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Abstract

you spend your time with people.</p><h1 id="6a7b">2. They’ve Not Done What You Want To Do</h1><p id="e01a">Know someone’s story before you get involved. Have an initial chat, discover their path and see if they’ve done what you’re trying to do.</p><p id="fbbe">If they have then great. They are the expert and can have tangible experiences to share and actionable points for you to implement. And, you’ll know those things worked because it’s been successful for them. For example:</p><ul><li>If you want to know how to get a freelance client, you’d hopefully never take advice from someone who has never landed a freelance client before.</li></ul><p id="2411">I know that sounds obvious. But, you’d be surprised — it’s easy to fall for someone’s charm and get hooked into what they’re saying.</p><p id="a8f3">And just like that, you’re listening intently to them but they haven’t done what you want.</p><p id="e208">So always find out someone’s journey first and see if it has got them to the place where you want.</p><p id="0cc9">Another good way to do this is to ask for examples from their own life. So, if someone is telling you how to get a freelance client, ask them for specific examples of how they got one or the difficulties they had initially. That’s a good indicator that they have done what you want to do.</p><p id="80a0">And if they can’t give examples or they haven’t reached the destination point you want, then chances are they’re wasting your time. You could put that time to better use by listening to someone who has done what you want to do.</p><h1 id="f920">3. They Don’t Spend Much Time Within The Area Of Interest</h1><p id="63bc">We can get caught up trying to get business advice from someone who hasn't run a business. Or, try to find the answer to helping our anxiety from someone who hasn’t spent time learning and/or treating anxiety.</p><p id="2acd">Again, it comes down to peoples words. Some people have this way of captivating us that makes us think we should definitely listen to them, regardless of where they spent their time.</p><p id="a6d9">But how on earth can they give you reputable, expert lessons if they haven’t devoted time in your area of interest?</p><p id="8b5a">Your time is so valuable that you should be obtaining these lessons from someone who has put time into that area. For example:</p><ul><li>If you’re looking to lose or put on weight, your time will be wasted if you’re just chatting with your friends about what you think you need to do. Or if a member of your family who has no experience starts telling you a bunch of stuff to do.</li><li>If you compare that to someone who seeks advice from a person who has had 5, 10, 15 or more years of experience within this area, of course, your time is going to be better spent there.</li></ul><p id="ba16">Even writing

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this makes it sound like it’s obvious. But just reflect for a moment.</p><p id="e8bf">It’s easier to get advice from someone close to you (even if they don’t have expertise in the area) than go searching for someone who does.</p><p id="2e3d">And that’s why we listen and spend time with people who don’t have this expertise.</p><p id="1681">To sum, don’t waste your time with someone advising in an area they haven’t spent much time in. Question them too. Instead, seek support from someone who has spent time within that area of interest.</p><h1 id="921e">4. They Don’t Show Interest In Your Plans or Progress</h1><p id="14fb">This one frustrates me massively.</p><p id="c9df">Why on earth should we spend our vital time with someone who is dishing advice or lessons out but does not give a crap about you, your plan or the progress you made?</p><p id="318c">Why is that person even providing lessons in the first place? Money? Gratification? To boast?</p><p id="dfe9">If you notice that when you try to give feedback to the person about a goal of yours or the progress you made and they ignore it, then it’s going to be tough for you.</p><p id="682e">It’s good to have that two-way interaction where you’re giving that feedback and they’re taking it on and showing you down the right path or giving encouragement.</p><p id="d6a8">It can be an important part of learning.</p><p id="4f5a">So, be critical if someone isn’t showing interest in your progress or goals. It may limit your progress because you’re not receiving that vital feedback and you could be wasting your time with them.</p><h1 id="1ae6">Final Comments</h1><p id="f595">Your time is extremely important. Whenever you do something, it means giving up something else. So, you need to choose wisely how you spend it.</p><p id="6c91">The problem is, there are a lot of people out there who want to take up peoples time for money, to boast or for some other reason.</p><p id="4f02">Watch out for these four signs as it could indicate someone is wasting your time and you’re much better off spending your time elsewhere or with someone else:</p><blockquote id="b46f"><p><b>They don’t practice what they preach.</b></p></blockquote><blockquote id="a7e2"><p><b>They’ve not done what you want to do.</b></p></blockquote><blockquote id="0678"><p><b>They haven’t spent time within your area of interest.</b></p></blockquote><blockquote id="3764"><p><b>They don’t show interest in your plans or progress.</b></p></blockquote><p id="9fb0">If you like reading these stories and want to support me as a writer, consider <a href="/@saarim/membership">signing up to become a Medium member.</a> It’s $5 a month, giving you unlimited access to stories on Medium. If you sign up <a href="/@saarim/membership">using my link</a>, I’ll earn a small commission.</p></article></body>

4 Signs That Someone Is Wasting Your Precious Time

They don’t practice what they preach…

Photo by Yan Krukov from Pexels

We need to know when to move on from people.

It’s easy to get attached — I know. Whether that’s in a romantic, business or platonic relationship, it’s easy to feel like that person is completely interested in us or wants to help us. When we look for signals for this in any relationship, it makes us feel happy.

The reality is, the other person — who we think is really interested — could simply be taking you for granted. Whether that’s because you’re paying them to help you with something or they’re getting some form of pleasure out of it, it’s very easy for your precious time to be wasted.

I’ll take you through four clear signs someone is wasting your time. Look for these signs because if they’re present, you need to get the hell out of there.

1. They Don’t Practice What They Preach

I got told to network as much as I could. They said it would help my career, both in personal and business life. The funny thing was when I tried to keep networking with this person who told me to do so, they were not interested.

I only had one contact from them, a few email exchanges before I actually spoke to them and that’s it. No reply to any emails after my contact with them.

Luckily not a lot of my time was wasted in this scenario.

But, it can be easy to fall into a situation where you’re spending a lot of your time, each week with someone who is telling you what you think is “incredible” knowledge, but they don’t do it themselves.

And why is that a problem? Well ask yourself — if they’re not doing it themselves, why aren’t they?

Don’t take things for face value. Don’t be willing to always accept what someone tells you. Find out if they do it too. And if they don’t, challenge them.

A common response might be “Oh, I don’t need to. I’m at a different stage.” You might think that’s right but to me, it’s never a good sign if someones words are different from their actions.

So, find out if they practice what they preach. If not, ask them why. Be critical when it comes to choosing how you spend your time with people.

2. They’ve Not Done What You Want To Do

Know someone’s story before you get involved. Have an initial chat, discover their path and see if they’ve done what you’re trying to do.

If they have then great. They are the expert and can have tangible experiences to share and actionable points for you to implement. And, you’ll know those things worked because it’s been successful for them. For example:

  • If you want to know how to get a freelance client, you’d hopefully never take advice from someone who has never landed a freelance client before.

I know that sounds obvious. But, you’d be surprised — it’s easy to fall for someone’s charm and get hooked into what they’re saying.

And just like that, you’re listening intently to them but they haven’t done what you want.

So always find out someone’s journey first and see if it has got them to the place where you want.

Another good way to do this is to ask for examples from their own life. So, if someone is telling you how to get a freelance client, ask them for specific examples of how they got one or the difficulties they had initially. That’s a good indicator that they have done what you want to do.

And if they can’t give examples or they haven’t reached the destination point you want, then chances are they’re wasting your time. You could put that time to better use by listening to someone who has done what you want to do.

3. They Don’t Spend Much Time Within The Area Of Interest

We can get caught up trying to get business advice from someone who hasn't run a business. Or, try to find the answer to helping our anxiety from someone who hasn’t spent time learning and/or treating anxiety.

Again, it comes down to peoples words. Some people have this way of captivating us that makes us think we should definitely listen to them, regardless of where they spent their time.

But how on earth can they give you reputable, expert lessons if they haven’t devoted time in your area of interest?

Your time is so valuable that you should be obtaining these lessons from someone who has put time into that area. For example:

  • If you’re looking to lose or put on weight, your time will be wasted if you’re just chatting with your friends about what you think you need to do. Or if a member of your family who has no experience starts telling you a bunch of stuff to do.
  • If you compare that to someone who seeks advice from a person who has had 5, 10, 15 or more years of experience within this area, of course, your time is going to be better spent there.

Even writing this makes it sound like it’s obvious. But just reflect for a moment.

It’s easier to get advice from someone close to you (even if they don’t have expertise in the area) than go searching for someone who does.

And that’s why we listen and spend time with people who don’t have this expertise.

To sum, don’t waste your time with someone advising in an area they haven’t spent much time in. Question them too. Instead, seek support from someone who has spent time within that area of interest.

4. They Don’t Show Interest In Your Plans or Progress

This one frustrates me massively.

Why on earth should we spend our vital time with someone who is dishing advice or lessons out but does not give a crap about you, your plan or the progress you made?

Why is that person even providing lessons in the first place? Money? Gratification? To boast?

If you notice that when you try to give feedback to the person about a goal of yours or the progress you made and they ignore it, then it’s going to be tough for you.

It’s good to have that two-way interaction where you’re giving that feedback and they’re taking it on and showing you down the right path or giving encouragement.

It can be an important part of learning.

So, be critical if someone isn’t showing interest in your progress or goals. It may limit your progress because you’re not receiving that vital feedback and you could be wasting your time with them.

Final Comments

Your time is extremely important. Whenever you do something, it means giving up something else. So, you need to choose wisely how you spend it.

The problem is, there are a lot of people out there who want to take up peoples time for money, to boast or for some other reason.

Watch out for these four signs as it could indicate someone is wasting your time and you’re much better off spending your time elsewhere or with someone else:

They don’t practice what they preach.

They’ve not done what you want to do.

They haven’t spent time within your area of interest.

They don’t show interest in your plans or progress.

If you like reading these stories and want to support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member. It’s $5 a month, giving you unlimited access to stories on Medium. If you sign up using my link, I’ll earn a small commission.

Personal Growth
Mental Health
Self Improvement
Personal Development
Life
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