Four Tips to Help You Stand up for Yourself Successfully
Getting what you deserve can be a good thing
My husband spent a fruitless half hour on the phone with customer support. His new computer monitor had worked briefly, then gone black.
Customer support offered helpful suggestions such as buying an HDMI converter. Except this particular monitor didn’t have an HDMI input port.
It was clear that the customer support representative had no clue.
I walked into his office. A glance at the power strip confirmed it was sending power to the monitor. I looked at the wires on the back of the monitor, and pushed one further in.
“It’s on!” my husband shouted. “No, it’s off again.”
“You’ve got a loose power cable,” I told him. Meanwhile, I was winding the cable around the support stand to pull it upward. “That should hold it for now.”
“Can we tape it in place so it doesn’t fall out again?”
“Yes, you can. But you shouldn’t have to. That’s a brand new monitor, fresh out of the box, that you paid $700 for. You shouldn’t have to tape it together to make it work.”
“You’re right.”
He asked for the customer support agent to transfer him to the returns department. He explained the problem with the monitor. The returns agent began describing their process. He’d ship the monitor back, then when they received it, they’d ship out a new one.
“That leaves me without a monitor for at least a week,” he answered. “That’s unacceptable. So here’s what you’ll do…”
I smiled as I watched him negotiate with the people on the phone. I find it so inspiring when he stands up for himself like this. After all, I would probably just box the thing up, ship it back, and grumble for the week or two until the new one arrived.
But I’m learning. Here are the four biggest tips he has taught me about standing up for yourself.
Tip 1: Know what you’re due
We took a family cruise after we got engaged, to allow his mom and my parents to get to know each other. One of the stops was in Acapulco, to watch the cliff divers. The ticket to see this attraction included a seat in the viewing area and two drinks.
We arrived shortly before the divers began, and so only received one drink. The wait staff stopped circulating after the show started. They didn’t want to impede anyone’s view.
So, when my then-fiance finished his drink, he got up and hunted down one of the wait staff. His ticket included two drinks, and he was going to get two drinks. He did.
Before you can stand up for yourself and demand your due, you have to know what’s actually due you. If it looks like you are not getting that for any reason, calmly insist that you paid for it. If they don’t want to give it to you, they can refund your payment.
If you are buying things online with a credit card, you can send this information to your issuer. Your request and the company’s refusal to honor it are proof that you didn’t get what you paid for. The credit card issuer will refund the payment, even if the company doesn’t.
Tip 2: Understand the terms of the agreement
Before we left on the cruise, we spent the night in a Hampton Inn. Hampton Inn is famous for their 100% unconditional guarantee of satisfaction.
Two things were wrong with our hotel room. First, there was some problem with the shower — I don’t recall what. Second, and more annoyingly, the phone in my future mother-in-law’s room did not work.
How was that a problem with our room? Because she kept barging into our room to use the phone. Repeatedly. Banging on the door until we’d let her in, regardless of what we were doing.
So, when we checked out, the clerk asked if we enjoyed our stay, and my future husband said, “No.” He explained the problems with the room.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” the clerk said. “Can I offer you a 10% discount for your trouble?”
“No, you can refund the entire cost of the room,” my future husband said. He pointed to the brass plaque outlining the 100% satisfaction guarantee.
Had they not offered that 100% satisfaction guarantee, he’d have taken the discount. But since they did, and he knew it, he held them to their terms.
You can use this to stand up for yourself whenever you buy something. Find out the exact terms of their refund policy. Some places (such as the wonderful Costco) will let you return defective items at any time. Others have a strict 90-day, 30-day, or even 7-day policy.
Tip 3: Speak to someone in authority
My husband had been trying for many days to fix our television. The people at Costco Conscierge gave him one thing after another to try. Despite the lack of a solution, they did not have much to offer him. Finally, he got one person on the phone who explained the surprising lack.
Costco Conscierge is not actually part of Costco. They’re an independent subcontractor. They don’t have any authority to offer a fix on Costco’s behalf.
She gave him a direct phone number within Costco to call. Within minutes, a Costco representative was guaranteeing that something would be done. Within a day, we had a new television.
People frequently complain to the person they are dealing with. No matter how much that person sympathizes, they can rarely do anything about it.
You may need to speak to a manager. Or their manager. Or someone in another company entirely, as the Costco example showed.
While you are working your way up this chain of command, do not be rude or argumentative. State the facts of your situation clearly and calmly. You want to win their sympathy, not feel better by yelling.
Managers frequently have a wide range of discretion when it comes to what they’re able to offer. If you’re yelling and cursing, they’ll try to get you out of their face as quickly as possible.
Yet if you remain calm and pleasant, and offer suggestions, they may be quite grateful.
We’ve had wait staff get the manager to discuss our bill. We didn’t heap criticism on her, although she obviously expected it. Instead, my husband praised her for doing her best in a difficult situation. He also suggested process improvements for the kitchen that might help in the future.
The manager was planning to take the problematic item off of our bill. Instead, she not only did that, but gave us three free coupons for future visits.
Be helpful to the people in authority that you speak to. They may be willing to reward your helpfulness.
Tip 4: Ask what they can do
My husband recently migrated from a Windows based PC to an Apple. He used their supplied software to migrate files from the Windows machine to the Apple, and killed it. A wide variety of Apple engineers got involved, trying to figure out what he’d managed to do to the Apple.
They had him return the machine for a refund, and buy a new one.
Determined to keep him as an Apple customer, they spent hours on the phone with him. Eventually, they offered him a $100 credit to compensate him for his aggrevation.
When he later tried to use the credit to buy software from their store, there was no record of it. Again, he spoke to support.
The support person explained that they don’t own all the products in their store. Some come from other companies. They couldn’t give him a credit that would apply to other companies’ products.
Instead of getting mad, my husband was very understanding. What were they able to offer, to compensate him for his aggrevation?
He ended up with $250 of Apple accessories, including a wireless keyboard and touchpad.
There may be some reason why the person you’re speaking to is not able to give you the solution you want. But if you ask, they may be able to give you something even better.
Conclusion
If you are trading your precious time or money for goods or services, you deserve to be satisfied. Here are four tips for standing up for yourself, to get what you are due.
- Know what you’re due
- Understand the terms of the agreement
- Speak to someone in authority
- Ask what they can do
Above all, stay calm and understanding. It’s generally not the fault of the person you’re speaking to that you’re having a problem.
Ready to have a better tomorrow?
I’ve created a cheat sheet to help you increase your confidence and get control of your life. If you follow this daily, you will level up your life very quickly!
