4 Reasons He Wants To Do Nasty Things With You in Bed

#2: He enjoys the intimacy of you

Men and women like different things during sex most of the time. By no means does this include everybody, but women usually like intangible stuff during sex, like mood, connection, setting, and music, while men usually enjoy specific activities.

Let me explain.

I’ve dated a guy who basically worshiped my butt. My butt!

He paid an incredible amount of attention to my ass. Okay, I’ll just come out with it, I’m currently dating a guy who absolutely loves my ass. We engage in various types of anal play all the time. We both love and enjoy it.

But, as a bisexual woman, I’ve also dated women. Never in all of my years have I ever thought about putting my tongue in another woman’s butthole. I’m sure there are women out there who do it with one another all the time.

Two of my friends are lesbians and they filled me in on their secret: they eat each other’s booties all the time.

But it’s not something I would’ve ever thought to do with a woman.

And it’s not just me. I’ve never had a woman ask me for that or ask to do that to me. But I’ve had plenty of men ask for that, let me tell you.

If you granted a woman one sexual wish, what she secretly wants in the bedroom, she’ll probably ask for tender touching and deep connection, staring into one another’s eyes. She might ask for something practical, like a more equal division of household chores.

If granted the same wish, most men will ask to see your butthole, smell your crotch, and squirt their splooge all over a highly specific body part of yours when they’re done.

It doesn’t mean that men are bad.

It doesn’t mean they’re disgusting.

It doesn’t mean they’re gross pigs who should be avoided.

It means they’re human.

See, once you understand what men are thinking when they ask to cum on your tits or eat your ass out like groceries, it’s pretty freaking adorable.

There are more reasons men love nasty sex and men might want nasty sex for a combination of these reasons, but here are the five most common I’ve encountered.

Men Want a Connection With You

Most men express themselves through sex. Sure, they express themselves in a lot of other ways, too, but for men, sex doesn’t come with all the baggage it carries for us women.

We women constantly have to fear being judged by everyone under the sun, including our partners.

We have to worry we’ll appear too easy, too slutty, too eager, too prudish, and so much more. Sex is a complicated minefield of fuckery for women. It’s a headache and sometimes a pain in the ass (literally).

Men don’t have to deal with most of this. So for men, it seems like a simple, low-effort, enjoyable activity that they can use to share their feelings with you.

Sure, he could just tell you that you’re beautiful.

But you’ve heard that so many times you wouldn’t know if it was sincere. Off the top of your head, you can remember countless liars who promised the stars and swore to their dying days that you were the most perfect creature they’d ever set eyes on, only to change into a completely different person shortly thereafter.

He prefers to show you how incredible you make him feel by doing things with you that he doesn’t do with everyone else or things he’s never done with anyone else. To him, nasty activities in the bedroom are deeply special.

It took me forever to understand this.

He Enjoys the Intimacy of You

It sounds like it could be an Ed Sheeran song: he enjoys the intimacy of you.

Whether it sounds like a line in a pop song or a bad cliche doesn’t matter, if your fella wants to do something nasty with you in the bedroom, it just might be the truth.

Different couples deal with less flattering forms of intimacy differently.

Some couples openly fart in front of one another, other couples keep a safe distance and save the least flattering aspects of themselves, sparing their partners the dirty details.

We all have different ideas of what intimacy means in our heads. That’s why it might seem confusing at first if he’s attracted to something you find somewhat repulsive. It might be how hot he thinks you are after a long, sweaty day at work. It might be the scar you’ve been ashamed of since childhood. It might be something raunchy, like anilingus or anal sex.

If he wants to try any kind of nasty sex, there’s a possibility he’s into it because he feels like it gives the two of you a kind of closeness that can’t be found anywhere else. It makes him feel like he gets to know you in a new and unique way that others haven’t, or that he himself hasn’t.

It might be that he wants to share different types of experiences with you that you’ve never experienced before. He wants to show you a side of himself that he doesn’t show anyone else. And he wants to see that side of you, too.

One day, it dawned on me that sexual intimacy isn’t different from other forms of intimacy shared in a long-term or intense relationship.

Curiosity — the Novelty of Something New

Think of your sexual activities as a space. Each activity is a different room in a massive house.

When you first started dating, it was like the two of you were suddenly tossed into this big mansion to poke around and explore. It was a lot o f and each room brought something new to the table for you to enjoy.

But after a while, you realize you’ve explored every room, you’ve seen it all, memorized it in painstaking detail, and even bought the t-shirt.

Maybe he just wants something new and different. We all do. Sex can easily get repetitive. So if he wants to try something new with you, it might be his way of enjoying a little bit of the newness we all crave from time to time without even for a moment considering sleeping with someone new.

When you put it that way, it’s very sweet of him. He’s putting your relationship above his whimsical feelings. He’s probably serious, responsible, and willing to care for you over the long haul.

He Enjoys It, Plain and Simple

Sometimes, the obvious explanation is the easiest to overlook. We can get worked up in our own heads sometimes and think sex has to do with power, control, domination, and conquest. It’s easy to find real-life experiences that confirm these suspicions. When we do that, we start thinking everything a man does in the bedroom has a deeper meaning.

But sometimes, it’s just what he wants to do and that’s it. There’s no pretext or ulterior motives.

Most of the time, I’ve found this to be what’s really behind men’s desires to do nasty stuff in bed.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re allowed to enjoy different things, as long as we get consent from our partners and they’re on board with it. It’s important to keep this in mind when approaching our relationships. Sex isn’t zero sum. One person doesn’t win at the expense of the other.

When you give your partner what they want — or when they give you what you want — nobody owes anybody. Approaching sexual novelty with an open mind and a wlilingness to allow yourself to enjoy it can do wonders for your relationship and your sex life.

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