The Beginning
365 Days of F(ib)B-ing- Chapter 1
Day 1- January 1
‘Relaxed Beginning to the New Year! Partying at home with roommates!’
Oh, it has been a bright new day and it is going to be a great year ahead! I just know it. Above was my post on FB today. I added a picture of Vibha, Kusum, and Sandhya. Vibha was late coming home from a project party. Kusum and Sandhya woke up at a minute past midnight. (Poor gals, trying to catch up on sleep, what with their horrible schedules. No wonder they declined all invitations for New Year Parties) All those fireworks ruined any chance of sleep.
Anyway, guess what I did. I threw them the idea of a ‘roomies’ party for New Year. I had the pastries I had bought for them to take in the morning (I wanted a new sweet start in the New Year with my roomies after all). Since, Kusum always keeps chips and Sandhya popcorn for emergencies, guess what? The party was on. We munched and chatted and watched the movie Titanic and gossiped. We had the time of our lives. Pity we never get together often. (Or maybe that is why we get along! Limited interaction = no clinginess or catfights = Good roomies). Anyway, three hours of Leo, pastries (they were sinfully delicious and sweet), and gossip later, we decided on a ‘selfie’ and sleep. The fireworks were over and so was the movie.
But there was something that I needed to do, right? So, I announced in what had to be the coolest voice I have ever faked (yes, me, the easygoing, home bird!) “Hey Gals! Photo session time!” Their reactions were better than what I’d hoped. Within minutes gone were the bedraggled appearances and we all took the most amazing selfies ever. Even I have to admit, there is something about being in a photograph that brings out the best in all womenfolk. My humble self included, obviously. I certainly did not want to look like the defamed rat dipped in oil. (I settled for the ever-classy, easygoing, intellectual look.) I added the pic to FB tagging my three new gal pals realizing that we were not even friends on FB. We did not even know each other’s project names. A year of staying under the same roof and working for the same IT company and that’s how little we know or care about each other. So saddening and sobering, that fact!
Anyway, back to happier and less philosophical thoughts. I added the above post on the bus ride to the office. And guess what the tally is at the end of the day? More than a hundred Likes and over thirty comments! Woo-hoo indeed! I admit the comments and likes were more from Vibha and Kusum’s friends. But hey, the tally is on mine, right? And it is not unexpected — Vibha is simply too beautiful and Kusum the Cool Cat! But back to moi. It was awesome- that feeling of bubbly happiness at seeing Notification after Notification. Thank you darling Papa for the iPhone! It was like a personal victory. I know I ought not to be thrilled at such petty and mundane things and that it is all just empty vainglory but I simply cannot help myself. I am so happy.
The best part was of course the day in the office. We had all sorts of bedraggled and unhappily hung-over folks trying to keep up the semblance of a formal, working atmosphere. And failing miserably. And for once, I had a very nonchalant — ‘Oh, chilled out with a Roomie Party’ to pitch to anyone who asked. I remember feeling rather despondent after last year’s New Year when I had simply nothing to say. I had felt so uncool and insignificant and lonely! But not so this year! Yippee!! And now I’m going to bed and try to dream of amazing things to write tomorrow.
Day 2- January 2
‘Thank God it’s Friday!’
An utterly clichéd post but it will make do as my post for today. Especially because I am so weary of all the hangovers (of other people of course) and everybody’s heated discussions of parties and which one was the best and which the worst. I especially do not want to hear one more word of which pub served the maximum quantity of free liquor and whose capacity to imbibe is the best. I cannot believe that all these well-educated people (they are all engineers at least) are so pathetic at their attempts at conversation. Or maybe it is all that booze. But frankly, it is lunchtime and I am sick of all the snatches of conversation I have encountered. So, I am concentrating on FB and scribbling furiously in this Journal and also plotting my next posts and trying to think of how to pass the next two hours before I make an early weekender exit.
Thank God it IS Friday and thank the good heavens I live in Mumbai and so, people will not mind my early flight.
Day 3- January 3
Reading Prisoner of Birth! Not fond of remakes, but this is Excellent.
Haha!
Dear Diary,
Is the above post an example of Yellow Journalism? Does it count as a lie if I already finished the book last weekend? After all, if it were not for sneakily reading it late at night last Saturday, Ma would never have let me touch it until she finished it. So, technically, I would be reading it today, no? But never mind, I know this is a sly post and hence, I like it. It will get lots of likes and comments. And so, strike the lie, I love it!
Day 4- January 4
‘Shopping with Ma’
Dear Diary,
Why does shopping — specifically women doing shopping invoke groans from mankind? Why does it evoke pictures of women striding up and down malls and stores, emptying wallets of hard-working men? Why, why, why?
It’s horrid, how men demean us with stereotypes!
Let me share the truth with you on this ‘fact’. Ma and I were indeed out shopping. But Pa was with us. And yes, he was paying the bills. But Ma earns. I earn. And Ma and Pa both share the household bills. True, we were buying clothes. But Pongal is less than a fortnight away. And Rati Aunty is having a housewarming function the next day. So, we needed a gift for them as well. Plus, Ma bargained and bought everything on sale. But no, instead of imagining a proper ‘grihastha mahila’* battling to maximize her budget and save every penny, we fondly fantasize spendthrift ladies out on shopping sprees. Never mind. Made for excellent debates on FB. Is this how media thrives? I am making it a point to consider everyone kindly and compassionately going forward. Oh yes!
*homely, motherly lady
Day5- January 5
‘A library in my backyard! Whooppee!!’
Dear Diary,
A more accurate description of my reaction was “Aaargh! And I never knew it!’ Can you imagine? I, I did not know there was a library near my house. This was so horrid. Who do you think told me? Ketan — that nasty, flirtatious, conniving toad. I know he mentioned it just to score points with me, so I would introduce him to Vibha, but it was awful to realize that he knew about it and not me. It is such an unfair world. Besides, I know he was smirking on the inside while taking me to the place.
All right, I must stop. Positivity, cool cat persona back on. I did thank him. I also did tell him I would mention the fact to my roommate Vibha as she loves books too. And just like I expected, he asked me in saccharine tones to please mention that he told me. I did reply in the affirmative but it was a little hard to contain my annoyance. Why cannot people spare me the horror of helping them in their love lives? God, help me!
On second thoughts, I got a library membership and so will Vibha very soon. So, not so bad after all.
Day 6- January 6
‘Double Cheese Pizza! Sinfully delicious!’
Yes, Dearest Diary,
Those asinine words were my post for today! I could not think of anything else. I worked late trying to get some extra work done. Our project is well underway and unless I get going, I will so not be able to make an early exit next Friday.
And what do you think suffers? My diet and also my coolness factor!
I am trying hard not to think that this resolution might not work out, but hey, I am not giving up hope so easily. Also, the pizza was delicious.
Day 7- January 7
‘Birthday treat, courtesy Jessie Thomas’
I hate that gal. Ok, hate is too strong a word. I really, intensely, dislike that girl. She gets on my nerves with her pretty ways. She is such a small towner but acts like she is some Mother Teresa cum Kareena** rolled into one. I absolutely detest that.
I hate, ok, loathe people who feign to be Miss Goody Two Shoes all the time. I mean, I know it is not real. Heaven knows how many times I have heard her artfully gossiping and tattling about others. But, she does know how to get along with the superior folks. That delicate, subtly disguised damsel demeanor and polite persona is rather a winning touch.
I know I should not be biased and get along especially as she has never been anything but polite to me. But I know that she knows that I know the truth about her, that I can see past that girly façade. Oh God, look at the way I’m talking. Horrible! And yeah, that girl can’t even spell!
I know I sound like Maya Sarabhai* and at some moments, I wish I could be like her. Maya Sarabhai, I mean, not Jessie.
Anyway, Ciao for now. I need to work off that butterscotch ice cream.
**Famous Bollywood actress who is renowned for her bubbly, spunky, and fashionable characters
*Snooty character in Indian soap opera- similar to the MiL character in Schitt’s Creek
