

So 90% of what I absorb aligns directly with my personal and professional goals.

Using the first 3 filters will automatically help with the fourth one.

Summary

For self-help to be helpful to you, do:

1. Credibility check: Does the person offering advice have experience with what they’re talking about?
2. Tone check: Do you get motivated to move by a demeaning or empathetic tone?
3. Actionable check: Does this information come with actions for you to pursue?
4. Keep it low: Does this material align with your goals, or is this just additional good-to-know info?

You have limited time, and to make use of it bring down your consumption only to what's important. You will see the changes!