4 Fixable Habits That Make Your Anxiety Worse

I made every single one of those mistakes before realizing what I was doing wrong. Now I want to share what I’ve learned from them.

The mistakes I’ve made through the years seem really obvious now, but at the time I was oblivious to them. I did what I did without thinking about it and ignored as much of it as I could.

Why is this important to note?

You’ve probably heard that knowledge is power. Well, that also applies to how well you know yourself. Once you realize what you’re doing, why you're doing it, and why it’s not good for you, you can begin to turn things around.

I still find myself making some of those mistakes from time to time. I’m not perfect. But being aware when it happens, helps me get back on the right track.

Distracting Yourself All the Time

Nothing wrong with zoning out for a couple of hours in front of the TV. Sometimes we just need an escape from the real world and all its problems.

But I used to watch TV all the time. I did it because I was desperate to escape reality and afraid of being alone with my thoughts.

People often use such distractions as an escape. It doesn’t have to be TV — I know people who constantly play video games and others who go out drinking every night. Anything you do excessively to keep you from overthinking is not good for you.

Whatever form of escape you’re using, although it may temporarily treat the issue, it won’t fix things. Eventually, you’ll have to face reality.

The negative effects are:

• Having a backlog of negative thoughts that keeps you from falling asleep at night.
• Not being productive because of all the distractions.
• Neglecting your responsibilities, which will make you feel even worse about yourself.
• Avoiding real human interaction and seeing a decline in your social skills.

What to do about it:

Learning to limit yourself and looking for different activities that bring you joy is important.

When I decreased my screen time, I went out and tried new things — I hated some of them and others I liked.

One activity I would recommend to everyone is writing. While TV detached me from my feelings, writing made me explore them.

Spending more time outdoors is another healthy habit.

Being indoors can make you feel locked in with your problems — like there’s nothing else outside of your inner world. But being outdoors and close to nature, makes problems seem smaller.

It’s a very small-scale version of what astronauts feel when they see Earth from the space station — things that used to seem big, feel insignificant in comparison.

Blaming Others

I thought that blaming others and other things for my issues was going to make me feel less like a failure.

I learned that from a young age. My father was an expert at pointing the finger at everyone else but himself. I also used to do that — things didn’t work out because someone gave me bad advice, or I didn’t get enough help from my family, or it was bad luck.

I did that for years, but it didn’t make me feel better about myself. It just made me mad at the world.

The negative effects are:

• Fueling your anxiety with the anger you feel toward the world.
• Finding it hard to see the positive when everything seems to be against you.
• Becoming paranoid — wondering who or what is going to sabotage you next.
• Focusing on finding a cause for your problem and not focusing enough on finding a solution.

What to do about it:

Stop looking for someone or something to blame when things go wrong. What’s the point of it anyway? It would only hold you back.

If you want to move forward, you have to stop thinking about things that are unhelpful, and blaming others is one of the most useless things you could do.

Own your problems because no one will fix them for you.

That is not to say that you should start blaming yourself. No. Just tell yourself, “These are my problems and it’s up to me to find a solution for them.”

Accept that s*** happens sometimes and the world is not out to get you.

Not Taking Action

Another failed attempt at not feeling like a failure was avoiding action.

I figured that I can’t fail at something if I never tried it in the first place. So I kept procrastinating and finding excuses not to try things.

Let me tell you right now — that’s a bad strategy. It won’t make you feel better and it won’t protect you from disappointment. Being stuck in one place is not any better than falling and picking yourself up.

If you don’t want to live with regrets, you have to stop avoiding action.

The negative effects are:

• Still feeling like a failure because stagnation is also a form of defeat.
• Falling further and further behind everyone around you.
• Missing out on opportunities that may not come up again.
• Letting down your future self — one day you’ll look back on things and wish you had taken action.

What to do about it:

Start small. I was always too intimidated to do anything big, so I did nothing instead. Those aren’t the only options — you can find a middle ground and start by taking baby steps.

Don’t make a huge list of things you need to get done. Don’t start with the big picture.

Instead, pick one thing from your list and break that down into smaller tasks.

If one of your goals is to write your first blog article, finish the introduction today, the body of the text tomorrow, and the conclusion the next day. That’s what I did and it worked great.

Dismissing Your Achievements

I didn’t realize I was doing this until it was pointed out to me. People noticed how little excitement I showed when I accomplished something and how big my reactions were when I did something wrong.

That’s negativity at its worst.

But when you think about it, why should your losses mean more to you than your wins?

After all, losing is easy; winning is hard. You put too much effort into your achievements not to pay attention to them.

The negative effects are:

• Teaching yourself that only failure matters, which means you’ll never be happy with anything you do.
• Losing motivation because the prospect of achievement is not exciting enough.
• Setting unrealistically high standers for your future achievements.
• Feeling like you’ll never be good enough.

What to do about it:

It’s never too late to start celebrating your wins.

I used to think that only the big achievements were worth celebrating, but I was wrong. After I posted my first blog article, I went out for a drink with my best friend and it felt really good.

If you begin acknowledging your achievements through action, you’ll start feeling like a winner. Your success will feel more important.

You don’t have to throw a big party every time you ace a project, but there is still plenty you can do to acknowledge your smaller successes — go out for dinner with a friend, fix yourself a bubble bath, get your favorite dessert, or have a spa day.

Treating yourself to something that makes you feel good is a great way to celebrate and to make yourself feel like you deserve your success.

Final Thoughts

Realizing your mistakes is half the battle. I did a lot of these things unconsciously and that’s why I continued doing them for a very long time.

I feel more in control now because I pay close attention not only to the things I do but also to the reasons behind them. If a doctor knows exactly what your health problem is, they can treat it much better — the same applies here.

By talking to others who struggle with mental health, I’ve realized that the mistakes I’ve made are pretty common. I hope that sharing my experience will help those facing similar challenges.

Remember that you’re not alone.

Learn more about how to manage your anxiety and regain control of your life by downloading my FREE eBook.