4 Signs That You’re a Misfit in Your Current Job
And what to do about it.
You wake up to brew your coffee and go to work. Oh, it’s still Wednesday. Two more days to the weekend, you feel a sense of relief. You’re working from home right now during the pandemic, but it hasn’t got easier.
Opening your laptop to start work gives the same feeling as going to your chaotic office.
Sure, you don’t hate your job. It’s not bad. You’re paid alright, you’re learning things, your day flies by. But bits of daydreaming dominate your day, wishing you were in a different place doing something else. More so, thoughts like ‘what am I doing in my life and ‘do I really belong here’ pass through your head often.
You feel you belong somewhere else, but shun that off as just a dreamy thought and carry on. Deep down, each day, you still feel that you’re meant to do something different, something less mechanical, something which makes your soul feel on fire.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” — Steve Jobs
What can you do to bridge this gap between your dreams and your reality? For how long will you continue feeling like a misfit?
I feel you because I have been you for such a long time. Having traveled solo to places, I have had larger-than-life experiences which have shaped my perspectives differently. I think and function differently from people I see around me. For the longest time, I thought I’m weird because my old friend self-doubt has a way of creeping in uninvitedly.
And this isn’t to convince you to quit your job and be an entrepreneur, because that isn’t for everybody. Maybe you’re an entrepreneur and feel like a misfit. I am very supportive of corporate jobs because of their abundance of benefits.
But I promise you there’s a way out if you’re really enthusiastic about making a change.
1. You’re always daydreaming
We all daydream; it’s normal, especially during the current times when sipping margaritas on the beach would be blissful as compared to staying at home. I even spent most of my school days daydreaming because studying wasn’t my forte.
But are you daydreaming to dream or daydreaming to escape?
A few months ago, I realized my daydreams weren’t just about vacations anymore. They were more rebellious. I started questioning the authority, the industry, and the institution I am surrounded by.
I didn’t want to earn X amount of money or work X hours a day. I wanted to earn X*2 and work 6 hours a day. Nothing felt appealing. I started looking for a new job only to realize I wasn’t looking for a change of role because I genuinely have no complaints from the organization I am working in; I wanted a lifestyle change.
It’s okay to daydream, but if your thoughts revolve around actively seeking a drastic change, spend time with yourself and reevaluate.
Here’s what you can do
Pick up cues from your daydreams. I cannot emphasize enough how powerful your inner voice can be.
When I was traveling solo 3 years ago, a part of me kept telling me I want to travel and write for life, for a living. But my 21-year-old naïve and under-confident self believed that this is merely a dream and cannot be a reality.
Three years later, I got stuck with the same process and actually got an action plan that works and is doable.
Your daydreams may not be telling you to change your lifestyle but could be about a job you feel more inclined to or a skill you’d want to work towards, pick up those cues instead of being lost.
2. Daily mechanisms amuse you
What may be normal for us may not be normal for others, and vice versa. Say, if you’re from the West, then paying rent after 18 and living away from home is normal for you. For me, that’s a cultural shock. In India, we stay with our parents until we get married, sometimes even after that.
Similarly, working a corporate job may be normal for most people but need not feel normal for you. Maybe you want to work at a young and energetic start-up, maybe you need to change your industry altogether from FMCG to Tech, or maybe you have an entrepreneurial spirit within you urging you it’s time to come out.
You question things.
For me, I started questioning society and industry. I didn’t want to slog my ass off for a sucky appraisal. I didn’t see the rest of my life be full of 8–10 hour workdays. I didn’t have it in me to be cunning and climb my way up the corporate ladder. For me, work is a part of life; for many of my counterparts, work is their life.
Here’s what you can do
“Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.” — Tony Robbins
If there’s an itch you’re experiencing, scratch it. Life’s short, and you don’t want to leave space for regret later.
Find out answers to:
- What is bothering you?
- What would you like to do instead?
- How do you want to go about it?
Books are really helpful too. Reading Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins helped me get closer to figuring out what I want to do and how I should get there.
3. You seek higher-level fulfillment
Do you feel that there needs to be more to what you’re doing? Appraisals come and go. Recognition feels good too, but something is missing. You constantly think there has to be something more to this.
Something feels incomplete.
When you’re doing something you enjoy, you feel whole. You feel complete. But then you get back to reality, which is your job. And then it all feels mundane, and you keep escaping by doing things you enjoy. You start side hustles, try to make more money on the side because something is missing; you just don’t know what it is yet.
Here’s what you can do
This is a great place to be in. Keep feeling this way and keep making time for doing the things you enjoy. If you’re a full-time student or have a full-time job, having a side hustle helps.
I started writing out of passion, but I was so happy doing it that I kept writing. It helped me make money and gave me the level of confidence I was otherwise missing. I wouldn’t have even tried had I not felt this way.
Plus, doing things you love prevents you from being a robot, which, unfortunately, a lot of humans are turning into.
4. You don’t give your 100%
Even though you know you have it in you.
The reason is, as an addition to the above points, you’re not driven. You’re not driven to do this job. Even the rewards, no matter how yummy, don’t appeal enough for you to give your best.
There are two types of motivations:
- Extrinsic motivation: This reward-driven behavior. If there is a known reward tied to the outcome, they will extrinsically motivate you to pursue it. E.g., doing work for money, competing in sports for the trophy.
- Intrinsic motivation: Human beings have psychological needs which need to be satisfied to thrive. This involves seeking activities with no external reward. E.g., taking part in a sport because it’s fun and you enjoy it instead of the trophy.
Your lack of motivation does not make you lazy or not good enough; you’re just a misfit in this world but a rockstar in another. Find where you can perform.
“Like my friend Warren Buffett, I feel particularly lucky to do something every day that I love to do. He calls it ‘tap-dancing to work.’ “ — Bill Gates
Here’s what you can do
You need to find where you thrive, and that will only happen when you keep experimenting. If you think you’d want to be a coder, start learning to code online and see if that makes you thrive. If you want to be an artist, produce art on the side and see if that’s where you put in your 100%.
I was ‘extrinsically motivated’ to code because of the big bucks which come with it; I planned a full career move in my head. But I sucked at coding, my extrinsic motivation tied to the reward wasn’t enough to keep me going.
You will give in your 100% when you find your flow, and you will find your flow only by doing.
Finally
Being a misfit isn’t wrong, but a tremendous advantage. It’s such a great place to be in. I have always liked my organization and my work but also felt like I don’t belong here.
Of course, my self-defeating voice told me I’m lazy because I don’t want to work, just like I didn’t want to work hard enough to get good grades. But one day 6 months ago, I changed it.
I accepted being a misfit, and I embraced it.
I did everything I told you above to become more aware of where my flow lies. It lay in art, in creativity, and not in Excel sheets and PPTs. I enjoyed building relationships to lift others around me and not for the sole purpose of gaining something or climbing up the ladder.
Embrace being a misfit, for it could take you to the dreamland you’ve been daydreaming about all along.