4 Research-Based Habits To Incorporate Into Your Life Now That Turn Your Life Around in 6 Months or Less
A proven framework that will increase happiness, well-being, and performance
Donald had tried to turn his life around several times.
For years, he’d committed to resolutions he would give up after a few months. There was something with his resolutions that did not sit well with him. He had a sense that the resolutions he made weren’t even his own. He did what he thought he ought to do. He thought he would be happy if he accomplished his goals. He failed every time.
His goals consisted of some of the following:
- Getting a new job.
- Losing weight.
- Eating better.
- Sleeping more.
- Spending more time with his kids.
Donald was stuck in his old ways.
He couldn’t find a new job. He lost weight for a couple of months only to regain it. He ate well for a few weeks, only to return to binging every weekend. His sleep was terrible. His job as a manager was extremely stressful and busy, which meant less time with his kids than he wanted.
What Donald didn’t know was that he was not alone in his approach of making resolutions and then failing.
According to a study, 80 percent of New Year's resolutions fail. Yet another study conducted at the University of Scranton shows that 92 percent fail at achieving their goals. That means that only 8 percent achieve what they set their minds to.
What should Donald do? What is the secret of the 8 percent?
Let’s first dig into why resolutions don’t stick.
You pick the wrong resolution
We often make resolutions that don’t necessarily make us happy.
We focus on changing external circumstances. We want to be thinner or buffer or work up that bank account or get that PS5. We want these things because, ultimately, we think they will make us happy. The truth is, they will not make us happy and are often not even aligned with what we truly want or need.
Focusing on changing external circumstances will only make us happy temporarily.
Even if you get that job you wanted with a bigger salary, or get that slimmer body or buffer body, the joy those things bring will not last. We adapt quickly to the new normal and will then want something more. Therefore, changing external circumstances will not last for long. Those commitments fail.
Moreover, turning into a drill sergeant to accomplish your goals is also counterproductive. We tell ourselves we’re fat and lazy. This type of shaming works the opposite. In a word, it doesn’t.
If you have focused on changing your external circumstances and if your method is to shame yourself into accomplishing these goals, stop. You won’t succeed.
The right type of resolution
After working with Donald for several weeks, he changed his resolutions completely.
Here are some of his new resolutions:
- Be more intentional and authentic. Listen to and speak what’s in my gut more often.
- Practice gratitude every day.
- Move for 30 minutes every day.
- Adopt a self-compassionate mindset.
- Be open to awe.
The difference between these resolutions and his first ones is that these all focus on his mindset rather than accomplishing things or getting things.
Instead of changing his external circumstances, Donald committed to changing his internal circumstances. By focusing on changing his internal circumstances, his relationship to whatever is external would change. His mental well-being will flourish. Ultimately, he will be happier.
According to Yale Happiness Researcher Laurie Santos, you are likelier to stick to resolutions that focus on changing mindsets. With a change in mindset, you can approach life differently and more openly. A mindset change will be beneficial in any position you find yourself in.
But how do you change your mindset?
The following list offers research-based practices that will change your life almost immediately. They will certainly turn your life around in six months or less. You do not have to incorporate all of them to change your mindset. Incorporating a couple will do.
But if you want to supercharge your life, then go ahead and incorporate all. I’ll show you how it won’t take away from your already busy schedule.
1. Prioritize sleep over everything else
I think, as a culture, we have moved from worshipping sleep deprivation to worshipping sleep.
Without sleep, you won’t function. If you try to optimize your day and cram as much as possible into your waking hours and try hacks to teach your body to sleep less, I suggest you stop.
Sleep as much as you need and aim for 7–9 hours daily. This will help your performance, and it will help you regulate your mood and your appetite. Everything will be better in your life with enough sleep.
Get outside every morning for 10 minutes.
According to Professor Andrew Huberman, this will help you regulate your sleep rhythm. Put your phone away in a black box somewhere it belongs a few hours before you go to sleep. Getting enough natural light in the morning, and no artificial light at night is a way to regulate your sleep rhythm.
2. Practice meditation for 15 minutes per day
Meditation changes the brain.
Most of us who work in the knowledge industry need to focus for long periods of time. Focus is the currency of our time. It only makes sense then to train the mind to focus like you would your biceps or legs. It helps you change the way you relate to your experience of life.
It only takes 15 minutes per day.
Fifteen minutes of focusing and refocusing on your breath or your bodily sensations. Once you sit to meditate without distractions and find yourself lost in thought, return to the breath or sensations. That’s all. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.
3. Move your body for 30 minutes per day
Moving your body strengthens your brain and makes you more stress-resilient.
Don’t make big resolutions to join the gym. Walk for 30 minutes per day. After your lunch, in the morning or the evening. Take the stairs if you can. The daily small things you do can be life-changing.
You might not reap the benefits immediately but think six months. Incorporating a little daily movement into your daily life will increase your well-being and motivation significantly.
4. Journal for 15 minutes per day
See journaling as a place of rest, repose, and rejuvenation.
Journaling about your day can help you unlock patterns in your life. It can help you see what relationships are toxic and how you react to certain experiences and circumstances. In a word, journaling can help you grow in self-awareness.
Try to mix up your journaling so that you focus on a couple of things you are grateful for.
Research shows that journaling about things you can be grateful for changes your mindset.
Being grateful is an active choice that you can make. It does not necessarily come to you naturally. But by making the connection between a sense of gratitude and your life, you will change your mindset. A grateful mind is an open mind.
An open mind invites awe.
Awe is the emotion of vastness. Spending five minutes per day with openness as you walk close to water or in the forest will invite awe. Awe is associated with lower inflammation in the body and with better mental and physical well-being. In a word, awe makes you happy. The more you practice getting into awe states, the more you will find awe in your daily life.
Final thoughts
Donald’s life changed in less than six months.
He incorporated all four strategies that I listed above. Combined, they take up one hour of your day. Some of them, such as meditation and journaling, can be done while you take a break at work. Walking can be done during your work day. It does not have to be more complicated than that.
By giving yourself to these practices, your life will change for the better. You will find yourself calmer during the day. Your sense of happiness will be more stable and not depend on external circumstances.
If you decide to make bigger commitments, start a company, change jobs, or move to a different country.
By all means. Do them. All of them. But I hope you incorporate changing your mindset as well. Because there is one thing you can never move away from, that is yourself.
No matter what goals you accomplish. You still have to be with you.
