Summary

The article provides strategies for handling criticism constructively, emphasizing that criticism is a sign of growth and an opportunity for self-improvement.

Abstract

The article "4 Ways That’ll Help You Stop Taking Criticism So Personally" discusses the relationship between success and criticism, suggesting that criticism is often a byproduct of doing something significant. It distinguishes between constructive and destructive criticism, advocating for embracing the former as a tool for growth and showing empathy towards the latter as it may stem from the critic's personal issues. The author, drawing from personal experience and observations in the restaurant industry, encourages readers to face their fears, understand that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to focus on others' actions, and to remember their personal "why" to maintain motivation in the face of criticism. The article concludes by reassuring readers that criticism is a natural part of personal and professional development and should be seen as a positive indicator of one's courage and potential.

Opinions

Criticism, both constructive and destructive, is an inevitable part of putting oneself out there and striving for greatness.
Constructive criticism should be welcomed as it contributes to personal and professional growth.
Destructive criticism should be met with empathy, recognizing that it often reflects the critic's own struggles or insecurities.
Fear of criticism can be a significant barrier to personal growth, but it should be embraced as a sign of stepping out of one's comfort zone.
People are generally more focused on their own lives than on the actions of others, so worrying about others' opinions is often unnecessary.
Remembering one's purpose or "why" can provide motivation and perspective when facing criticism or setbacks.
Criticism can be seen as a measure of success and an indication that one's work is being noticed and having an impact.
Fear is a constant companion in the journey of growth and should be accepted rather than fought against.
Successful individuals often face a great deal of criticism, which should be taken as a positive sign rather than a deterrent.

LESSON

4 Ways That’ll Help You Stop Taking Criticism So Personally

Think about it.

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”– Aristotle

There’s one key difference between people who consistently pull off ridiculous feats and others who are always wondering how the high achievers do it.

They get more criticism than anyone. So it means that only those who are important are seen as worthy of trolls and vehement criticism. So the question is, why?

Because critics confirm greatness.

It seems like the more haters you have, the more successful you are. It’s all about attitude. The truth is that criticism is an easy way to test your progress.

Studies show the two types of criticism constructive and destructive. Both give you the idea of the intention of it. The first one makes us grow. There is always something to learn from it.

The destructive one is all about a person’s life at that moment. And it’s a good opportunity to show empathy for them. Maybe he is having a hard time and doesn't know how to release that bad energy.

I was scared to get criticizes. The first time I post an article on Medium, it was a nightmare, and the worst moment was when I was reading my post, and the number of typos I found there were insane. I was in my job counting the minutes to go home to edit it. I was unaware that nobody read it.

You will get criticize when people notice your work even if you are prolific in what you are doing.

If you have the right mindset, you can take advantage of it.

Getting critics means you have the courage to do things that others just are dreaming of doing.

Let see what you can do to handle criticism and embrace it as an advantage in your life.

A critic is a big sign of growth

“It is easier to pluck a flower than to nurture it; which is why some would prefer to destroy your talents than nurture them.”― Matshona Dhliwayo

Having the courage to expose yourself is admirable.

It is easy for people to sit down watching what you are doing without saying anything beneficial to improve. Sadly, most people follow the same pattern of behavior. And doing so, they ensure no one can criticize them.

These are the classic people who love to criticize others:

They are happy in their comfort zone where nothing grows there.
They refuse to change.
They refuse to learn.
They have a fear of uncertainty.
They love to be in a place where everything is under control and avoid trying anything new.

I have been working in the restaurant business for more than 15 years, and most conversations that resonated with me come from old customers who regretted things they didn't do in life. When I asked why they didn't. The answer was the same — Because of fear of criticism. It is not sad?

I keep in mind those conversations to help me beat that resistance inside me when I want to do something and start to feel that something is holding me back.

You should choose failure than regret the thing you never tried.

People don't understand that fear isn’t the enemy

“Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up”― Veronica Roth

Fear is a big sign you are growing; make your fear a close friend.

Most people don't understand that fear is a natural feeling. In her book, “ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”, Susan Jeffers states:

“Every time you encounter something that forces you to “handle it,” your self-esteem is raised considerably. You learn to trust that you will survive, no matter what happens. And in this way, your fears are diminished immeasurably.”

Fear is a good sign that you are going in the right direction. And means you are conquering something bigger. It never goes away; why?

Because when fear starts to despair, it means you are learning, and your confidence increases. And it is a perfect time to put the bar higher. As a result, fear shows up again.

So why we have to fight against it. It is not better to live with it. And a better approach would be to keep looking for it.

People are busy worrying about their own things

“You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” ― Olin Miller

I’m sure you had times when you were worrying about something, and later nothing significant happens.

Unless you are famous, a celebrity, or you did something immensely significant in this world, the truth is nobody pays attention to what you are doing. Why waste energy worrying about those things.

People who give you destructive criticism are those who don’t have anything to give others.

Why should you give them the importance they don’t deserve?

Don’t take me wrong; there are amazing critics when they drop some suggestions to improve. Those are incredible tips to learn and shape your skills.

Critics don’t feel the meaningful fulfilling you have inside

“Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own.” – Angelina Jolie

It is difficult to explain the feeling well when you are doing something because you know your WHY.

The best advice that I can give you from this post is this. All the time when you feel frustrated for things that are not going according to your plans, and you started to feel depleted, remember this:

Why are you doing this? What is the purpose?

We are humans somedays I don't feel in a mood to do things. My negative thoughts start killing me without even ask permission to pop up in my head.

When you ask why you reset your mind and realize you are doing this for a purpose. It is something you are committed to, and it is not negotiable. Hence you keep doing. It relocates you on the right path.

Remember your why, write it down and read every day and overnight. It is the best way to keep going.

Critics are tedious and sometimes hard to digest, but you can learn a lot from it if you get the right ones. If you get anything constructive it is a good chance to develop your empathy and think that maybe that person is having a hard time. Thinking the most successful people on this planet got a lot of them will help.

Just keep this in mind; if you are getting critics, it is a big sign you are growing. You have the courage that others lack.

Be proud of yourself then. And keep going, make the fear a close friend. And remember, if you keep growing, fear never goes away. As Wayne Gerard, states:

“People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you are not.”

If you want more stories like this or different topics, let me know here!

Godofredo Rojas is a writer, chef, and constant learner from Peru. He studied in Le Cordon Bleu in Lima, Peru. He moved to New York in March 2011. You can find him on Facebook and Twitter.