4 Great Reviews For Every Poor Review — Why Am I Still Not Happy?
Why we focus on the criticism and forget the compliments
Which do you more easily remember — the last compliment you got or the negative feedback you received?
I’m going to wager most people remember the barbed comment, the put-down in an argument, or the poor review of something you worked hard on.
Why is this?
We’ll come to that, but the reason for this article is I found myself in just this situation. A message popped up from a book reviewer I’m connected to on LinkedIn. In recent weeks she had let me know her husband was reading my first novel and would leave a review on Amazon when he finished. I’m always thrilled to know someone is reading my work, despite the imposter syndrome I still feel about being an “author”.
The early feedback was he was enjoying my book and you hope by the end positive feedback will follow. As an author, reader reviews are your lifeblood, the indicator of your credibility and (with any luck) your quality as a writer.
When the verdict comes in
With some trepidation, I could see the message from my contact was to inform me her husband had finished my novel. What would the verdict be? It was a little like opening the envelope to get your exam results. What followed made my morning:
“Miles Etherton’s book introduces readers to a new theme of terror in the taking over of all communication across the country, and replacing it with total control of the Internet. This gripping tale leaves the reader wondering, could this really happen? 5 *”
The feeling a positive, never mind a 5* review brings is overwhelming. You may well think this is turning into a shameless promotion of my book. Not so. Despite trying to locate the review on Amazon just to “make it real” in my head, something unexpected happened, and which derailed all my previous elation.
You can never forget the critical reviews
My search for this most recent piece of feedback pulled up my last review — a bad one — and something I’d tried to relegate from my thoughts. And here’s what it says:
“Appalling book. Massive holes within plot and containing unrealistic coincidences. I doubt if I will attempt another of Etherton’s offerings. 1*”
You tell me which of these reviews is the one I will spend more time dwelling on? This is despite in the 40+ reviews I have on Amazon 86% are between 3 and 5 stars, and 67% are 4 and 5 stars (32% and 35% respectively).
In other words: 4 out 5 of my reviews are “good”, “very good” and “excellent”
But the words “appalling book” are the ones that will remain. This infuriates me!
Welcome to your Negativity Bias
Research shows this human tendency to dwell on negativity at the expense of positive experiences and compliments comes from our evolution. This is the “fight or flight” reflex in action.
“Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive.”
The good news then is human evolution is to blame for not always celebrating the excellent reviews with the same vigour as you ruminate on the bad.
But should you shy away from the negative review?
Yes, it’s painful and maybe unfair. Whatever your view, it is someone else’s opinion which, whether we like it, is as valid as your own.
I prefer to learn from it and suggest you give it a go too.
Embracing the poor review
Whether it’s a negative book review, a lousy work appraisal, or your partner’s verdict on something personal to you, take a step back.
Maybe I surprised you by sharing my bad review? Would any self-respecting author advertise someone thought their novel is “appalling”?
I’ll let you decide whether it’s a wise tactic, but the fact remains it’s there on Amazon, it’s a reader’s view, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
What I can do is use it to motivate me to be better with my next novel, the one after that, and then again. I won’t forget the nice reviews but they only inspire me to write more, whereas the critical reviews encourage me to improve. That is something I can control.
There is a ton of advice out there about how to push back on “negativity bias” in the right way. Some of it is valuable, while other suggestions sound terrible.
But that’s just my subjective view — and that’s the point.
For most of us, the internal voice fueling our negativity bias isn’t going anywhere. Rather than fighting it, take a step back, process your emotions, accept it for what it is, and use it to motivate you to be better. It’s difficult and I don’t always succeed, but I’m determined not to let it derail my writing ambitions.
And who knows, maybe for my next book, my 1* reviewer might give me 2* instead!
If you enjoyed my article, here are a few more from me that hopefully catch your interest!