4 Hacks to Calm Your Spouse in Any Situation

It’s all about understanding the other person

“Relations aren’t tough. We are.”

Ugh. It happened again.

You were super-angry with your spouse and now you are super-tensed about it.

You’re feeling guilty. You didn’t want to shout at her, but you did.

Shouting (unnecessarily) at your spouse can eventually destroy your relationship.

Do you know how many times you become mad, or worse shout at your spouse in a month?

An average adult gets mad 30+ times in a month.

I was mentally disturbed in my 20s due to a big transitional period I had to go through — I had to choose my career and earn quick to support my family.

My productivity rate dropped at a high rate at that time. And when I overcame that period, I went to that same phase after I had my first breakup. And it was tough to overcome that situation. I did some research to find some solution and I share those with you today so that you don’t have to face any mental issue and even if you face it, you know how to get over it.

1. Apology Before Biology.

No matter what happens, if someone is mad at you, you need to apologize.

Problem is, we ‘think’ in this phase. We think and judge a lot before saying sorry.

This shouldn’t be the case.

Just say sorry, and mean it — it’s easy, really. At least easier than breaking a relationship.

Situations can be different: you may have not done anything wrong, there can be a misunderstanding, you didn’t mean something, and a lot more.

You don’t need to prove your point immediately. You don’t need to prove whose fault it is. You need to just be calm and be sorry.

There can be many reasons behind your actions but it’s the worst time to explain it.

And, never try to defend yourself in this situation. It’s a backfire. Both the opposite sides care about each other in a relationship. Trying to defend yourself will just open the door of humiliation for you.

Trying to defend yourself triggers a sense of selfishness in your loved one and she might say/do things that can hurt you.

Always remember this:

“Fire can’t be stopped using fire.”

2. Listen Silently Before Aggression.

Listening to the opposite person highlights how much you care about her and how willing you are to solve the problem.

Don’t give your attention elsewhere. Listen carefully to all of the things she is telling. Don’t pretend that you’re listening. If you’re really up to solve the problem, listen carefully, and don’t interrupt. She needs all of your attention, not your words.

Listen listen and listen silently. Whenever you start listening silently, there’ll be a bunch of judgments that will cross your mind. Let them cross, save them to your mind, but don’t let them come from your mouth — at least not right at the moment.

She might be wrong, it doesn’t matter. You love her, you need to listen to whatever she says, even if it’s full of bullshit.

Remember that old proverb:

“Deaf doesn’t have any enemy.”

3. Complaining Is A Blessing.

Whenever she is done complaining about this current topic, she is out of complaints. In this situation, she might come up with previous issues where you made her feel bad and unwanted. You need to listen to these. You may find a lot of things you didn’t care about before. This part is very crucial to understand her. It’s the most vulnerable time for her, don’t do anything stupid.

Just listen, console, and give the heartiest apology. Understanding this part can give you a real boost in understanding her.

We don’t want to hear complaints about ourselves most of the time. We always feel that we’re perfect and can’t have any problem. And zooming in, that’s the root issue, and accepting that is the beginning of the solution.

“Complaints come from expectations & expectations come from love.”

4. Just Cough And Get Rid off.

Starting to discuss the whole scenario is the biggest turnoff. It can bring unnecessary issues and your partner needs a longer time to heal.

Starting again would be to open a healed wound.

In this situation, be free, do some sweet talks, mock someone, share memes, or start discussing something interesting. It’ll fix the whole situation and put everyone in common shoes.

Doing this can prevent a very bad day with your spouse. Doing this will make you relieved.

Bonus Tip

Bad times are just that — bad.

The process of calming someone is simple, but not easy — the whole pressure on you. And no one wants to put unnecessary pressure on himself.

For this reason, when everything is over, maybe after a week when she in a good mood, start explaining your situation to her. Tell her how pissed off you were, how bad your day was, and what bad things you had to tackle on that day. Don’t complain, just express your feeling.

If you can express correctly, she’ll be convinced and think a lot of times before accusing you next time.

And, you aren’t perfect, even you can be mad sometimes. Let your partner read this so that she can handle you in the future, if necessary.

The storm will surely get over.

“Life is not a competition, it’s all about supporting each other.”