Summary

The article outlines four reflective questions to aid in making tough decisions by providing clarity and aligning choices with personal values and future happiness.

Abstract

The author presents a guide for navigating difficult life decisions by posing four introspective questions. The first question, "Will my future self be happy with this decision?" encourages individuals to consider their long-term satisfaction and align their choices with their passions and interests, rather than external pressures. The second question, "What would happen if I did nothing?" emphasizes the importance of taking action to avoid future regret and the potential negative consequences of inaction. The third question, "Do I want the memory?" prompts one to envision the future nostalgia associated with the outcome of their decision, fostering motivation to pursue meaningful experiences despite fear. Lastly, "Can I undo this?" addresses the reversibility of decisions, suggesting that low-risk choices with the potential for learning should be embraced, especially when there's an option to reverse course if necessary.

Opinions

The author believes that considering one's future happiness is crucial when making life-changing decisions, such as choosing a career path.
It is expressed that inaction can lead to greater regret than making the wrong decision, highlighting the importance of taking initiative.
The article suggests that envisioning future memories can be a powerful motivator to overcome fear and procrastination.
The author advocates for embracing new experiences, especially when the decision can be reversed, as the potential benefits outweigh the risks.
There is a personal anecdote about the author's decision to pursue writing and run a marathon, which underscores the value of personal fulfillment over societal expectations or fear of failure.
The author shares a positive experience with purchasing an online fitness course, which was made easier by the option of a money-back guarantee, illustrating the point about the benefits of reversible decisions.

4 Questions to Ask When You Need to Make a Tough Decision

To gain clarity and make better choices.

Life is packed with decisions. We take numerous decisions daily. From simple like what to make for dinner to difficult like should I start a new business? When confronted with big choices we often hesitate to make any decision and that leads to taking no decision at all.

Sometimes all it takes is the right question to gain clarity. A good question can lead you to choose a better path.

When facing a tough decision I ask these 4 questions to gain clarity and make the better choice.

Will my future self be happy with this decision?

Asking this question at the right time has made my life better and not asking has made it worst.

I was facing a big dilemma when I was in last year at college. Most of my friends were choosing either MBA, Engineering, or MBBS for their further study.

Those days these were the prestigious career options. If you choose any one from these, consider yourself set for life. You would earn a lot of money as well as respect from society. You would be considered a golden boy/girl of the family. So naturally, my family was also nudging me toward choosing one from those careers.

But I knew these options weren’t meant for me. I hated most of the subjects required for these courses like maths and science. I loved reading, painting, and making things.

Asking this question at the time gave me a lot of clarity to make a life-changing decision.

Will my future self be happy if I go ahead with the career choice of my friends and family pushing me towards?

The answer was no. As I said I hated every subject I had to take for these courses. I was sure I won't enjoy learning them. And when I tried to picture myself 5–10 years from then I couldn't see myself as a doctor or engineer.

I couldn't imagine myself in a big corporate office reading sales reports or meeting with potential clients. And that made it easy for me to decide which direction I should go with my higher studies.

What would happen if I did nothing?

We oftentimes focus so much on what would happen if we take a particular decision that we neglect to consider what could happen if we don’t.

This question prompts me to get up in the morning and write every day. Because I first hand experienced what would happen if I don’t do it.

I started writing on Medium in 2018. For a few weeks, it was all good. I was writing whenever I wanted, whatever I wanted. Soon I realized I need to work hard in order to grow as a writer. I have to come up with interesting ideas to write, then write every day, edit it, submit it to publications.

But with a small kid at the toe and endless house chores, I thought it was too much of a hassle to continue. It was easy to just relax with a cup of tea and mindless channel surfing at the end of the workday than to write something.

Then there was fear of what if my writing sucks? What if nobody reads my stories? What if my stories get rejected? What if somebody criticizes me?

All these fears kept me from doing the very thing I really wanted. So I stopped writing completely. But the thought never left my mind. Whenever I visited Medium to read other writers' stories, I felt sad that I couldn't do it. I couldn't be one of those talented writers.

After looking back I regrate not doing it. I regrate giving in to my fears. I regrate not putting in the hard work into the thing I love.

Now I get up every morning to write. I enjoy doing hard work. And I don’t pay any attention to my fears. Because I realized doing all these things seems difficult but at the end of the day, I enjoy it.

If you did nothing you will lose an opportunity to find out. Sometimes the consequences of doing nothing are greater than doing the wrong things. I usually regret doing nothing than doing something. Even if it turns out I took the wrong decision I am not bothered much. I would rather be wrong than think ‘what if’ for the rest of my life.

Do I want the memory?

Everything we do today becomes a memory tomorrow. Ask yourself before taking a tough decision, “Do I want this memory?” If you want to write a book but you are scared shitless so you procrastinate with scrolling on social media.

Ask, “5 years from now do I want the memory of me sitting down at my desk writing pages after pages, or do I want the memory of me lying in bed scrolling on my smartphone mindlessly?” That will make it easy for you to decide.

This question helps a lot when I want to try something crazy but am scared. Like the time I decided to run a marathon. Prior to that, I hadn’t even run 1k in my life. So the thought of running a marathon was scary. But I asked myself do I want the memory?

The answer was hell yes! I want the memory of me crossing the finish line. Receiving the medal and free breakfast. Sweaty and tired and aching all over the place but with the big smile on my face.

And that’s what I did. Six months later I successfully completed the marathon. That is one of my best memory.

Some of my best memories are when I was scared to do something but I bite the bullet and did anyway. And turned out those were the best decisions I took in my life.

Can I undo this?

When I started weight training at home, I didn’t have a lot of knowledge about it. So I read lots of articles, books on the subject. Watched a lot of Youtube videos but that made me even more confused.

There was so much information out there that I couldn't process it. I was stung by what is called analysis paralysis. I couldn't decide what to do. So to make it easier for me I decided to buy an online course.

The course which I decided was a bit expensive. I wasn’t sure if it will be beneficial to me at all.

What made my decision easier was the 30 days money-back guarantee it offered. I can buy the course and test it for a while and if it turns out not what I wanted then I can always get my money back. It was simple.

But it turns out to be the best decision I took in regards to my health. It's been 3 years since I purchased that course. And I am absolutely happy with it. I am training regularly, I am in the best shape of my life.

If a decision is reversible and the consequences of a mistake are low, then I’ll tend to lean towards the new experience. At the very least, I might lose some money or time but I’ll also learn something from it.