4 Ways To Be Your Own Leader

Actionable steps to becoming your own figurehead

When you move out of your family home and go off to live on your own, your perspective on life changes. You are now solely responsible for everything that goes on in your life. Your financial stability, the food you eat, and the bills you pay are now dependent on you. It is time for you to take on full management of yourself.

You have no one to answer to. No one cares if you make the bed or do the washing. It can be done on your own time.

In my own experience, I had begun to plan for such an inevitability. I had seen and learned the value of focusing on what you can control. I saw how important it is to ensure organization and readiness for numerous situations.

Figures in my life previously viewed as leaders such as parents, teachers, and coaches had their influence loosened as I formed my own opinion of the world and decided to go down a different path to which they had intended.

When we think of an admirable leader, we often picture a figure who can motivate and empower us. We don’t see what goes on behind the scenes and what truly makes them the person they are.

Rather than spending our lives looking for someone to be a leader to us, you can take control of your life. You can lead the life you truly want to live.

This doesn’t mean you can’t have help from others. Help and guidance from reputable sources are obviously advised. After all, words of wisdom from a mentor will be worth listening to.

So how do you become the leader of your own life? The following 4 ways will kickstart the journey.

1. Identity-based goals

In his book Atomic Habits and various blog posts, author James Clear talks about creating “identity-based habits”. The principle here is to, firstly, decide on the identity you wish to have and then prove this to be the case with small wins.

When we set a goal, we more often than not focus only on the outcome. We neglect the processes set up to achieve the goals and the identity of someone who is likely to achieve the outcome they desire.

The leader within ourselves sets goals with identity as the primary focus. Then, the leader designs and implements processes that will aid in obtaining the required outcome.

We must ask ourselves what goals would such a person with the identity we wish to have set?

2. Leading by example

Chris Bosh, the 2x NBA champion and 11x NBA All-Star, talks about what leadership means to him. He recalls his teammate LeBron James’ intensity in training the day after a bad loss to the Chicago Bulls.

He continues:

That’s what a leader does. It’s not just hyping the team up when you’re winning and everything is comfortable. A leader shows composure when others would fall apart. LeBron didn’t need to say anything to get us fired up — he just needed to set the example and trust that we would follow him. And we did.

By applying the basics and giving 100% effort no matter if, after a huge win or a sore loss, James showed to his teammates that they should never drop their standards.

In everyday life, we are surrounded by distractions and attention-grabbing stories that cause us to procrastinate. We drop our own standards in numerous facets of our lives, whether that be work, health, or relationships when times begin to get hard.

By performing what Sir Ian McGeechan calls “world-class basics”, we set ourselves a high standard to live by. Your efforts will then resonate with those around you which will lead to you both reaping the rewards.

3. Embrace new ideas and opportunities

As we go through life, interesting opportunities and chances will come up. While it may seem scary, especially if you are putting yourself out there, the reward can be of high value.

Seeking to learn new skills will contribute to what you already have, making you a more well-rounded individual. This also improves your adaptability, preparing you for unforeseen and difficult circumstances.

New opportunities also lead to you meeting like-minded people. For example, I am going to try out a new gym this weekend. I am slightly nervous, which is natural, however, I am excited as I get the chance to meet other individuals with similar health goals to my own.

Publishing stories on Medium was a strange experience at first. I have since had the privilege to follow the journey of some very talented writers while also connecting with others on my own stories.

4. Mentors and teachers

I mentioned previously listening to the advice of a mentor. It’s impossible for your to grow and learn if you don’t seek help and advice from others.

It is also important not to become complacent and assume you know everything.

Confucious said:

If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.

After all, the best way to learn is from someone else's failures.

If you currently don’t have a mentor or are struggling to find one then check out the article below with some handy tips.

Asking for help shows your desire to learn more and become a better person. When times are tough especially, it is imperative to be around someone you can trust and turn to when you need it most.

We often idolize leadership figures but rarely consider how we can implement their qualities and systems within our own lives. Eventually, we can aspire to be leaders of our peers who admire us.

I hope these steps can help you on your path to becoming a leader in your own life. I would love to hear the other ways in which you are the leader in your life by leaving a comment.

If you enjoyed this please consider signing up to be notified when I post a new story. You can also connect with me on my socials here.